A girl named Cassidy raised her hand.
“Yes?” I called on her.
“Are you married?” She giggled. Abbie, the girl next to her, did the same.
“I’m not sure how that’s important to the lesson or assignment, but no.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Abbie asked.
“Oh my God. He’s gay. He has that sign on the door,” Jeff added.
“Okay, I think we’ve gotten off-track here. My personal life isn’t up for discussion unless it’s information I offer you, but I will say, having an inclusion sign doesn’t mean someone is LGBTQ+.”
“How come only you and Mr. Boyd have them, then?” Jeff asked.
Well, shit. I had no idea what to say to that. Because the world was a shitty place sometimes? Because there were likely people here who didn’t agree with the sign or that this was the place to have it? Because some people didn’t think about things that didn’t affect them or didn’t understand the importance for queer youth to know they were welcome? Even if they never spoke up, seeing that sign could make all the difference in the world. They should be up in every classroom, and it should also be true in every one as well.
But I didn’t think that was how I should answer. They didn’t prepare you in college for these types of questions.
Before I could sort through my thoughts enough to land on something to say, the bell rang, effectively taking their mind off our discussion and on going home.
“Make sure you don’t forget to read through the short story and mark different figures of speech,” I said as they all made their way out of the classroom.
I fell into my chair, elbows on the desk, face in my hands. I was thoroughly exhausted. I must have sat there a while because when there was a soft knock on the open door, I looked up to see an empty hallway except for Cameron.
“Long day?” he asked.
Between two jobs, every day was a long day, but I didn’t tell him that. “You could say that.” I nodded, and he came inside, pulled up one of the student chairs beside my desk, and sat down. “One of the girls asked if I’m married, then another if I have a girlfriend. It threw me for a loop. I guess I didn’t expect them to question my personal life. I didn’t know what to say. I’m not closeted, haven’t been for a long time, but I’m also scared to death of saying the wrong thing and getting angry parents complaining that I’m shoving my lifestyle in their kids’ faces or something crazy like that. Why is it they can talk about their spouses, but I can’t? Well, if I had one.”
“You can,” Cameron replied. “You would do it in the same way a straight teacher would. I know it can be scary at first.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just didn’t expect it. I think the girls were simply curious, but then Jeff blurted out that I’m gay because only you and I have inclusion signs.”
“Jeff Burwell? He’s a piece of work, that kid. Probably has to do with all the talk about you.”
I frowned, my pulse kicking up. “Talk? What talk? I haven’t heard any talking. Who’s talking?”
Cameron chuckled. “All the girls are talking about the hot sixth-grade English teacher. There are all these stories going around about you being a child model and leaving the celebrity world behind because you got tired of being used for your looks. Those are the tame stories.”
My ears heated. Why was it always my ears? That made me think of Harrison since he’d mentioned them turning pink before.
“You really haven’t heard?” he asked.
“I had no idea!”
“Even some of the moms are talking about you—I would assume some of the fathers too. Apparently, you’re too pretty to be a teacher, and they didn’t have teachers like you in their day. I actually heard someone say that.”
“Oh God.” I shook my head. “Really?”
“Yes. They call you Hottie Wescott. I can’t believe no one has told you!”
I rubbed a hand over my face. “I guess I’ve been too busy to really pay attention.” That was…awkward.
We were both quiet for a moment, Cameron watching me, before he asked, “Do you have plans tonight? Want to go have a drink and talk shop? You’ve been at this for three weeks so far. Ready to run for the hills?”
“Rain check?” I appreciated Cameron befriending me, being willing to let me pick his brain, but first, I was broke. I had money but couldn’t really spend any of it on anything fun. Plus, I’d promised to video call with Mom and Bug this afternoon, and I was dead on my feet. I liked Cameron. I wanted to be friends with him. I needed more friends. I just didn’t have the time to have them. “I know I’ve said that once before. I really would like to hang out. Life is just…a lot at the moment.”
“No problem. I get it. Here, let me give you my cell phone number. If you’re ever hanging out on a weekend and feel like getting out of the house, you can let me know.”
“Great. I have my phone right here.” I pulled it out of the drawer, added his number, and texted him so he had mine.
He left after that, and I packed up my things and headed out too.
I was off from the coffeehouse today, which I definitely needed. I had papers to grade and relaxing to do.
The lot was nearly empty when I got to my car, but I noticed Cameron’s jeep was still there. He must have gone into his classroom instead of leaving.
I tossed my bag to the passenger seat, got in, and turned the key in the ignition. Strange noises sounded, popping and cracking. The engine came to life, but smoke immediately began coming out from under the hood. Nooooo. God no. I didn’t need this. I really fucking didn’t, and if it did happen, school was the last place I wanted to have to deal with it.
I immediately shut it off, hoping the plumes in the air would disperse quickly. What was I going to do if my car needed expensive repairs? Or if it fucking died altogether?
I banged my forehead against the steering wheel, chest heavy and gut churning. I was so incredibly fucked. How would I get to my jobs? How in the fuck was I supposed to do this without a vehicle?
I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. My forehead was still pressed to the wheel when there was a knock on my window. I shot my head up to see Cameron there. I lowered the window.
“Is everything okay?” There was real concern in his voice.
Thankfully, the smoke was gone. “Yeah, it’s fine. I just have a bit of a headache and remembered something I have to do. And I missed a call from my mom.” Lies. I was a lying liar who lied.
“Okay. You sure?”
No, no I’m not. I’m so fucked, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. “Yep. All good. Just going to call her back.” I held up my phone.
“Okay. Have a good one.” He gave me a smile, went to his vehicle, and left.
I waited close to an hour, until the lot was empty, then tried to start my car. It sputtered smoke…started…died. The third time it did the same. The fourth, it wouldn’t come on at all.
Panic clawed at my chest. My breathing picked up, this heavy weight on top of me that I wasn’t sure I could hold. I rubbed a hand over my face. “Calm down, Zander. You can do this. You’ve had bigger shit to worry about in your life. You’ll figure it out.” I always did. I figured everything out all the time.