That was the gut punch that brought me back to my senses, and I stepped away before I did something else that I’d regret, or spew more emotional crap. I gripped the back of my neck and stared at the ceiling to reel in my thoughts. When I refocused on Andrew, the look on his face broke me. “Shit. I’m sorry, man.”
“Yeah, me too. Do you want to talk about it?”
“I don’t know what to even say.” It was the truth.
“I get it. You’re into her.” The pity returned in his expression as he clamped a firm hand on my shoulder. “Stop fighting it.”
“Fighting what?” I barked.
He stared at me before shaking his head. “Nothing, man. Let’s go get you good and drunk.”
And that was just what he did. It was a strange state of drunkenness. Through it, I engaged, ate, laughed with my brothers, and smiled during the cake nonsense. I even lied my way through questions about Amy’s departure, claiming she didn’t feel well. It was quite an act, because all I could truly focus on, even through the alcohol-induced haze, was getting my ass back to the city.
Of course, Jade saw right through it all and interrogated me. Miraculously, I managed to play it off as though I’d made a stupid comment and Amy had gotten pissed. It wasn’t far from the truth. I did admit to Jade that I fucked up and planned to make it right. That was nothing more than blowing smoke up her ass, because I had no idea how to even do that.
Come midnight, the buzz had worn off, and the thoughts of Amy had resurfaced. I made my rounds, saying goodbye, claiming work didn’t care that it was my birthday. I promised my mother that I wasn’t drunk anymore and called for a ride. Just before I walked out the door, Jade cornered me with a pink jacket. The sly look in her eye when she asked if I could pass it on to her best friend was my sister-in-law’s subtle way of hinting that I should make it a point to see Amy.
As I was sitting on the front steps, waiting for the car to arrive, Andrew opened the door and almost backtracked at seeing me.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he repeated. “I was just heading out.” He passed me on the steps but stopped from walking away. “So now that you’re sober… and calmer,” he said with an exaggerated smirk. “Are we okay?”
A long sigh came before I nodded. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”
“I get it. Love can be—”
“I don’t love her.” My response was laced with hostility, and the fist clenched on my thigh caused him to raise both hands.
“Okay… okay. My bad.” It was always Andrew who acted like the child and I the parent. Somehow we seemed to have reversed roles tonight. Undeterred, he casually said, “I’m heading to the Hamptons; otherwise I’d give you a ride back.”
“No worries. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I’ll see you Monday.”
He regarded me, nodded, and walked away, leaving me feeling like an asshole.
The cab had deposited me at her building twenty minutes ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to ring her bell. It had nothing to do with it being well past two in the morning. I had no idea why I was even there. If she truly wanted to end things with me, would showing up in the middle of the night change her mind?
I stared up at her window like a fucking creeper. It wasn’t just Amy who was out of character tonight. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. What was the point of any of it? I always claimed to be a straight shooter, but her accusing me of playing games continued to peck at my normally confident demeanor.
Was I playing games?
How and when did this thing between us change? I’d always been honest about what I wanted with her, and she had been on the same page. Right now, it felt as though she were letter A in a dictionary, and I was Z.
It was at that moment, as I stood on the sidewalk having no clue what to do, that a light went on in her window. That was all it took to stalk right for the panel of doorbells and press hers. The first attempt went unanswered, until I pressed it again and again.
“Who is it?” she whispered harshly through the intercom.
“It’s me.”
Silence followed, and I was sure she was about to send me away or even ignore I was there. But, shockingly, a buzzing echoed loudly in the small vestibule, granting me access. The elevator clanked up the old building, and with each floor it made me doubt the need to be there. The doubt continued down the hall right up until I stood at her already opened door.
I pushed against it and locked eyes with Amy, who sat on her couch across the room. Her face was devoid of makeup. Her T-shirt and sweats appeared well worn, but she still looked gorgeous.
“You’re up,” I said like an idiot.
She nodded. “What are you doing here?”
“The fuck if I know.” Those gorgeous lips of hers twitched, and that was enough encouragement to close the door and move forward to sit beside her. Her attention focused on the pale-pink jacket in my hand. “You left this at my parents’ house.”
“Thank you,” she said, taking it from me to lay beside her. “How was the party?”
“Good. Jade is concerned.”
“I spoke to her. Well, she did most of the talking, actually.”
I chuckled. “Of course she did.”
We fell silent until Amy said, “Hey, the Andrew thing. Why does that—”
My palm stopped her instantly. “Stop. Just having this visual of you two together is driving me to want to hurt him.”
Her eyes blazed. “I didn’t know you then, Nate.”
“This is more about him. It’s what he does, and his dick is fucking things up in my life. Just last week he recused himself from a huge case because he had slept with the client’s wife.”
Amy smirked. “That’s actually hilarious.”
“Yeah, ha ha. Forget him. Andrew will live to see another day. I don’t want to think about you two together… ever.” A small smile lifted her lips as she nodded, and then she opened her mouth to speak, only to close it again. “What?”
“It still doesn’t make sense why it bothers you so much that I slept with him at all? We’re just fooling around ourselves.”
Million-dollar question. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. The exaggerated roll of her eyes meant that was the wrong answer. “What do you want me to say, Jersey? It just does. It pisses me the fuck off, knowing my whore of a friend fucked you.”
Her pale-blue eyes flashed with anger. “You don’t see me carrying on about the blonde you were with. It was in your past, as was Andrew in mine. Why does it matter what he and I did before you even knew me?”
“It just does!” I repeated.
Wrong answer again, because my outburst flipped a switch, and she abruptly stood before walking away, putting distance between us. “Why are you here, Nate?” she asked, folding her arms in wait.
“I don’t know.” Based on another dramatic eye roll, including a huff for good measure, it was clear that I was batting a thousand with my responses. “I wanted to… I… We…” I stared at her, completely lost.
Brilliant, Nate.
She shook her head and waved toward the door. “It’s late. Figure it out, and then call me.”