I believed him… because I felt that dejection in every cell in my body.
Shit… I never saw this coming. That woman had me questioning every one of my convictions about relationships. Somehow, she’d gotten under my skin, in my blood, and into my heart. Somehow, she’d made me feel something that lingered much longer than an orgasm. Somehow, she’d accomplished all this without me even realizing it. And the thing with this kind of metamorphosis, now that it had happened, it was too late to reverse it.
Maybe it was the deer-in-headlights thing I had going, or the lack of a rebuttal, but either way my brother continued to read right through me. “Shit, man, I’m sorry… but can I say one more thing?”
“Why stop now, you prick.”
He laughed in my face before blurting out, “You’re an idiot.”
“For letting her go?” I wasn’t sure I could handle my man-whore of a brother throwing that in my face.
“No… for letting it happen.” He shook his head at me with disgust lacing his expression.
“Yeah… agreed.”
“This is what you’re gonna do.” He propped his elbows on the polished wood between us and leaned in conspiratorially. “Tomorrow morning, you’ll go back to your cushy job, tear apart a few dozen marriages, and make millions doing it. Then, in the next few days, I have faith you’ll find a new arrangement…” His hand waved toward the bevy of beauties in his bar. “Use my place if you need to. Before you know it, you’ll be back to your pricky self.”
I wasn’t sure what part of that chain of instructions caused me to feel sick to my stomach. I suspected all of it, starting with my job.
I had always said once the Steiner divorce was finally put to bed, I would take a much-needed vacation. That still held true, I wanted time to myself to relax… something I hadn’t done in far too long. The problem was, I wanted to do that relaxing with Amy. And to add insult to injury, I had no interest in picking up my next case—or working on any of the current ones, for that matter.
I couldn’t give a shit that Stan Mussner fucked his secretary, causing Agnes Mussner to want the ski chalet in Vale, the penthouse in Manhattan, and half of the profits from her philandering husband’s hedge fund empire.
In my peripheral, I saw one of Brad’s waitresses bring my burger over and place it before me. “Thank you,” I mumbled without looking up. But it took my brother knocking on the bar to truly grab my attention. “What?”
“Forget what I said.” Green eyes exact to mine studied my face and slumped posture before he folded his arms and announced, “It’s too late. You’re fucked, dude.”
Most would consider me lucky for having experienced heartbreak only twice in my life. Still, what I felt at seventeen was nothing compared to what I felt now. I guess older in years meant bigger hurt.
Same held true for regret. Even after Sawyer broke my heart, I was too young back then to know what regret was. The blame had been solely placed on Sawyer, and not once had I held myself accountable for what he’d done to me. And since then, I’d lived my life my way, on my terms, and never second-guessed any decisions I made.
Until now.
I not only continued to regret getting involved with Nate to begin with, but unlike with Sawyer, I blamed only myself.
Despite that, after the long stretch of sleepless consciousness during which I spent hours tossing and turning, a part of me inexplicably also regretted pushing him away. Based on the agitated state of my body, the hypersensitivity of my flesh, I was sure my libido was responsible for that specific regret. It would miss him… especially his addictive kisses, his talent in pleasuring my body, his ability to have me forget all logic.
But with the morning light came clarity. He was Nate Navarro, divorce attorney extraordinaire, and staunchly against emotional relationships. That hadn’t changed, nor would it. If there were the slightest possibility that he also wanted more with me, he had the opportunity to say so last night. Instead, he claimed it wasn’t in him to be more, and he walked away without argument.
So, it was absolutely necessary for me to disentangle Nate from my life.
As promised, Jade was at my door at 10:00 a.m. on the nose with bagels, spreads, and coffees. When her gaze landed on the dark circles around my eyes, she frowned, yet refrained from saying that I looked like shit. Knowing my friend, she assumed it was losing Runnel that had caused my sleepless night. Eventually I would have to tell her… after coffee.
Jade jumped right to the point of this visit by saying, “Tell me what happened with Runnel.”
While we ate, I filled her in with how Janis matter-of-factly said they were passing because it wasn’t a right fit. “I didn’t buy it, though, and want to talk to her in person. Look her in the eye.”
“You think she’s lying?”
“There’s more to it.” I had to find out details that Nate insinuated but held back from telling me. “Janis always played the victim when it came to Richard, but a memory of randomly running into her one afternoon popped into my head last night. I had forgotten all about it. It was before she told me Richard had filed for divorce. I was dating Will then and headed to the park to meet him. Janis came out of the Plaza hotel with a man who looked familiar. The two stood under the portico, talking, before he kissed her cheek, got into a cab, and left.
“When I called her name and she turned, it looked like she had seen a ghost right before she waved and ducked into a cab as well. Later that day, Janis called me to explain, claiming the man and Richard were best friends, and she’d merely met him for a drink. But those two looked very chummy leaving a hotel in the middle of a Tuesday. And then I saw an article online, and there was the same man.”
“Ooh, who was it?”
“Torrelli, or something like that?”
“The congressman?” Jade asked on a gasp.
“Yeah. There isn’t a doubt in my mind this is why Richard has been a prick during their divorce proceedings.” Mainly because Nate sparked the suspicion. “She was having an affair.” And if that was the case, unlike Nate, who couldn’t tell me details because of client privilege, Janis had purposely let me get my hopes up for nothing. “I seriously need a break from her and anything involving Runnel.”
“Oh, I have a great idea. Come to Miami for Thanksgiving. You’ll get to see the house, which you’ll love.” Jade filled me in on the place that Max and she had fallen in love with, showing me pictures while filling in the virtual tour with renovation plans that they intended to complete.
“One of these days I will come down to see it,” I said, clearly picturing the outdoor oasis, including an inground pool that she’d just sold me on. “It sounds amazing.”
“Now is as good a time as any. You need a break; you said so yourself. And you know how I hate you being alone during the holidays.”
Every year held an open invite from my best friend. Ever since she and I had moved out on our own, Jade had always ensured I had a place at her family’s table. And now that she was married to Max, that invite continued. Sometimes I would accept, and then there were those years that I just wasn’t in a very holiday-ish mood.
“It’s been too long since you took a vacation,” she pressured. “My parents decided to stay here, since Sapphire is due any day now. But Max’s parents are coming. I’ll ask Nate again. He originally said that he didn’t know if he could swing it, but I bet if you committed, he’d come.”