“You’re right. That was a bad choice of words. I’m sorry I said them. Tell me what to do, Hayley. Tell me what you want. It was an honest mistake.”
“Oh, give me a break. Those lame-ass excuses may work on other people but not on me. You promise long enough to say, oh we will have time together. Oh we will be reconnecting the whole time. The focus will be you and only you. How long did that last, Taylor? Huh? Like the plane ride maybe? Although I don’t know that for sure because I was asleep for most of it. I looked at your phone when you were in the shower because I had a feeling. I was right. You’ve responded to fifteen texts, one phone call, and maybe even emails too. I don’t know and that was just today. Then we have your supermodel fairy-tale princess, who just glided in and out of here on a cloud.”
“You looked at my phone? Really?”
“Don’t. Don’t even try to make me feel bad about it. You broke the promises. I didn’t.”
“Hayley, you’re working yourself up over nothing. Yes, I had to answer a few messages. Sue me. What do you want me to say? I fucked up. I can shout it in the middle of the party if that would make you feel better.”
“Right. Be a child. You’re good at it. Let me know when you feel like being a goddamn adult.”
I try to brush past him, but those spots have only grown thicker and thicker. My head is pounding so hard I can hardly keep my eyes open. When I can see part of the path in front of me, it tilts on an angle. I can hear my heels scrape on the concrete underneath me. It sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard and makes me sick to my stomach.
I reach out for something, anything to hold me up. I first find Wes’s hand, then his wrist. The bangles around my wrist clang against his skin as I feel myself tilt toward him.
“Hayley? Hey. What’s going on?”
“I don’t… I don’t feel so good.”
Wes
At first the grip around my wrist is angry, then it feels like a floundering for something … a lifeline perhaps. I hear the words I don’t feel so good and before the d is even complete from her mouth, she sways into me. Her ankles and knees fold toward the ground. I open my arms to this petite human I’d die for, and she collapses into them.
“Hayley? Hey. Hayley?” Her eyes are rolled close with the faintest streaks of mascara beneath them and a tear still rolling down her cheek. The long sleeves of her dress begin to bunch toward her elbows. I can hear the layers of her skirt start to crinkle between us as we sink to the ground.
“Hayley, wake up. Hayley?” I start frantically stroking her head. She doesn’t feel warm. In fact, she feels like a block of ice. There is next to no color in her face. “Help,” I call in a low voice. “Help!” I start screaming in a voice I can only describe as one that feels out of body.
I can hear footsteps before I see them. Eli’s shadow is at a walk until my voice echoes to him. Then he’s in a full sprint in his suit. He skids to a stop near Hayley’s feet. “What the fuck happened?”
“Call Nine-One-One man. Do it!” I scream.
He pulls his phone from the breast of his jacket and begins to dial. I can hear other footsteps behind him. It’s Colton. “Sweet Jesus. What the fuck?”
Eli’s words on the phone are a blur. I couldn’t tell you what he said if my life depended on it. “Give me your jacket. She’s freezing. Her breathing is… where are they?”
“They’re coming,” Eli says, his voice trembling at our side. “Hey, Kiddo. It’s all good. We’re here. Everything’s going to be okay.” Colton and Eli both give me their jackets. I wrap Eli’s around her shoulders and cover her legs with the other, as I cradle her upper body and head against me.
“Baby, wake up. Yell at me some more. Tell me again I’m an asshole. Say something.” I can hear the sirens coming toward us. They’re just barely in the distance. “Help is coming.” I rock her limp body slowly in my arms. “Help is coming.”
Chapter 15
Wes
I sit in the back of the ambulance, holding Hayley’s hand quietly, while the EMTs place the oxygen over her mouth and nose and communicate her vitals to the waiting emergency room personnel. I wish the siren could drown out my thoughts. I wish I knew what was wrong with her. I don’t want to know the possibilities.
I don’t remember her complaining of not feeling well today before going down in my arms. She’s been so tired and sad. I know she’s been under a lot of stress because of me, but I thought we were working through it. Think, asshole, think. What can you tell them that would be helpful? I’m drawing a total blank. All I can think of is my girl is so pale and quiet. She looks like Sleeping Beauty lying on the gurney as I rub her hand over and over, trying to get it warm and let her know I’m right here.
The ride to the hospital is the longest and shortest few minutes. We pull into the drive, and they whisk Hayley away just as quickly. The setting sun beats down on my back as they roll her through the emergency doors. Eli runs past, brushing my arm without stopping to catch up with his sister. The world is going on around me in a blur at warp speed. I can’t move. I’m frozen.
“Mav. You have to move.”
The words start to break through the ice I’m standing in. A tiny, tough hand slides into mine, finally shaking me free. Dylan has Eli’s jacket around her shoulders. She leans in against my arm and dives into the deep freeze alongside me. “I knew this would happen,” I tell her. “I should have trusted my instincts instead of my feelings.”
“You knew what would happen?”
“I knew I would destroy her and here we are. I was so singularly focused that I didn’t see what was right in front of me.”
“You don’t know anything. We don’t know anything. We’re all just as scared as you are. But, Wes, I’m going to give you a piece of advice that was given to me by a really good friend. Stop that shit. I’m not going to let you go down that rabbit hole. If you can’t stay positive, then I won’t take you in there. Blaming yourself isn’t going to change anything. Hayley and Eli don’t need it. They need us. Put one foot in front of the other with me.”
I sigh. “Leave it to you to throw my own words back at me at the best worst time.”
Dylan gives me a small smile and a firm tug to my hand, as once again she and I walk through a different set of emergency room doors together. Eli is pacing the floor just outside the secure entrance like a caged panther. He’s on his phone. When we get within listening range, we hear him tell their mother to not get on a flight and he will call her with more details when he has them.
Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes turn into hours. Dylan, Eli, and I take turns begging for information and the ability to see Hayley. No one will tell us anything. The last time Dylan goes to ask, we finally get a different answer, one that I don’t like. The doctor wants to meet with us in one of the family rooms. The last time I was near one of them, we almost lost Eli. I know I’m not ready to hear what they have to say.