EMERSYN
Freddie let out a huge sigh when we finally came out of the bedroom, probably because it had been more than twenty minutes. Maybe longer. We’d taken a shower. Well, showers, Rome sat and watched me and I waited for him. Way past the five minutes Rome had declared. Then again, my lips tingled and my body hummed.
For the first time in weeks, I wasn’t cold. I’d dressed in one of Rome’s sweatshirts and a pair of my leggings. The fuzzy socks I’d apparently forgotten, so they worked. He’d even waited until after I’d gotten dressed to kiss me again. That had to have taken at least five minutes more.
“Thought you guys were never going to come out,” Freddie said almost mournfully. “Liam is starving me.” The melodrama and the way he clutched at his chest made me laugh.
“Yeah,” Liam agreed, expressionless. “What happened to five minutes?”
Rome headed into the kitchen. “I wanted five minutes more.”
His twin snorted, but he wasn’t watching his brother. No, Liam focused on me and I shifted under the scrutiny. Sometimes, he saw too much, and as raw and exposed as I’d been feeling earlier, Rome had helped to paper over the cracks. I didn’t want to tug on any of that.
So, I focused on Freddie instead. Despite his antics, he still looked a little pale and worn out. I felt that so much right now. “Why is Liam starving you?”
“Because I got you donuts, Hellspawn.” That dragged my attention to Liam as he shifted to the side and revealed four stacked white rectangle boxes. Rome emerged from the kitchen with two huge mugs and he carried one over to me.
The smell of the coffee hit me. I hesitated. The last time I’d actually drunk any coffee, I’d thrown it back up. Then again, I’d puked up a lot the last few days and kind of lost track. My stomach didn’t protest, so when Rome handed it to me, I cradled the mug.
“Okay?” The quiet question asked so much.
“I’m here,” I promised and his whole expression relaxed.
“Donuts?”
“Coffee first—maybe.” I stole a look at Liam. Neither his watchfulness nor his folded arms betrayed anything. “I don’t want to get sick.”
Instead of being disappointed, he nodded. “Freddie, get cereal.”
“Oh man,” Freddie grunted. “It’s a good thing I like you Boo-Boo. I’ve been known to kill for donuts.”
“Well,” I said, still debating whether sipping the coffee would go well or not. Right now, I was actually enjoying how it smelled. “Would you use a weapon or your hands? I suppose a blunt object would work.” How had Bodhi put it? “How creative are you feeling? Or are you just in a hangry hurry?”
There was a beat of total silence. Rome frowned and Liam straightened, dropping his folded arms. “What the fuck?”
Freddie, though, he got it and his laughter was its own reward. Color flushed his cheeks as he shoved off the sofa. He pressed a kiss to my cheek as he passed. “You’re the fucking best, Boo-Boo. Never leave me again.”
It was the again that robbed it of some of its humor, but I nodded anyway. “I’ll do my best.” The twins were still staring at me though, and I lifted my shoulders. “It’s a long story.”
“We have time,” Liam said.
“Nope,” Freddie called from the kitchen. “You held out on the donuts, so no story for you. That’s our thing, right Boo-Boo?”
I had to bite back a smile because the cheer in Freddie’s voice was worth leaving Liam in the dark. At least for a little while.
“Sorry,” I said. “It’s our thing.”
That earned me a grunt from Liam and a shrug from Rome.
“Drink,” was Rome’s only response and now they were both watching me. Well, there was no time like the present, so I sipped the coffee. The first taste was like a gift. The second was near perfection. I could have cried when my stomach cooperated, but for now I settled with just sipping my coffee.
“Okay,” Liam said after Freddie returned with his cereal. “We need to talk.”
Dread shivered up my spine. That was one way to kill my appetite.
“Hellspawn?”
The questioning tone from Liam pulled my attention back to the warehouse. We were half a block from it, but he’d pulled over. It was a rainy, sunny day. It kind of fit my mood. The breaks in the clouds let enough sunshine in that it glared off the droplets on the windshield. The rain itself came in dribs and drabs. Like the sky couldn’t make up its mind.
Rain or shine?
Why choose? We could have both.
“We can go back,” Liam said. “You don’t have to do this today, if you aren’t up for it.”
From the moment he brought up going to the clubhouse, I’d been on some wild pendulum swinging ride that alternately trapped me and sent me soaring. I wanted to see the guys again. I’d missed them. Missed them more than I thought possible.
But I’d also chosen to leave, and maybe they didn’t want to see me. None of them acted like it was a problem. As far as I knew, they hadn’t called them yet either. My stomach bottomed out as I shifted to meet Liam’s gaze. Even if he wore sunglasses like I did, I could feel the weight of his stare. Without an ounce of rancor, he put the SUV in park.
Freddie had gone quiet and Rome just held my hand. I had managed to eat one donut, but I was all tied up in knots. Jasper and Vaughn—they’d need more than an I was sorry. They deserved more. Kellan and Milo too.
Hell, Liam deserved more right now, and I was having trouble finding it.
“It’s okay, Boo-Boo,” Freddie said into the quiet. “Even if they’re mad, they aren’t gonna be mad at you. They’re gonna be mad for you. They’re gonna want to fix it. Jasper’s gonna stomp around and growl. Vaughn will just want to hug you. Kellan’s gonna be salty, but he’s also gonna want to figure out how to fix it. They all will. Trust me.”
The last two words pulled my attention from Liam to where Freddie sat in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead.
“I’m the fuckup, I’ve fucked up more than everyone put together. They always forgive me, they always fight for me, and they always try to fix it.”
Tears burned in my eyes.
“That is all true, but they can also wait another day or two if you need the time. I can make sure they know you’re okay and we’ll keep you buttoned up until you are ready,” Liam added gently, and it was that gentleness that snuck in past the nerves. Normally, he’d push me, scold me, tease me, and had irritated me until I fought back, stood up for myself. He’d never treated me like I was fragile.
Broken wasn’t bad.
Not bad.
I glanced at Rome. “I’m here,” he reminded me. “So is Liam.”
“Yeah, Hellspawn, right here.”
“Me too,” Freddie said. “But I’m not going in there to tell them we got you back and you’re not ready to see them yet. Liam can do that. He volunteers for that job.”
A laugh escaped. “That’s mean, Freddie.”
“Eh,” Liam said. “Wouldn’t be the first time I pissed them all off.”
Reaching forward, I put my hand on Liam’s shoulder. “You don’t have to do that for me.” When he covered my hand with his, I didn’t pull away. “I’m just being a big chicken. I left—I left all of you.”