“You thought it was the right thing to do, Hellspawn.” Man, that sounded like it hurt for him to say. “You should never, ever do something like that again, but you did it to protect us. We do a lot of things to protect each other and it wouldn’t be the first time a choice we made pissed someone off.”
“No?”
“Nope.” He squeezed my hand. “Guess you really are one of us.”
The painful thud of my heart echoed in my ears, but they waited me out. Without a doubt, I could say no and we would go right back. I could do it. A safety net. I could run and hide. They wouldn’t blame me.
But the guys deserved so much better than that.
“Let’s go see them,” I said before I lost what little courage I could cobble together. “I need to see them.”
I needed to see them like I’d needed to see Freddie in Pinetree. Then Rome and Liam when we made it out. This was the last step to going home. To seeing the guys—and my brother. I tried to suck in a deep breath, but it was hard.
“Okay, Hellspawn. You got this.” Liam squeezed my hand again, then he put the SUV in drive and we were moving again.
My mouth was dry by the time the door rolled upward. It was surreal. If going back to Liam’s apartment had been strange, this was—bizarre. At the same time, I found myself leaning forward. Inside, Liam turned the SUV around and parked it facing outward. They all did that, out of habit. The darkness inside left me blinded after the glare, even with the sunglasses on. There were two big rigs parked inside.
“Here we go,” Liam said, shutting off the engine and getting out of the SUV.
He wasn’t alone, Freddie glanced back at me first though. “Catch your breath. I’m gonna go brag about how awesome I am.” Then he was out of the SUV before my first giggle could escape. I dragged the sunglasses off. The windows on the vehicle were tinted. I could see movement out there.
“I should get out of the car,” I said.
“When you’re ready.” Rome seemed perfectly content to just wait. “We can kiss if that will help.”
Another wave of laughter bubbled up through the fear choking me. The faint tilt to his lips made me smile for real. “Thank you.” Then before I could change my mind again, I brushed my mouth to his. “I’m ready.”
Getting out of the car was probably one of the hardest things I’d ever done. But Rome followed me. I wasn’t alone. My eyes had adjusted and I stared at the little cluster of guys around Liam and Freddie.
They were all there. I didn’t see past them.
Jasper.
Vaughn.
Kellan.
Milo.
“Son of a bitch,” Jasper swore and he strode straight toward me. It erased the last little flutters of fear. I met him halfway, crashing into him and letting out some soul deep breath as he hugged me to him. “Don’t you ever do that again,” he muttered against my neck, his arms half-crushing me but I didn’t care. “Shh, Swan, it’s okay.”
I held on and it took me a moment to even register that I kept saying I was sorry. “I’m sorry,” I repeated even as the hot tears I hadn’t wanted to shed slid down my cheeks. “I’m—” Jasper pulled back, clasped my face, and kissed me. The searing touch burned past everything else. It was like he breathed life back into me and I clung to him.
When he lifted his head, I met his wondering stare. The relief in his eyes stunned me. He brushed away the tears on my cheeks with his thumbs. I didn’t have any words except the litany of “I’m sorry,” but Vaughn was suddenly there.
Jasper blinked hard as he let me go and I swore there was dampness on his face, but Vaughn lifted me and cradled me to him. “Dove,” he exhaled the single word and it held a wealth of emotion I couldn’t even begin to define and I didn’t try. I just sank into it and wrapped my arms around his neck.
That voice. The soft croon of it. How it held so much comfort and kindness, that even when I didn’t know who he was, it helped. It made me feel better then and now. My feet weren’t even on the ground and I didn’t care. When Vaughn kissed me, I pressed my lips to his and just drank in the contact.
His strength was right there, a steadying force, a gift and foundation that wouldn’t give way. Broken wasn’t bad.
That refrain echoed within me as Vaughn pulled back to study me. A dozen questions lived in his eyes, but he gave voice to none of them. “Welcome home, Dove.”
The fist around my heart redoubled, but it wasn’t pain, no matter how much pressure it applied. Movement behind him pulled my attention and I found myself staring into Kellan’s eyes.
“Go see him,” Vaughn whispered against my ear. “He needs to see you too.”
Needed.
Yes, I needed to see them. When Vaughn set me down, Kellan just opened his arms and I walked right into them. Why I’d been so damn scared I didn’t know, but the lingering shadows of fear died as I clung to them, one after another. Kellan didn’t say a word, just held me close and I pressed my head to his chest.
Cars. Oil. Coffee. Tobacco. Ink. A citrusy-like smell that was in their shampoo. All these familiar scents just confirmed it for me. I really was home. It was my turn to pull back, but Kellan didn’t let me go far before he dipped his head.
“Waited too damn long for this,” he whispered. Then his mouth claimed mine and my heart forgot to beat. Or maybe the world hesitated. It was a sweet kiss, but it burned. It was a giving caress, but it demanded. Nothing about this was friendly and everything about it was open and possessive. Nothing hidden. I sighed against his lips.
I could live here, forever. As fanciful as the thought was, it didn’t seem so impossible. They would find me. They would bring me back. They would protect me.
They would keep me safe.
It was in every touch, every kiss, and every embrace. I just hadn’t understood it. If Jasper’s kiss had given me breath and Vaughn’s granted me strength, then Kellan’s filled me with understanding.
I didn’t have to be alone.
The feel of Kellan pulsed against me, even as he lifted his head. I had no idea what he was looking for when he gazed down at me, but I hoped he found it. Words just failed me. He wiped the tears from my cheeks, just like Jasper had.
Milo stepped into my line of sight and I braced for it. He didn’t want me around the guys. He’d been so adamant about sending me back. But I didn’t want to go then, and I didn’t now. More, I’d fight him if he made me.
The hesitation in his stance scored deep inside of me. I rubbed a circle against Kellan’s chest, but when I took a step, he let me go as I faced Milo.
“I’m back,” I said, finally finding my words again. “Don’t make me go. Please.”
Pain flickered over his tense, fierce expression. “Come here, Ivy.” I don’t know which of us moved first, but I was in his arms and hugging him tight. “You don’t have to go anywhere. I promise.”
Home.
My home.
Finally.
CHAPTER 38
EMERSYN
“I take congratulations and thank yous in the form of gift cards to my favorite dining spots and also the occasional beer,” Freddie said as he led us toward the clubhouse doors. Milo had an arm around my shoulders and didn’t seem in any hurry to let me go.