Tyff had never considered himself a heavy thinker, but at this moment he was storming with more thoughts than he had ever believed possible. He felt sure anyone could see the storm of emotion playing out across his skin because it was so intense.
Beyond all that, far heavier questions waited. Okay, so he had fears and doubts. The Knowing was supposed to take care of all of that. Wasn’t it?
If I have any reservations at all, the Knowing should soothe them. Anything I need to know is given to me for that express purpose—to join us in complete love and trust. So why isn’t it happening?
He couldn’t help but think of assassination plans and further sabotage by the resistance. What if this was a ploy? Could she be faking it all, just to get close? He was horrified by the idea, but it would explain why he didn’t feel the Knowing.
His energy only grew the longer he worked. Eventually he called the troops in and headed up to the training platform to begin aerial maneuvers. If the man was not responding to the hard work and exercise, it was time to let his dragon take some of the pressure.
As he stood on the edge of the platform and called the change upon him, he expected to feel an intense longing. He expected to be swept away, ripped from his moorings of doubt so he could run to her and be with her.
Surely, the dragon would Know.
As he let himself drop from the edge of the platform his wings opened and grew. He drifted, the change coming over him all at once, like a running wave.
His dragon was quiet. They were not at ease, but at the same time, they felt no urgency. Tyff threw himself into flying, pushing across the jet streams and lifting as high as he dared. He set the warriors to the most exhausting, daring moves they knew, so he could lose himself in the magic of movement.
He craved her. He longed for her. He just couldn’t feel her, and it was tearing him apart inside.
Chapter Eighteen
Renay drifted in sweet dreams. Libraries were in the skies. She could never have imagined such a thing! Bookshelves made of clouds where she could walk forever among some of the most amazing texts she had ever encountered.
She knew these were Preor books—handmade, with leather covers and beautifully decorated pages. She knew things about their politics and about their daily rituals. She that the library in the sky was just a fantasy, but it was one of the most incredible she had ever seen.
After what felt like hours of joy in the stacks of books, the sky began to change. It lightened slowly until it ran into the pale white of the medbay walls. Renay blinked her eyes open and smiled at Yazen who waited by the bed.
“Did you rest well,” he asked.
She nodded. “I had the most amazing dreams,” she said. “I was looking at Preor books and walking in the sky.”
Yazen looked up, sharply. “That’s a priestess dream, Renay. Do you remember any of the books?”
She shook her head. “No. Not really. I enjoyed looking at them, though.”
“I’ve spoken to Whelon again. These images you see are clearly a result of the Knowing. It’s not something you could fake. We just need to understand what’s going on with Tyff.”
Renay nodded, keeping her eyes down so he wouldn’t see her tears. He helped her sit up and brought over a tray of food for her. She ate slowly, feeling an ache in her heart that only got worse by the moment.
Where is he? It’s been all day. Hasn’t it? Why isn’t he here?
A movement by the door almost made her jump out of her skin, but it was only a slight, pretty woman. She gave Renay a big smile and a wave of love and comfort burst from her as she approached.
“I’m Dawn,” she said, gently. “I’m the heart master. You must be Renay?”
“Yes,” she answered. “What is a heart master, exactly?”
“Well, Yazen here is a healing master. That’s kind of what I do, too, but I work in wounds of the heart or the spirit.”
“Oh. So, you’re like a psychologist or something?”
“No,” Dawn laughed. “Well, maybe yes in the sense that I will talk to you about your feelings, but no. Psychologists aren’t usually psychic mediums.”
“What?” Renay asked incredulously. Before she could begin to wonder, the Knowing supplied the information. Heart masters could sense emotions. It was part of what made them what they were. Some were naturally talented, like Dawn. Others could learn it, just like any other skill.
“Okay,” Dawn took her hand. “How are you?”
“Don’t you know,” Renay asked, a little defensively. Dawn looked her in the eye and even though the look was gentle, there was steel behind it.
“You are hurting and frightened,” Dawn said. “You are worried about Tyff. But I wasn’t asking it in that way. I suppose I should have said, is there anything you need that you don’t have?”
“Oh.” Renay felt her cheeks coloring up. “No. I’m okay, thanks.”
Dawn laughed. “I get stuck in conversation sometimes. I’m still learning.”
“What are we going to do, Dawn,” Renay asked plaintively.
“I’ll have to look at Tyff when he gets here. I’ve asked around and done some research, but this has never happened before.”
“So they keep telling me.”
Dawn shrugged. “We’ve had a lot of unrest around here. Kind of nonstop actually. Tyff has a lot to handle right now. None of it should make much difference to the Knowing, though.”
“There’s so much I don’t understand,” Renay said, softly.
“It’s okay,” Dawn soothed her. “We’ll work it out.”
Renay suddenly sat up straight, her eyes focused on the door. She could hear his footsteps and she could sense him. It was Tyff. Only then did she realize it was the first time she’d sat upright since being rescued from the blast zone.
As he entered the room, she was aware of Yazen and Dawn watching them both carefully. She stretched out her hands and he came to her immediately, but all he did was take her hand. She squeezed it, hoping for more, but he stayed by the bed and made no attempt to kiss her.
I can see him staring at me! I know he wants me, so why doesn’t he just touch me?
“Tyff.” Dawn took a few steps toward him. “Can I take a look at you?”
“I’m not sure about this,” he muttered. “I feel a block in me, but I’m worried about what you might find.”
“It’s okay,” Dawn said softly. She stepped over to him and rested her gentle fingers on his arm. “I won’t hurt you, Tyff.”
“No,” he whispered. “But I might hurt myself.”
For a few minutes there was no noise. Yazen watched from across the room and Renay held tightly to Tyff’s hand. Dawn kept her touch on Tyff’s arm and frowned, tilting her head.
“Tyff, a dark web is around your heart,” Dawn said, finally. “You have a hatred of humans, something newly cultivated. Even though you came here for a mate, part of you has rejected the idea of having a human. The Knowing is indeed running through you, but you have blocked it from your heart.”
“Impossible,” Yazen snapped. “The Knowing blasts away all fear and doubt. Surely, they are coming together, even if it is slowly?”