“But I see your heart, Tyff Joi Renay. You are being torn in two because you refuse to respond the way the others have. I would not ask you to choose, not ever.”
“But—what about your life? Don’t you want to go back to it? I can’t go with you. I can’t, but I won’t let you go—”
“Shh.” She put a hand across his lips. “I feel like my entire life was preparing me for this moment. Like I was just biding my time, never quite committing to anything or anyone because I knew I had a greater purpose.”
“You would stay here with me?” He was incredulous.
“Try and stop me! I want to help you, Tyff. There is nothing in my life I can’t leave behind. I’ll miss my family, but I’ll see them again. Can war masters get time off for Christmas?”
“Christmas?”
“Hmm. I’ll have to do some explaining there, I guess. It’s an old pagan tradition, taken over by catholic religion, blown up into a massive social celebration over mid-winter.”
“Oh,” he said, happily. “A festival? Like a celebration of life well-lived?”
“Exactly.”
“Yes,” he grinned. “We get days off for things like that.”
“Excellent.” She leaned over and kissed him very gently. He kissed her back and they fell into each other, lips hot and wet as they pressed their bodies together. For a few moments it was all tangled limbs, hot teasing sliding into sensuality with no thought at all.
Heaven. Holy Syh incarnate.
She could feel his need, his urgency, but she could also feel the lack of the deep mental and emotional connection that would truly bind them together. He was right. They couldn’t mate until the Knowing had struck him.
She pulled back from the kiss, sighing in disappointment. His brows furrowed in worry as he watched her face.
“I’m sorry—”
“Stop apologizing Tyff,” she said, softly. “It isn’t your fault.”
“Then whose fault is it?” he asked, stubbornly. “I’m causing the problem here. Not you.”
“Oh, Tyff. It’s not that simple. The Knowing knows, far better than we do. It’s a mystical force that has purposes we can’t conceive of. Don’t try to understand it.”
He looked deep into her eyes, staring into her with reverence and wonder.
“You sound like you know more about it than I do.”
“Right now, I do.” She smiled. “There is a reason for it, I promise you. You just have to trust me.”
A shudder ran through his whole body, tensing his muscles. He looked away from her and she saw the doubt in his eyes.
“I don’t trust humans,” he said. “I want to trust you. Part of me does, fully, but the other part of me just can’t. I’ve seen too much death and pain.”
“Tyff.” She kept her fingers in his hair, gently sweeping it back from his forehead. “Humans don’t trust other humans. I don’t blame you at all. You don’t have to trust them. You don’t even have to trust me if you don’t want to. It’s enough that I trust you.”
He shook his head, desperately reaching for words. She could see the confusion in his eyes.
“How did you get so beautiful,” he breathed, “so full of love and knowledge?”
She grinned, leaning in to kiss him.
“I was made for you, my love.” Her breath touched his cheek. “You don’t need to do anything at all, except let me love you.”
He twisted his arms around her and pulled her close until they twined together on the bed. Renay lost herself in the warmth and power of his body, his strong hands and warm mouth. Kissing him sent thrills of joy through her entire body and she knew why she had never been interested in men before this.
She had been waiting for him. Her entire life had been just waiting for him. Now that they were together, it was time for her to truly live and give him the purpose and courage to do the same.
Chapter Twenty-One
It hurt him to leave her, but he knew his duty was calling. Even though he could offer her no wise words, she smiled and told him to go. Yazen had brought her breakfast and assured him she was well, so he dragged himself from her, literally feeling as if he were being torn in two.
He couldn’t believe her insight as well as how sweet and gentle she was. The more he got to know her, the more he adored her. He couldn’t believe she was willing to walk away from her life to follow him.
He jogged through the halls, heading for the training rooms for the morning drill. When he arrived, he organized the warriors into ranks and had them run and jump in sequences to test their reflexes and their wings. A Preor’s wings were useful for more than just flight. In the human shape they gave elevation to jumps, weight to every move and were weapons in and of themselves.
He worked himself harder than usual, and this bled out into his troops. They could not be seen doing less than their utmost, especially if the newly appointed war master was working himself to his limit. Tyff lost himself in the burn of his muscles and the rush of air in his lungs as he worked himself for at least four hours straight.
He almost called the teams straight up to the training platform when he caught sight of some of the younger warriors panting, their wings drooping. He called a halt for breakfast and felt bad all over again. He hadn’t been watching his men properly. He couldn’t be an effective war master if he was constantly caught up on himself! Without even realizing it, he was falling into the trap the others had blundered into.
He imagined what it might be like to have Renay by his side. He didn’t know enough about her yet to think about how she might help, but just the idea of having her in the training room lifted his spirits. He tried to look forward to that and leave aside his troubles, but he couldn’t quell the conflict in his heart.
He ate his breakfast quietly, brooding in the corner of the room. Choler tried to engage him in conversation but eventually gave up and went through the day’s tasks instead. This comforted Tyff and he started to relax, his mind and body sinking into a familiar routine.
Immediately after flight training, they had to head for the dock for the most daunting of tasks Tyff would ever have to do—the welcoming of human teams onto the ship.
He bristled under the skin at the idea of his new training programs being disrupted in this way, but he knew he could not avoid this. He wished fervently that Renay was with him, not just to give him confidence but to put the humans at ease. As the first shuttle carrier arrived in the dock, he felt both his heart and guts twisting with nervousness.
I can charge down a whole army with nothing but my sword and wings. But a ship full of humans is proving my toughest challenge.
He tried to smile welcomingly but he was afraid he was only grimacing while showing his teeth. If he wanted to improve human-Preor relations, he had to do better than this.
The ramp folded down and humans dressed in plain black jumpsuits crowded through the doorway. They all carried gear bags, ready for an extended stay. They looked around curiously and Tyff tried to find some inspiring words.
“Welcome to the world of tomorrow,” Penelope crowed in a singsong voice. “That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, step into a future where dragons are real, and they want to marry you.”