Remy had a speech issue since she’d started talking. Ms. Jenny was the speech pathologist that Ensley and Micah took her too. According to Ms. Jenny, Remy’s speech was getting better, but it would take time. This was her ‘school’ right now.
They thought she had some troubles with her ears, not hearing correctly. She was supposed to get tested here soon. I’d need to remember to ask Ensley when that was.
For now, we either roll with it or sometimes repeat back to her what she’d say. But when we do that she wrinkles her nose at us. And since she’s spoiled rotten, she usually gets away with it.
“Well. I’m comin’ to Ms. Jenny’s to let Andy know you will never have boyfriends.”
A chuckle escaped me, and I saw Dryerson’s lip tip. He might think it’s funny, but I had no doubt he would be talking to Micah about Andy.
The way he was so protective over Remy set butterflies to my darn heart every time. Which brought me back to, “What are you doin’ here?”
Dryerson gave Remy a little playful shake and set her on the ground. “Goin’ skatin’?” he teased, not answering me.
“Shez Widgit.”
“Lucky you,” Dryerson said softly. He knew what this entailed.
I cleared my throat, getting his attention and prompting him to speak. “Micah called and said the little bug and you were hangin’ out tonight. Thought I’d come hang out too.”
“Yay!!!” Remy called you. “Youz bez Ranch.”
“Well, there’s a shocker,” I said under my breath. Branch was the main boy Troll.
Lucky for dear old Dryerson Remy didn’t have much for Branch for him to dress up in, but what she did have was hilarious.
“Great!” Dryerson said as Remy handed him a black dunce cap. Yes, it had a tall point and was painted black to represent Branch’s hair. I burst out laughing as he put it on his head.
“I make this shit look good,” he remarked, turning in a circle with his arms out wide. Yes. He did make the hat look good, but I wasn’t going to give that to him.
We played Trolls for hours, or at least it felt like hours, before Remy decided she was hungry.
Standing up on the skates, I rolled to find a good place to land so I didn’t get a Troll up my butt, when my foot went out from beneath me and I started to go down. Definitely not as graceful as I’d planned.
Dryerson was there, his arms coming under my armpits and lowering me to the floor gently. Yeah. He was something else.
“Thanks.” My voice was quiet. Was I embarrassed? I shook my head and started taking off the skates.
“Any time, beautiful.”
Remy eyed us suspiciously. “Annee Kadee, is hez yours boysfiend?”
My heart stopped beating there for a moment. Actually, the world seemed to stop as my mind raced. If only I’d made different choices in life, maybe that could be true. Maybe I could have someone as sweet, caring, and protective as Dryerson at my side.
Heck, maybe even get married and have kids of our own. The four of us, Micah, Ensley, Dryerson and I would be melded together like glue. I’d actually have a family who cared just as much about me as I did them.
Don’t get me wrong, I knew my sister loved me. It was a different kind of family I was talking about. The one where you belonged. You were wanted. You were appreciated. You were loyal. You’d always have someone there to fall back on no matter what. Yeah, that kind of family.
Inside I felt my heart beginning to shatter. One slow piece at a time, falling away into nothingness. As much as I’d love to fall into that fantasy, I knew it could never be. I’d failed my sister in the worst way and needed to pay for that.
Penance.
Back home penance meant everything. It was one way of punishment when we did things wrong. Or something that the elders or our parents didn’t like. Which was a lot of the time. It was how they kept us in line. How they showed us who was really in power and who we should bow down to.
They confused punishment for penance all the time, but I thought they knew better. They just thought the word penance was better than telling people you get hit with the metal end of a belt.
To me penance was voluntary. It was a way for you to show that you were truly sorry for whatever you’d done. It was using your judgment to say this was wrong and I’m sorry for the choices I made.
And not like Catholics who have to say a number of Hail Mary’s and their sins go away.
There would be no words that could express how sorry I was for leading Ensley down the wrong path. It would be actions. One of those actions was happiness. I didn’t deserve it because I almost caused Ensley to lose hers.
“Let’s order pizza.” Dryerson called to us from the kitchen. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even know he’d left the room. Remy was out of her Troll suit and running out the door, yelling ‘peezza’.
My head was a seriously scary place. No one wanted to visit there.
Getting the skates off, I got up and moved into the kitchen. “Sounds good to me.” Money was always tight, but I had a small slush fund and buying pizza wouldn’t hurt.
“What do ya want on it? Pepperoni, mushrooms, sausage, black olives…” His words cut off as he started laughing all the while looking at me. I had no idea what he was laughing about.
“Hairs.” Remy clued me into what was wrong. That darn wig. Rolling my eyes, I took it off my head, fluffed my hair, and put it back in Remy’s room.
“So funny.”
“Babe. It was.”
Babe. Why did he call me that sometimes? Or beautiful? I loved when he called me Wild Kat, though. He’d say I was a wild cat, but I didn’t feel that way.
Shaking my hair, I made my way to the kitchen island. “I’ll eat whatever you two like.”
“Well, she likes pepperoni, and I like everything. I can get Remy a small one and then we can share the big one. So what do you like on it?”
“Everything sounds good.” And it did. I wasn’t trying to yank his chain or anything. It was really true.
“Katie, you can get whatever you want.” He tried again, and I let out a huge huff of air.
“Growing up we didn’t have the luxury of ordering pizza. Everything we ate was handmade and in very large quantities. Most of the time it wasn’t so good. So truly, I’m happy with everything.”
“Whyz youz has noz peezza?” Remy asked, and I bent down to her level, looking her right in the eye.
This was seriously a job for Ensley to tackle, but I proceeded. “When I was little, my mom and dad wouldn’t let us have pizza. But that was a long time ago and,” I put some extra emphasis in my words as I said, “tonight we get to have it!”
Remy eyed me curiously. I swore that kid was sharp as a tack, even with her speech delayed.
Once she let me out of her stare down, I scooped her up and started tickling her belly. Her laughter was from the angels.
“Everything and pepperoni. Got it,” Dryerson said with a smile in his voice.
“My card is in my purse right here.” I nodded to the other end of the island.
“Good place for it. Don’t need it, though.”
“I’m the one babysitting. I should pay.”
“And I’m a man. Whenever there is food, a check, or us together, I pay.”