“Yeah, if they don’t get over the line, they die too.”
We got to the third episode when Katie fell asleep. Truth be told, I loved rubbing her feet and even watching whatever the hell this was; she was comfortable enough to fall asleep with me.
Turning off the show, part of me was twisted and actually wanted to finish it, but I didn’t. Instead, I focused on Katie.
She was adorable in sleep. Peaceful. Serene. Happy. I wished like all hell she felt that all the time. Not just when her eyes were closed.
Picking her up bridal style, her head landed on my chest. I couldn’t help myself. I kissed the top of her head and smelled her hair. Closing my eyes briefly, I remembered a time when it was a given that I’d be smelling her hair. Now it was a luxury.
Carrying her to the guest bedroom, I was able to maneuver her on the bed. Her head touched the pillow, and she roused, looking up at me and smiling softly. “Is this a dream, Dryerson?”
Good to know she was dreaming about me. “Nah, it’s just me. Get some sleep.”
She rolled over and tucked her hand under her face and went back into a deep sleep.
Everything inside of me screamed to lay down with her. To hold her in my arms. To keep her safe, happy. But I knew if she woke up and found me there, she’d be pissed and it would only set us back. We weren’t going back anymore. We were only moving forward.
I left the room and closed up the house, turning off the lights, TV and setting the alarm for nighttime.
I stopped at Remy’s door and opened it, seeing the little princess sound asleep. Her arms were above her head, and she was in a very awkward position with her legs bent at angles. Whatever it was, she appeared to be comfortable.
I closed the door and went into Katie’s room. The chair in the corner was a recliner, and I took that. A small groan left me as I sat and saw my girl fast asleep. The moonlight came in through the blinds, illuminating her hair.
The soft inhales and exhales were a rhythm all their own. Listening to them, I fell asleep.
Stop! No! Don’t touch me!
The words woke me up instantly. Thinking they were from me at first, I quickly realized they were not.
Katie was thrashing in the bed. Her body turning this way and that. Her arms attempting to protect her. “Stop!” she screamed, and it was the scariest sound I’d heard in my life. And I’d seen a lot of shit in my day. It was because it was her.
I leaped out of the recliner, not bothering to put the footrest down, and made my way over to her. Knowing not to sit on the bed, I kneeled on the floor next to her and reached out to touch her face.
She tried desperately to move.
“Shhh…. It’s Dryerson, baby. You’re okay, Katie. You’re safe here with me.”
Her body jolted in a weird way, and I kept reassuring her.
“You’re having a dream. Can you wake up for me, Wild Kat?”
Katie’s eyes fluttered open as she bolted upright in the bed, her hand going to her hair to push it back. She looked around the room in a panic, and I reached over and turned on the side lamp so she could see. She wasn’t there. She wasn’t in that hellhole.
“Dry?” she asked, looking down at me still sitting on the floor.
“Yeah, Wild Kat. It’s me. You were having a nightmare.”
She rubbed her hands over her face. The dream still had ahold of her, so I gave her a few minutes to come back to me.
“Sorry,” she whispered so softly, if I weren’t this close to her I wouldn’t have heard it.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I reached over and pulled her hands away from her face and clasped them in mine. She didn’t protest. “Can you breathe in and out deep for me?”
She appeared to be coming down from a panic attack, and breathing sometimes helped. It helped in the Marines when my time there became too much at times.
Slowly, she inhaled and then exhaled.
Inhaled. Exhaled.
She did this for a bit, and I could feel the tension in her hands begin to relax, but I didn’t let her go.
“Thanks. I’m better.” She didn’t make eye contact with me, telling me she was embarrassed. Well. fuck that shit.
“Eyes on me,” I ordered gently. It took her a few beats to reply, but when she did her beautiful blue orbs looked back at me. “There is nothing to be embarrassed about here, Katie. Seen this shit more times than I can count. Even had it after a few missions that didn’t end so well. You have to remember that you’re a survivor. Whatever those fuckers did to you, you survived. You fought. You didn’t give up.”
She shook her head slightly. “I wanted to give up. I wanted them to cut my throat and end it all.”
Her confession hit me so hard in the chest it took my breath away. A life without Katie in it? What would Remy do? Or Ensley? Or fuck, me?
“But you didn’t. You’re here, and they are frying in Hell.”
Her head fell. “We were always told that if you’re burned you go to Hell, but do you really think they did?”
“Fuck yeah they are. Don’t ever think differently.”
She exhaled deep. “I need to go wash my face and get the sweat off.” Her legs swung over the mattress. “You’ll be here when I get back?” she asked.
A smile graced my lips. “Nowhere I’d rather be.” On a nod, she went into the attached bathroom.
Fuck, it was worse than I’d thought. Her demons were coming at her in the light of day and in her nightmares. I wondered if she ever had a break from them. Demons had a way of holding on to the soul sometimes, and I didn’t want that for Katie.
Hell, I didn’t want any of this for Katie. I wanted her to be happy. This right here didn’t come close.
I remained knelt down on the floor when she came back in and stood next to me. Looking up, she was so gorgeous, and she didn’t see it in herself. I wished she did. I wished she saw what I did.
“Will you lay with me?” she asked, turning to sit her bottom on the bed.
Fuck, that was music to my ears. “Of course.”
“Where were you before I woke up?”
I stood and nodded to the chair. “There.”
“You could’ve slept on the couch. It probably would’ve been more comfortable,” she replied, moving into the bed and under the covers once again.
“But if I were in there, I wouldn’t have heard you.” Her head laid on the pillow as I turned out the light and moved to the other side of the bed. I only thought for a second before I did it. I pulled her into my body, wrapping my arm around her and fitting her to me, her head resting on my chest along with her hand. She didn’t protest.
I let all of my heat envelop her, hoping to relieve some of her fears.
She didn’t protest. Instead, she laced her fingers through mine and held them to her chest. A chest that was thumping rapidly. Fucking loved this.
“You’re safe, Katie. I’ve got you.”
“I don’t really know much about you, Dryerson. Why is that?”
A soft chuckle escaped me. “Because you haven’t asked.”
Her body stilled, getting rigid. “I haven’t asked?”
“Nope.” And she hadn’t in all this time we’d known each other; that was the one thing she’d never done. Find out about me. She knew the surface, but did she really know the real me?