She turned in my arms. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. You must think I’m a selfish twit.”
Even in the darkness, the moonlight lit up her face that appeared horrified. “Nah. Get comfortable and ask away.”
16
KATIE
I’d never asked him about his life. What the hell kind of person was I? This man had been inside me. He was in my niece’s life, my sister’s life, and I knew nothing. All because I didn’t ask.
To say I felt like a moron was a huge understatement. I’d been so wrapped up in my life, my troubles, my feelings and pushing him away from me that I didn’t even get to know Dryerson on a friend level.
Because that was what I wanted with him, right? To be friends. To both be in my sister and Remy’s lives without us actually being together.
It didn’t speak very kindly about me as a human being. He deserved more, but I already knew that.
It made me feel even worse in that moment. Unfortunately, I was the jerk in this situation, and I hated myself for it.
It was time to rectify that mistake.
“What’s your full name?” I asked, starting off slow. Knowing his first and last, I had no clue what his middle was.
“Benjamin Joseph Dryerson,” he answered without pause.
“Did the girls in school call you Benny?” I teased, feeling his chest move in a chuckle.
“Actually, most of the school did. It just stuck, and I didn’t give a fuck. Then, in the Marines, we went by our last names, and I carried that one through. So Dryerson it is.”
This made me smile. “Can I just say that Benny is seriously cute. I may have to start calling you that.”
He squeezed me and replied, “Honestly, you do that and I’d be the happiest fuckin’ guy in the world.”
My breath caught and my gut got tight. “Why?”
“Because that would mean you let me in.” Why did I ask when I knew this was going to be the answer? Layer by layer this man was undoing me. This time I did it to myself. I normally wasn’t a fisher, but with that question I felt like one. Fishing for information and confirmation. That wasn’t right.
“Dry…” I let it lay in the quietness of the room but said no more. Pushing him away was harder with each second that passed.
Dryerson wasn’t having any of my breaks, though. “Next question.”
A smirk crossed my lips. He always knew how to get me to move on and not dwell. It was as if he were in my head, knowing my thoughts. Continuing with the questioning, I asked, “Where are you from?”
“Illinois.”
This surprised me. “Really? Didn’t pick you for a Chicago man.”
I could hear his smile in his tone. “Illinois isn’t just Chicago. Everyone seems to think that. Yes, Chicago is a big city and has over two million people, but there’s an entire down state that is always forgotten. It’s nothing like the hustle and bustle of Chicago.”
“I’ve never been to Illinois.” Heck, I hadn’t been anywhere except home and Sumner.
“You’re not missing much. Cornfields everywhere. We lived out in the country, not close to the city at all. We made the most of it. I really liked living there.”
“We?” I was curious to know who this we was. I didn’t know anything about his family.
“My mom, dad, and sister.”
“You just have the one sister?” The question blurted out before I thought about it. Not everyone grew up the way I did, and sometimes I forgot that fact.
“Nowhere near as many as you. One older sister who still lives in Illinois.” We both chuckled.
“Wow. One?” This time it was a tease.
His hand came up to grip my hand on his chest and tightened in mine. “Yeah, but both my sister and I are adopted.”
This made me still again. No one would ever put up a child for adoption at home. One of the moms or kids would just take over if need be or put one of us kids in charge. Not that adoption was bad or anything like that. It was more of they didn’t want to let anyone out of their clutches. And with that, I didn’t know much about adoption or the reasonings for it.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, we don’t have the same birth parents; at least, that’s what mom and dad told us. We don’t know who they are.” His chest rose and fell steadily.
“Did you ever think of finding them?”
“Nope. I have my mom and dad. They gave me a good life. The rest is just biology.” The conviction in his tone burned bright.
“You’re the first person I’ve met who’s adopted. But wait for it … I don’t know that many people.”
To this, he laughed. I loved hearing that sound. Deep and throaty. Perfect.
“I really don’t think much about it and don’t tell many people because my mom is my mom and my dad is my dad. You, Micah, and my service paperwork are the only ones that know.”
My heart thumped in my chest, and I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. He let me in. Me. Of all people. He trusted me with this information. Sure, Ensley trusted me, but nothing like this. A man. Heck, a man like Dryerson trusting me was a high I never wanted to end.
I couldn’t help but feel elated.
“Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“When it comes to you, I’m an open book.”
Another tingle in my heart. Dang, he was killing me.
The next question was for my benefit because I needed to know. “Why do people put their kids up for adoption? Not to sound like a jerk, but at my home that was never an option. What is it like out here?”
He didn’t even need to think about it. “It could be many reasons. The parents were young, or they couldn’t provide for the child. Or it was a single mom who wanted her child to have a better life. It could even be that the mom or dad was hooked on drugs and couldn’t take care of a child. All reasons are valid. Why I was put up for adoption, I don’t know and don’t care. I love the parents and sister life afforded me. And no, you’re not a jerk. I’d rather you ask me than just go assuming things. Facts are always the best.”
The tingles magnified, and butterflies started their fluttering. This man …he… I cut off the thought and needed to move on.
“Why did you choose the Marines?”
He didn’t skip a beat and let the adoption information drop. I loved how he knew me so well. “Because they’re the baddest badasses. There was no choice.”
“I’m not asking you about your service. If you want to tell me sometime, that’s fine. But Ensley told me that Micah doesn’t like talking too much about his time overseas, and I won’t push you to talk to me about it.” Even if I really wanted to know.
That tidbit of a throwaway comment Ensley gave me months ago came into use now. I wouldn’t push it.
“There are things I won’t talk about, and there are things I will. Why don’t we save that for another time?” he said on a squeeze.
“Sounds good to me.” I felt relieved he took me off the hook with that one. Ensley talked about PTSD and other stuff. That was all really deep, and now wasn’t the time for that kind of conversation. Especially since he was trying to calm me down from my dream.