Letting the two of them head for the house without him, Declan hung back. He took a moment to let her words sink in. As he closed his eyes, a breeze ruffled his hair, and his skin prickled with awareness. For one vivid, startling moment, he could see Kurt in his mind’s eye, as clearly as if he were standing right in front of him. He even got a whiff of his distinctive scent—that hint of pine and woodsmoke, of a man who lived outdoors.
Weirdest thing of all? Kurt was giving him one of those rare smiles that made him feel like he’d done something good and meaningful. And for the first time in years, Declan felt like he was in the right place. Like all the pieces had come together in just the way they were meant to be.
“I won’t let you down.”
“Won’t let who down?” Phinny’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
The vision had been so real, he hadn’t realized he’d said it out loud. Laughing, he wrapped his arms around her. “Kurt. I just talked to the staff and told them their jobs were safe, that I’d keep things going just as their boss intended.”
“You’re the boss now.” When his smile faltered, she said, “That’s scary, I know.” She slipped her hands under his shirt and ran them up his chest. “Better you than me.” She gave him a teasing smile that quickly faded. “Hey, I need to talk to you.”
“Sure. I have to meet with Hank, but I’ve got a few minutes. What’s up?”
Staff continued to trickle out of the bunkhouse, and she tugged on his arm. “Let’s go inside.” She reached for his hand. “You’re meeting with the lawyer tomorrow, right? About the team ownership?”
Something seemed off with her. He wasn’t used to seeing that troubled furrow on her forehead. “Yep.” He brought their hands to his mouth and kissed the back of hers. Just from being near her, everything in him expanded, opened, making more room for the crazy emotion roiling through him. He stepped ahead of her and opened the door.
Once inside, she turned to him. “Are you happy with your decision? To quit coaching and own a team?”
So, that’s what’s worrying her. It was time to tell her.
Fear squeezed his heart, but he pushed through it. They’d both made sacrifices to be together. He had to do this. He had to step over that invisible line he’d drawn to keep himself…what? Safe? To keep his heart protected?
Too late. If she left him, he’d be devastated. She’d broken through, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. There was no one else in the world like this woman.
My woman.
Swooping her off her feet and into his arms, he carried her into the living room.
“Declan.” Legs dangling, hands clasped around his neck, she laughed. “What’re you doing?”
He turned around, dropped onto the couch, and positioned her on his lap. “I—” His throat closed up. Lowering his forehead to hers, he breathed in her sweet scent, let it work its magic. It wove through him, calming him, giving him strength. He breathed until he was ready to be the fearless man she deserved. “You asked me if I’m happy with my decision. I’m happy with you. Phinny.” He sucked in a sharp breath. “I love you.”
Her eyes flared, then glistened.
“I’ve always been grateful for my life. Sam was good to me, and I grew up with a great group of friends. And even if hockey didn’t work out the way I’d expected, I was grateful to have a career on the ice. Turns out I’m not only good at coaching, I like it. But happy?” He shook his head. “I only understood what the word meant when I met you. I love you, Phinny. So, when you ask me if I’m happy with my decision, the answer’s yes. I’m happy with my decision because I get to be with you.”
Her pained expression made him wonder what he was doing wrong. Except…maybe he’d made it sound like he was giving up something to be with her. “Forget my career. That means nothing in the scheme of things. Phinny, all I want is to be with you. I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to see your smile and hear your laugh. I’m happy, Phinny. I’m happy with you.”
She pulled out of his hold and climbed off his lap to sit beside him. Knees drawn to her chest, arms hugging them, she’d curled into a ball.
Oh, fuck. A chill gripped his spine. She looked sick with remorse. “What? Just say it.” If she told him this had been nothing but a fun time for her, that she’d gotten carried away with all the strange newness here, he’d be the biggest fool on the planet. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“Declan, I took the job.”
His body went hard. “What job?” He needed her to spell it out.
“With the Lumley Foundation. I had to.”
“Okay.” The strangest sensation crept over him. He could actually feel himself shutting down. Don’t do that. Listen to her. “What happened?”
“Andrew called. He told me he’s in a bad financial situation. If the Lumleys cancel his contracts, he’ll have to sell his assets. That means our home, the country house…everything.”
“So, he wants your money?”
“No, but he needs me to take the job I asked for, so the Lumleys don’t turn against us. Declan, they have the power to ruin him.”
Every now and then, he had a dream where he jumped off a cliff, only to realize he’d forgotten his parachute. That’s what this feels like.
Snatching a throw pillow, she held it on her lap. “My mum would be penniless. She’ll lose all her friends. Her entire world.”
“Okay.” The ground came up fast, and he braced for impact.
“I can’t do that to them. As much as I don’t want to go back, I can’t just walk away and leave my parents twisting in the wind. You understand, right?”
He thought he was nodding. He was trying to move his head. But he couldn’t be sure.
“And so, I told him I’d come back and do the job this one last time, but after that, I’m moving here permanently. I don’t want…” She reached for him. “Declan, I love you, too. Everything you said, it’s exactly what I feel. You make me so happy, and it’ll only be until next May. You can come visit me, and of course, I’ll come here. I’ll spend lots of time here.”
Oddly, the impact never came. Instead of landing, he…floated. He looked where her hand connected with his arm and marveled at the fact that he didn’t feel it.
“I mean, I really only need to be in London for meetings and…well, I mean, there’s lots of events. That’s where I chat people up and find out what they have to offer. Ugh. Forget it. That’s not the point.” She straddled his lap and cupped his jaw. “Declan, I love you. I love you so much, and I want to be with you. I want to stay here, but I have to do the right thing.” She grabbed his hand and put it on her thigh. “Why are you not talking to me? Why are you just sitting there? I’m not breaking up with you. We won’t be long distance for long. The ball’s in May, but really, once I get the items lined up, most of my job’s over. From then on, I can work from here.”
He gave himself an internal shake. “Right.” He got up, taking her with him, and set her down. “Look, I get it.” He didn’t know why he’d spaced out like that. “It’s no big deal. You can’t do anything to jeopardize your stepfather’s livelihood.” He started off.