I love him.
I want to spend my life with him.
I’m worth the risk.
I’m worth it.
“But it’s something you’ll have to figure out on your own. And here’s the good news. When you do, I’ll be waiting for you. That’s how strong our love is.” And then, she quietly closed the door, grabbed the handle of her suitcase, and headed down the stairs.
Chapter Twenty-One
With the puck in the curve of his stick, Declan tore across the ice. Cold air blowing through his mask, his body hot underneath all the padding, he slammed into the Renegades’ defenseman, skimmed around a pack of enforcers, and sailed toward the net. He cocked his arms back and fired.
Chest pumping, adrenaline spiking, it took a minute for him to register the applause and whistles. He pulled off his helmet to find the parents in the bleachers giving him a standing ovation.
Ozinkski skated past. “Remind me again why you’re not playing?”
“I ran out of guys to beat.”
The first line defender threw his head back and laughed. But Declan had gone a little nuts there. He’d meant to show a technique, but somehow, he’d gotten a wild hair up his ass, and he’d wound up taking off with the puck.
Yeah, it wasn’t a wild hair. It was Phinny. She’d been gone three weeks, and he missed her so damn much. And he couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said.
Now, everything’s changed.
You’re never going to be dead inside again because I live there.
She was right. Now that he knew what it felt like to have her in his life, there was no going back. There was just the constant ache of missing her.
And hating himself for hurting her.
The night he’d callously broken up with her, he’d heard her crying. He’d tried to stay away, tried to meet Jaime at a bar in town, but he couldn’t do it. He’d wound up standing outside her door and listening to her sob so hard she was gasping for breath.
And what had he done? Instead of pulling her into his arms, instead of fixing the damage he’d caused, he’d walked away.
It felt like a puck had slammed him right in the chest, blowing a chunk of his heart out.
Knowing he had to calm the fuck down, he skated off the ice and nearly collided into Glori.
She carried a stack of boxes. “For a second there, I thought you were Kurt.”
He set his stick down so he could relieve her of them. “Are these the granola bars?”
“Yep. I only made five hundred because I’m retired, and I’m not going back to work.” She smiled at him. “I’m not.”
“Uh huh. Sure.” He knew she was teasing, but he couldn’t get into it. Because he’d hurt the woman he loved. He’d done the right thing—they wouldn’t have lasted. He’d just handled it terribly.
“I heard your girlfriend went back to England with a satchel stuffed with twenties.”
“She did.” He didn’t like what her tone implied. “She’s got a job there that she couldn’t bail on.”
“So, she’s not coming back?”
He shrugged. Now that she’d been back in her element for three weeks, her bank account loaded, was she wondering how she ever could’ve thought she’d be happy as a clerk in a store in Wyoming?
That’s how strong our love is.
No, he knew her better than that. She was waiting for him to pull his head out of his ass.
Glori set her hands on her hips. “I’m surprised. After everything she learned about her dad and her family, I thought for sure she’d want to keep the ranch.”
“She did. She just thought…” Whatever. He didn’t need to rehash the story.
“She thought what?” She folded her arms across her chest. “I’d like to know her logic.”
She thought we’d be together. That we’d live there…happily ever after. “From the time I was a kid, I wanted to build a training facility for hockey players. Like in Canada where local families sponsor the players in junior hockey? I wanted to do that on Kurt’s land.”
“I remember. Didn’t you ask him about it after Sam died?”
He nodded. “He said I never finished anything so why would he think I’d follow through with that?”
“Huh. Maybe that’s because you never found anything worth finishing. Maybe jobs aren’t as important to you as family or roots. Maybe Kurt knew that.” She searched his features. “Sounds like Phinny did, too.”
Fuck. He really didn’t need to talk about this. He’d made peace with his decision. “Maybe, but long distance doesn’t work.”
“Who says?”
“I do, okay? I’m going to own a damn NHL team and run Kurt’s ranch. When do you think I have time to fly to London and hang out with her? Even if she came for a visit, I wouldn’t get to see her once the season started. You know what it’s like. You dated Kurt for years.”
She arched a brow and folded her arms across her chest.
“Look, it doesn’t matter. You know as well as I do that she doesn’t belong here. And now with all that money…” Except, of course, she’d been happy here without make-up and spa days. She’d never cared that her clothes came from a big box store. “She grew up with extreme wealth. It’s what she’s used to. And she was only in Calamity a month. It’s not her real life.” Come on. Anyone can see that.
“Sure, when I first met her, I had the impression she was a socialite, but she worked her tail off here. And she seemed gung-ho about that store of hers. I think maybe you’ve got it backwards.”
“What do you mean?”
“You think she can’t wait to get back to the balls and butlers and the shopping sprees at Harrod’s, but maybe she’s had a lifetime of that and coming here showed her that none of it made her happy.”
She was right, and it made his heart beat out of control. “Yeah, maybe. But we’re too different. Pretty soon, she’ll forget all about us.”
I’ll be waiting for you. That’s how strong our love is.
He grew restless, anxious, and wanted to get back out on the ice.
“Well, if she does, that’s your fault.”
He shot her a look. What?
“She wanted to stay here. She wanted to be with you. So, if she forgets about her dream of opening a store here, that’s because you pushed her to find something else.” Glori watched him for a moment with a thoughtful expression. “But I guess it’s a moot point since you obviously don’t love her enough.”
“I fucking love her.” Shit. His outburst drew the attention of the people sitting near them in the stands. Loving her had never been the issue. It was knowing she wasn’t meant for this world.
She broke into a satisfied smile. “I know.” But then, she grew serious. “Look, it’s not too difficult to figure out that it feels safer to walk away before you get hurt. But when you look ahead to a future without her, do you see yourself ever finding this kind of happiness again?”
“No.” Of course not.
“Then, what are you doing? Quit hiding behind excuses.” She grabbed the boxes back. “Get your ass on a plane and go get your woman.”