I narrowed my eyes, my heart still racing in my chest, but I did as she’d asked and sank into the chair.
This time, Linda didn’t sit beside me. Slowly lowering her willowy figure, she squatted in front of me, bringing us to eye level. Capturing both of my hands between her warm palms, she squeezed my fingers and said, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. You’re an incredible woman who has survived so much. Even though it doesn’t seem like it now, I have full confidence that you’ll not only get through this but come out stronger on the other side. In the meantime, I want you to know that, no matter what happens, I’m here for you in any and every way you could possibly need me.”
My chest warmed, and my lips performed what should have been an impossible task of smiling. “I know, Linda. I really appreciate it.”
“But before we go any further, there’s something I need you to know.” She swallowed hard and offered me a weak smile. “No one abandoned you, Remi. Least of all Bowen. And I would know because I’m his mom.”
I wanted to be shocked. No, strike that. I was shocked, but I wasn’t surprised anymore. Another round of tears filled my eyes as I sat frozen in that chair.
Of course she was his mom. Ab-so-fucking-lutely. Just when I’d thought shit couldn’t get more fucked up, Bowen’s mother comes out of the woodwork. Quite honestly, I was almost pissed I hadn’t considered that angle.
My hands began to tremble, but I didn’t move away from her. There was no point. This was my life now.
“Wow,” I breathed, looking anywhere but at her face. I didn’t want to see him there. They didn’t look alike, at least not at first glance, but I was positive if I looked close enough I’d find her son staring back at me. My heart couldn’t handle it. Not right then. Maybe not ever again.
Jesus, even my own fucking brain was in on this ruse. When I’d thought about how much I needed a mother, my subconscious had led me straight to one. His.
“Say something,” she urged.
I shrugged, barely able to speak around the knot in my throat. “Is there anyone in my life who isn’t fucking lying to me?”
“You have every right to be upset, mad, pissed off, angry, livid, betrayed, you name it. They are all valid and justly deserved emotions. But please know, we couldn’t have abandoned you if we tried. Bowen was a wreck. I swear there were a lot of days where it felt like I had lost him too. But the whole family grieved your loss. You two never got married, but you were a Michaels all the same. After the crash, Tyson visited you every day when you were in the hospital. He drove back and forth between you and Bowen because he couldn’t stop worrying you might need something. Then when you came home, Cassidy, my daughter, left her family at home and moved in with Bowen for the first month. But every afternoon, she drove to The Rusty Nail and dropped off a home-cooked dinner with Mark. All your favorites.”
“Jesus.” I remembered those meals. Mark had told me people from the restaurant or old friends had dropped them off. They were always delicious. Obviously, they’d been handcrafted just for me.
Linda continued. “My husband, Bowen’s dad, still to this day has coffee with your father every Sunday morning. They’ve formed quite the friendship. One struggling dad to another. And then there’s me. I’ve been retired for a while, but the minute I heard you were starting PT, I got on the phone and secured a volunteer spot. I wasn’t lying when I told you how much I loved seeing you thrive. Any day I got to spend time with you was the best day of my week.”
I hung my head, confusion still thick inside it. “Why?” I croaked. “Why not just tell me?”
She rose to her full height and released my hands. “I could answer that for you. I could tell you all about my incredible daughter. Not daughter-in-law. Just daughter. How she was so filled with pain. Scared of absolutely everything and everybody. I could tell you how utterly heartbreaking it was to watch such a beautiful, vibrant young woman wither away right in front of our eyes. But there are not enough words in the English language to fully convey that kind of despair. You’re going to have to see all of that for yourself.”
“How?” I pleaded, finally looking up at her. “I don’t even know how to distinguish between what’s real and what isn’t anymore.”
“There are police reports from when you were missing. Medical records. Therapists. Rehabilitation centers. Documentation exists. You just have to look for it. The only way for you to truly understand why we did the things we did is you have to get to know Sally first.”
I sucked in a deep breath and stared up at her. She was right. I couldn’t trust anyone, but if what they said was true, then there would be proof out there. Proof that might actually allow me to put the puzzle pieces together to form a full picture.
Rising to my feet, I nodded. “Yeah. I can do that.”
“Good.” She smiled, and just as I’d feared, it was all Bowen.
My chest got tight as another flash from the past echoed in my head. His labored breaths and shaking hands that night in his truck after I’d gone to be with Katherine at the hospital. The way he’d clung to me, terrified beyond all reason.
“I thought I lost you,” he confessed.
“You’re not going to lose me. I swear,” I replied.
“I did though,” he said.
He’d lied to me. Manipulated me. Made me a fool. And I hated him for it mainly because I loved him so damn much that all I wanted was to go back to his place, curl into his arms, and let him take it all away.
I couldn’t have that. This wasn’t something that could be brushed under the rug. I owed it to myself to discover the truth. To figure out where I’d been and how I’d gotten there.
I was mad, hurt, confused, and shattered. But unlike Bowen, I would keep my promises.
“Will you…tell him I’m okay?” I asked Linda.
She slanted her head. “Are you?”
“No. But I’m not Sally. He doesn’t need to worry about me.”
“Of course, dear,” she whispered. “I’ll let him know.”
With that, I turned on a toe and left.
Numb, I drove back to my office. Bowen was gone, and the door was locked, which meant Aaron or Mark had been there and used their key. My purse was on the desk. My phone too. Bowen must have brought it from his house. I grabbed them both. It wasn’t even noon yet, but it had by far been the longest day of my entire life—at least that I could remember.
Now, I was faced with the overwhelming task of trying to piece together all the days I couldn’t.
Remi
My dad sighed. “Remi, sweetheart, what do you want me to say?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Anything except…” In an exaggerated, deep voice, I mocked, “‘We did what we had to do.’ That doesn’t tell me anything. Except maybe that you knew it was wrong from the start.”
“Oh, I knew it was wrong. I just didn’t care. And if you’d been there, you wouldn’t have cared, either. I’m your father and I did what was best for you. I take full responsibility for that. Now, I didn’t like it. None of us did. But the moral high ground was the least of my worries when it came to getting my baby girl back.”