Aspen extends her arms. “Hand over the baby. Dr. Brennan and I have a plan. Everything will be okay.”
“Can I help?” Nathalie mumbles.
Aspen shakes her head. “You’re his mother. There are rules about family and patients. You should count yourself lucky that we’re allowing your brother to be here.”
Handing him over, she mumbles, “I’m not.” Her shattering voice almost breaks my heart. “His mom.”
They turn around without a word. I watch them as they disappear behind the double doors. The air I breathe stings my lungs. It’s like breathing fire that burns my insides with fear. Everything is falling apart, and I don’t know what to fix or if I can fix anything.
Since we have to wait, I start with Nat.
“Are you okay?” I ask instead of kneeling in front of her, hugging her legs, and begging her not to leave me.
She doesn’t say a word. She stares at the doors as if waiting for a miracle. I want the same as she does, for our baby to be okay.
“Nat, we need to talk,” I insist.
“If you don’t mind, I’ll pack tomorrow. Once I know he’s going to be okay.”
There it is, the second knife pushed right into my heart. Ironically, I’m bleeding in a hospital, and no one rushes me to the operating room. I wonder if they’ll try to revive me when my soul dies of a broken heart.
Is there any hope between us? I should’ve followed Nando’s advice, but how could I when Laura blindsided me.
I clear my throat. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure. If it’s okay, I’ll stay until they tell us how he’s doing.”
That’s a weird question. It’s like we’re co-existing in different frequencies. I grab her gently by the elbow, and we walk toward the empty waiting room. Once we’re settled, I ask, “How did he convince you to leave me? I’m just…I knew someone would tell you that I’m fucked up, and you’d run but…could we talk about it?”
She frowns. “What are you talking about?
“Your brother came. You plan on packing and leaving. I won’t lie, it fucking hurts. I believed we were together for good. Maybe we hadn’t discussed it, and that’s where things got screwy. Here I thought I was in a serious relationship that might last forever, and you…”
I don’t finish the sentence. What am I supposed to say? I don’t even know what she’s thinking.
“Well, I’m leaving because she kicked me out. Thank you for letting me know that you two were getting back together. You’ll be the next Goldie and Russell.”
I rest my elbows on top of my knees and hang my head. “Oh, fuck.”
“It sucked, you know. The one day I needed you the most, you said it’s over—without breaking up with me. You had your lover kick me out. Classy.”
I go down on the floor and squat in front of her, holding her hands. I speak, “Nat, I love you with all my heart. Why would I…”
She looks at me as if asking if I’m for real. For a moment, I replay everything that happened while Laura was at our home. It looked fucking bad.
It was awful.
“I’m sorry. Laura’s presence in the house shouldn’t have happened in the first place. She had no right to talk to you that way and I should’ve stopped it, but my brain was in a haze. It didn’t occur to me to think about you or your feelings while she was trying to bulldoze her way into our life. It was a combination of a lot of things.
“Keagh has been sick for a couple of days, Laura called earlier, and I was trying to decide what to do with her. Seeing your brother fucked me up because you’ve said before that he’s always been the one who convinces you to obey your mother.”
She snorts.
“What happened with him?”
“Do you want me out?” she asks. “I need to know where I stand.”
“Let’s get this straight. You’re sitting in the waiting room of a hospital. We’ll be here at least for the next couple of hours. Any other questions?”
She gives me an annoyed glance, though her lips are fighting a smile. At least I lightened up her mood.
“I meant about us. You have your life together. I don’t. What happens when the band goes back to work? Will you take Keaghan and leave me? Is this just for now?”
And fuck if Nando wasn’t right.
“Home is where you live, Nat. If you decide to stay in Luna Harbor, we’ll be there. The guys and I can practice almost anywhere. We’ll schedule the tours dates in a way that won’t affect our families.
“If you can, you’ll come with me, but if not, I’ll be gone for a few days and come back to you. Always. What you said back there, that you’re not his mother? That’s not true. You two have a tight bond that I’d never break. He adores you, and I see you as my partner. I’m sorry if I never added a title to this relationship. I never thought it was important to discuss what we wanted from each other until today when I feared that you’d be leaving.”
“All my life, I’ve felt that I don’t belong, but with you, it’s always been different. Still, my insecurities kept screaming, but what if Fisher just wants you for today. It always sounds like you know what you’re doing with your life, and you don’t care what’s going to happen to me.”
“All I want is to be with you forever if you allow it. I love you. I’m not perfect. I’ll always fuck up, but not intentionally.”
I hug her tight. Then I kiss her. It’s a deep, healing kiss to the soul. We lose ourselves in the moment as I promise to take care of her delicate heart and strong mind.
Once she’s calm, I move to the next subject. “What happened to you today?”
“Don’t you hate how our families fucked us up royally?” She snorts. “I learned today that my mom died, and my father never wanted me.”
“What are you talking about?”
She tells me that though her brother went to Luna Harbor to convince her to go home, he ended up confessing that he’s her dad. Her mom died before she was born or right after she was born. It’s all so painful, she starts sobbing. I take a seat, put her on my lap, and hold her while she continues her story.
“He didn’t love me.”
“And then your boyfriend fucks up, huh?”
She nods. I understand why she thinks Elroy doesn’t love her, but I can see how at twenty-one and drunk, she was better off with her grandparents. “He left you with the people he believed would love you the best.”
Dr. Aspen comes out to the waiting room. “He has RSV and developed bronchitis. Dr. Brennan is with him while I speak with you. He’s planning on testing his lung capacity tomorrow morning. Neither one of us thinks there’s going to be long-lasting damage.”
“How long does he have to stay?” Nathalie asks.
“It all depends on how he does in the next few hours.”
“Can we stay with him?”
She nods. “Of course. They’re setting him up in a semi-private room with everything he needs so the three of you can be comfortable. Dr. Brennan will stay for the rest of the night. I’ll be here first thing in the morning.”
I hug her. “Thank you.”