“I did. I don’t think the drive back would create the memories our trip here did, and I don’t want that for us. I’ve taken care of everything with the van and your mom knows when you arrive.”
Oh shit. “You… you called her?”
“Yeah.”
I could hear her now. Don’t worry, Joey, it’s not your fault. This is just, Gabby being… Gabby. She does this. Takes off…
My chest squeezed tight and I reached for the tank top I’d been wearing when I stepped out of the bathroom last night. It smelled like Joey but I tried to ignore his woodsy cologne while I tugged it on.
He’d called my mom.
“What’d she say?”
He worked his jaw side to side and then sighed. “I think, I think she was sad, and proud. I just told her you had some things you needed to handle back there and asked if she could get you.”
“So you didn’t mention I ruined our trip because I was being flighty?”
“No.”
I was pulling on my shorts, fumbling to get my left leg through the hole when I found myself wrapped in his arms.
“I didn’t tell her anything, but that we’d agreed.”
“You didn’t agree to this.”
“And it’s killing me to let you go but I think… this is the right thing. I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“Seems like we both keep saying that.”
“We’ll be okay,” he assured me with a tighter hug and stepped back, dropping his arms to his sides like he couldn’t stand to touch me anymore.
What was I doing?
“When do we fly out?” I couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to see the pain in his eyes, pain I’d caused. “Tonight. I called a moving company. They’ll bring the RV back to Vegas, all our stuff, so just…” He turned away then, reached for the door to the RV. “It’ll take a few hours to get to the airport, so pack up what you need.”
“Joey.”
“I’ll wait outside. We’ll leave when you’re ready.”
I didn’t think I’d ever be ready to leave him. Not like this.
But I couldn’t stay.
It would have taken King Arthur’s magical powers with the sword to slice through the sad, thick silence between us. For four hours we drove to Detroit, barely speaking other than when I needed to help him navigate. On the way, Joey told me more specifics about how the RV would get back to him. He told me he’d keep my stuff there unless I wanted it to go to Garrett’s.
Yours. Your place. So I know it’s safe, I’d replied.
Ours. Our place, was what I’d wanted to say. And so it’s there when I come home. I couldn’t bring myself to say either.
And like he knew, he’d nodded, thrown my carry-on bag over his shoulder and led me through security to my gate.
My flight left an hour before his, and both of us had received a handful of texts from our families.
Jude and Jason asking Joey if everything was okay. Jude would pick him up at the airport.
I had one from my mom: We’ll talk. Be safe and everything will be okay.
One from Garrett: If he hurt you, I’ll kill him.
That’d made me laugh, but when Joey glanced at me, brows rose in question silently asking what was so funny I couldn’t bring myself to share it with him.
I wonder what Garrett would say if he knew this was my fault. My idea.
It was time to board all too quickly. Everything had gone fast even if every painful minute of the day had lasted an eternity.
“Maybe I’m wrong,” I said, panic slicing through me. “Maybe… maybe I don’t need this at all. I can just… figure it out later.”
“And regret it?”
He’d stepped close to me, my carry-on now in my hand and my phone lit with my boarding ticket like a bomb in my palm. If I used it, would everything I felt for this man explode?
“Don’t,” Joey said, and he slid his hand to the back of my neck. With a quick yank, my forehead was at his chest and he held me there, murmuring in my ear. “This is what you need. The next time I sit across from you, tell you I love you and want to be with you forever, I don’t want there to be hesitation in your eyes. It’s okay to need this. Everything’s happened so fast, Gabby. I get it. I do, even if it hurts. We’ll figure it out.”
“I do love you though,” I choked out. I couldn’t bring myself to hold him back or touch him. If I did, I’d fall apart.
“I know.” He kissed the top of my head, slid his hand from my neck to my cheek, and tilted my head up. “And when you tell me it again it will be with a happy smile on your face and not tears on your cheeks.”
To prove it, his thumb swiped at my tears.
“Text me when you land. I should be landing about the same time anyway.” Given the lengths of the flights and time differences he probably wasn’t too far off.
“Okay.” I bit the inside of my cheek to stop my tears. Around us, other flyers were lined up. Some gawked at us with their own sad smiles, acknowledging they felt whatever we were projecting with our whispered goodbyes and tears. If only they knew I was walking away from the man I loved to find myself.
“I love you. Be safe.”
“I will.”
I squeezed my eyes closed as Joey whispered in my ear. “I will love you in every form of woman you come to me in.” He swallowed, scrubbed a hand over his eyes and exhaled with a heavy whoosh. “We’ll keep in touch?”
“Yes. Of course. Every day.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” He winked, a sad smile flashing and he lifted his chin for me to get moving. “We’ll see Torch Lake and Mackinac Island someday, but don’t go without me.”
“Never.”
I didn’t want to go anywhere without him, which is what made this so hard. I loved him, deeper and more intensely than I could have imagined loving anyone.
“Does this make me a fool?”
“No.” His sad smile shot an arrow straight to my heart. “It makes you brave, honey. And it only makes me love you more even if this hurts.”
28
Joey
“I feel like our home is bad luck for your love life.”
I shot Katie a grin as she joined me on the back patio.
Ironically, it was less than a year ago I was sitting in the same chair, moody and mopey, and it’d been Lizzie who had joined me. Back then, I couldn’t imagine getting over Lenora.
Today, I just wanted to count down the days until I could see Gabby again.
“How’d Marissa go down?”
It was after dinner and at almost a year old, Katie had warned me Marissa was beginning to hate bedtimes.
“Jude took over. I wanted to talk to you.”
I brought the beer bottle to my mouth and took a swallow. “I don’t have much more to say.”
After arriving in Charlotte late last night, Jude had waited until he got me to his home and handed me a beer before he and Katie grilled me on what happened. I’d told them everything. From what I remembered of getting married, why we went on the trip, about meeting Andrea and Corey, and then the way all the kids were magnets to Gabby sand dune sliding. I danced over our last night, but from what I’d explained, they both seemed to understand.