I turned to face him. “I’m over Matt. I’m not standing here with a broken heart.”
Miller lifted his hand and touched the side of my face. His hands were warm from the fire. But that wasn’t the reason why it felt like I was melting into him. “Then why do you look so sad?”
“I’m not sad.” I pressed my lips together. “I’m scared.”
He moved closer to me. “What are you scared of?”
“Everyone I’ve ever loved…leaves me.”
“Brooklyn.” He put his other hand on the side of my face, cradling my head in his palms. “I would never leave you.”
“But what if I’m bad luck?”
He smiled down at me. “You’re not bad luck, kid.”
I rolled my eyes.
He groaned.
I laughed. “What was that noise for?”
“It does something to me when you roll your eyes at me.”
I swallowed hard. “Well, good.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Good?”
“Yeah good. Because I just told you that I’m not broken.” I stared into his eyes. “I’m standing here with a heart that wants you. I’m here because I love you. Because I want you. And you’re the only person I’m thinking about. I swear.” I swallowed hard and grabbed the condom I’d hidden in my bra. “And I think it’s about time we both let ourselves be happy.” I placed the condom in his palm.
For a second he just stared at me.
Please, Miller. Want me back. Want me for me. Believe in me.
Then his fist closed around my hand and he backed me up against the stone fireplace. His hand caught my hip, holding me firmly in place.
Fuck.
“You’re everything, Brooklyn.”
Something about the way he said it made me want to cry. Not everything to him. Just…everything.
“I don’t know if you’re not broken. But if this is what you want, I trust you.”
“This is what I want.”
His Adam’s apple rose and then fell as he stared at me.
“You’re who I want, Miller. I want you. I want this. And I don’t want to waste another second of us not being an us.”
He grabbed my ass and lifted me so that my legs were wrapped around his waist. “Not another second huh?”
I laughed.
He captured my laughter with his kiss.
I grabbed the back of his neck, deepening the kiss. Finally. I buried my fingers in his hair. “I hated being just friends with you,” I said between kisses.
“I told you we were never just friends.” He bit my lower lip.
I moaned.
He pushed my skirt up, brushing his fingers across my clit through the thin fabric of my panties. “All I want to do is fuck you right here.”
Finally. “Then do it.” God, please do it.
“Not today.”
Not today? What the actual hell was wrong with him? “But I just told you…” my words died away when he kissed me again. Slower than before.
He pulled me away from the wall and leaned down, placing me on the rug in front of the fireplace. “I’m going to do what I wanted to do when you showed up on Christmas.”
I propped myself up on my elbows as I stared up at him. “And what did you want to do to me on Christmas?” He had to be talking about making love to me right? Instead of fucking? That had to be it. And I wanted him to say the words. I needed to hear him say it back.
He didn’t say a word as he pulled off his shirt and leaned back over me to capture another kiss.
“I love you,” I said, grabbing both sides of his face.
He kissed the side of my jaw instead of responding.
“I love you,” I said again just in case he hadn’t heard me the first time.
He pushed the dress strap off my shoulder and placed a kiss in the empty spot.
He couldn’t make love to me without actually saying the words first. This was ridiculous. “Why won’t you say it back?”
“Say what back?” he asked as he slid my dress up my hips.
“I’ve told you I loved you dozens of times and you’ve never said it back.”
The corner of his mouth ticked up as he looked down up at me. “Of course I’ve said it back.”
“No. You haven’t.”
“I haven’t?”
I laughed. “No.”
He slowly pulled my panties down my thighs and off my legs. And then he leaned down and kissed the inside of my shin.
God, he was distracting me again.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve said it,” he said, slowly kissing up my leg.
He was exasperating. “I swear you haven’t.”
“I guess I should fix that then.” He kissed the inside of my thigh and locked eyes with me. “I love you.”
I swallowed hard. His gaze was so intense that I could barely breathe.
He kissed farther up my thigh. “I love you.” He kissed me higher still. “I love you.” His eyes stayed trained on mine the whole time. And I’d never seen anything sexier in my whole life.
“I love you.” He placed a kiss on my hipbone as he pushed my dress up higher. “I love you.” He kissed my ribcage.
I pulled my dress the rest of the way off as he unhooked my bra. “I love you.” His tongue swirled around my nipple.
Jesus. I grabbed the back of his head. I wasn’t sure what was hotter. Him saying he loved me or what he was doing to me…God. He tugged on my nipple with his teeth.
“I love you,” he said and kissed my clavicle, moving slowly over top of me until we were eye level. “I’m madly in love with you. And I have been for a really long time. You’re sure I never told you?”
I laughed. “No, you hadn’t.”
He ran the tip of his nose down the length of mine. “I love you, Brooklyn.”
“I love you too.” I wasn’t sure how he got me from laughing one minute to almost crying the next. “So much. And I swear if you tease me anymore I’m going to explode.”
I watched him slowly rip open the foil and slide the condom over his cock.
He leaned over top of me, pausing instead of sliding into me. “You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of you looking up at me like this.”
He didn’t have to explain. I was pretty sure there were stars in my eyes whenever I looked at him. And I’d been dreaming of this moment too. I couldn’t even count how many times I woke up panting in California after dreaming of him.
“I love you.” He shifted forward, slowly sliding into me. Inch by sweet inch.
I’d almost forgotten how good this felt. How had I ever believed that I could just live the rest of my life without being loved again? It felt really fucking amazing to be loved. I’d barely remembered what it was like.
Miller’s kiss was possessive. His tongue somehow mimicking what he was doing inside of me. It was like his mouth was fucking me as his body made love to me. Like he needed to show how crazy he was about me while showing how much he loved me at the same time. He was showing way more restraint than me.
As if he knew what I was thinking, he thrust into me harder.
Fuck. I raked my fingers through his hair. I loved his hair short. But it was really nice having something to grab onto as he picked up his pace.