“So, you called to let me know.”
Brow furrowed, she stared. “Yes, you know I did.”
“Why?”
Her chin jerked back slightly. “Why? I don’t understand.”
“I want to know why you called LSI-WC to tell me.”
She sucked in her lips, pressing them together for a moment, searching for the words to answer. Shrugging, she finally said, “I suppose I wanted you to know that I hadn’t said anything in Maggie’s house that would have betrayed you. I suppose, if I’m honest, I wanted to point out that you’d been wrong.”
“Fair enough, but I don’t believe that’s the only reason.”
He held her gaze, and she battled the urge to squirm. “I wanted you to know that there was other information someone might know. I wanted you to be safe.”
“How you found out about the bug in Maggie’s cane is important, so thank you for telling me, but that’s not what I want us to talk about. When you left your message, you said you didn’t want to talk to me, but just before you hung up, you said for me to be safe. You just said that again.”
Confused, she spread her hands to the side and shook her head. “Carson, I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
“I don’t believe that you don’t want to have anything to do with me again. I don’t believe that you want to walk away from what we had and what we felt.”
Continuing to shake her head, she huffed. “You asked for forgiveness, and I gave it. You asked for an explanation, and I gave that, too. But you’ve also made it clear that LSI-WC is everything to you. Maybe you’ve decided that you can devote the same attention to a relationship, but if you’re uncertain, that’s not fair to my heart.”
“You’re right, babe. It’s not fair to your heart to take a chance on me. But that’s what I’m asking. Hell, that’s what I’m begging. I’ve been fuckin’ miserable for the past few days because I realized that my heart was already involved with you, and I can’t believe your heart wasn’t feeling the same.”
She jumped to her feet, her skin feeling too tight to hold all the emotions swirling inside of her. Stalking a few feet to the other side of the room, she whirled around to face him again. “I freely admit that my heart was involved! That didn’t scare me. But what has scared me is the last few days when you cast us away so quickly.”
He leaped from the sofa and stalked toward her, stopping his booted feet just in front of her bare toes. His eyes held her as his hands landed on her shoulders, gently squeezing. “Please, Jeannie, don’t tell me there’s not a second chance for us. I reacted poorly and tried to convince myself that a relationship wasn’t right. But I never thought that you weren’t the right person. Honest to God, as cliché as it sounds, I truly thought that I wasn’t ready. But I was wrong.”
Her chest ached as the air dragged in and rushed out of her lungs. Her gaze never left his as she whispered, “What do you want from me?” Then, shaking her head so quickly that tendrils flew about her shoulders, she amended, “No, that’s not the right question. It’s not what do you want from me. It’s what do you expect from yourself?”
His fingers tensed slightly as they held her shoulders, then his hands glided up so that he cupped the back of her head and lifted her chin with his thumbs. “I expect to have as much dedication to building a relationship with you as I do building my business. I can do both. I will do both. And I know to the very core of who I am that you are the woman I want by my side.”
She shivered from the way his eyes held her gaze so intensely, the heat from his body as he stood so close, and the tingles from the touch of his hands on her jaw. Chest still heaving, she swallowed deeply. “I’ve been the last face some soldiers saw on this earth. Some called me by their wife’s name… or even ‘Mom.’ I’ve stared down the barrel of a gun from an addict looking for their next fix in the ER. I’ve held a grieving mom in my arms as they held their dying child in theirs—”
“Christ, Jeannie.”
Her chin quivered. “But this… giving my heart back to you… trusting my heart with you… I’m scared.”
“Baby, you give me another chance, and I’ll do everything in my power every day to take away your fear and your doubt. Please give us a chance. Not to start anew but to start right here, right now, having learned lessons during the past few days.”
Standing on the precipice of a life decision, she could take a step back and stay safe or leap into the abyss, not knowing if she’d be crushed on the rocks or soar to the greatest heights. But, staring into his eyes, she realized she only had one choice. His eyes lit with an intensity that had the power to sear her, but she wasn’t burned. Instead, she felt warm. Nodding slowly, her words barely audible, she whispered, “I choose us.”
His body jerked slightly as though her words surprised him, and the air rushed from his lungs as he pulled her in closer. One arm banded around her back and the other still cupped her jaw. “Oh, thank God,” he said, his warm breath brushing over her face. Her hands were pressed flat against his chest as he lowered his head slowly. She realized he was giving her the power, so she lifted up on her toes and offered her mouth to his.
His lips met hers, and he kissed her lightly before angling his head and sealing their mouths together, his tongue gently gliding over hers. He continued exploring but held back, seeming to be satisfied with the kiss having a life of its own without fanning more flames. He pulled away with little nibbles and kisses along her cheek, finally tucking her face against his chest, kissing the top of her head.
No longer holding his gaze as her cheek rested against his heart, she asked, “Can you stay, or do you need to get back?”
“The only place I need to be tonight is here by your side.”
With his heartbeat pounding against her ear, she smiled and tightened her arms around his waist. Exhaustion pulled at her, and she stifled a yawn.
He continued, “This isn’t about sex. Not tonight. This is about me taking care of you and the intimacy of just holding each other as we sleep.”
She twisted around and looked up, seeing fatigue etched into the lines on his face, as well. She smiled and nodded, dropped her hand from his waist, linked fingers with him, and led the way to her bedroom. Wondering if she’d ever be able to get back to sleep, she needn’t have doubted. Tucked under the covers with their arms around each other, slumber easily found both of them.
Hours later, Jeannie blinked her eyes open as the early morning sun peeked through the lacy sheers over windows. A heavy weight lay across her middle and leg, and a muscular and very masculine chest filled her vision. Tilting her head back slightly, her line of sight took in a thick neck and square jaw covered in stubble. Carson’s closed eyes and steady breathing gave evidence that he was still asleep.
She stared, taken in by the pure beauty of him. Her fingers itched to skim over his skin, trace his tattoos, and memorize each muscle.
Thinking back to the previous evening—or rather, a few hours ago—their conversation played over in her mind. She had no idea how successful Carson was going to be at devoting time and attention to their relationship while devoting the same to LSI-WC, but as she stared at the strength of the man sharing her pillow, she was filled with the knowledge that if anyone could accomplish success on both fronts, it was him. And she was willing to take a chance with her heart on him, as well.