“You mean…”
She nodded. “We didn’t have penetrative sex for months. He never pushed me. We always went at my pace. It made everything easier, you know? He accepted me for who I am and loved me regardless.”
I knew my eyes were massive as I looked at her. “Link—”
Her grin was sheepish but she knew where I was coming from. “I know he was a manwhore.”
Understatement.
I didn’t say that, just reasoned, “I knew he loved you, but that’s definitely unexpected.”
“I like to think that that’s Link. Always illuminating.”
Her smile was multifaceted. It spoke of her love for him, his for her. It spoke of the feelings he imbued in her. But more than anything, it spoke of how lucky she felt.
I was glad for her.
She deserved a man like Link who cared for her the way he did.
I tightened my fingers around hers. “I’m sorry that you had to deal with this. I’m being ridiculous.”
She shook her head. “Whatever happened to you, Rachel, you don’t have to be sorry for it.”
Something flickered in her gaze, and while her tone wasn’t hesitant, there was something about it that reminded me of when I was questioning a witness on the stand and was trying to get them to admit to things they wanted to hide from the jury.
Preferring to call her bluff, I asked, “What is it?”
“We didn’t ask for these things to happen to us. They were done to us. I know that sounds obvious but sometimes, it’s easy to forget and it’s easy for that truth to blur.”
Throat thick with emotions, I nodded. “I-If it happened and you could erase it, that would be one thing. But it never goes, does it? It’s not just something that happened; it’s something that happens. It keeps happening over and over—”
As I paused to suck in a sharp breath, she nodded. “Would you… tomorrow…”
When she broke off, I swiped a hand over my cheeks, unsurprised to find them drenched, and asked, “What about tomorrow?”
“Thursdays, Tiff has this little group meeting at my house. Would you like to come?”
“What kind of meeting?”
“Indy, me, Amara, Alessa, and Giulia… Stone too if she’s not on shift. We all get together and talk.”
“About what you’ve been through?”
“Sometimes it’s that. Sometimes it’s just, you know, us hanging out. It’d be really great if you could come. Talking about it with someone is better than bottling it up and not expressing it.”
I knew she was right.
Worrying my lip with my teeth, I whispered, “What time and can I have your address again?”
THIRTY-NINE
RACHEL
Once Lily left, the countdown to nine sped by. There was always so much to do and this evening was no different.
When Rex rang me at nine on the dot, I’d barely had the chance to shower before my phone buzzed with his incoming call.
Exhausted from the day’s maneuverings, I found myself relieved that he was trying to be conciliatory. His tone confirmed that he was truly sorry for blaming the messenger and, in all honesty, I couldn’t lay any guilt at his door.
When I’d read through Bear’s will, I’d been equally as devastated and he wasn’t even my dad!
Mostly Rex was pissed about Wynter’s adoptive father showing up and causing a scene at her place of work.
As he continued to rage about Jeremy Kinnock’s behavior that afternoon, I murmured, “I hope you didn’t resolve the situation with your fists?”
His lack of a reply was statement enough.
“Goddammit, Rex,” I grated out. “What the hell kind of example is that going to show Wynter?”
“He started it.”
“What are you? Six?”
“He attacked me. Twice.”
“What are his injuries?”
“Broken nose and fist.” He cleared his throat. “Bruising.”
“Did anyone see?”
“Don’t think so.”
My mouth tightened. “I really don’t feel like flying over there and sorting things out for you, Rex. It’s busy enough over here without you adding to my workload.”
He was damn fortunate I could even do that.
After college, after everything, in the early days, I’d passed my bar in California first. Then, later, when I’d been able to bear returning to New Jersey, I’d passed it there as well.
Next had come New York.
Aurora and I used to have a personal competition running over how many bar certificates we could collect before we retired.
Sadly, she was winning.
He huffed. “You should come over anyway. Wynter would love to meet you.”
Anxiety stirred in the form of a battalion of butterflies that came to life in my stomach. “She would?”
“Yeah. You should have heard her talking about you after the call. She was excited.”
“She was? I felt like such a fool,” I half-whined.
“I could tell you were anxious as hell, but she didn’t know. How could she?”
“I’d have preferred our first conversation not to have taken place while I was sweating like a pig and my blood pressure was close to giving me a stroke.”
Rex snorted. “Drama queen.”
Rather than be pissed, my lips twitched. “Better than ice queen?”
“Only sometimes.” His chuckle was low. Low enough that it did crazy things to my insides. “Rach?”
“Yes?”
“I really am sorry about today.”
“I know you are,” I told him, my tone as earnest as his, because I needed him to know that I empathized. “And you don’t have to apologize again.”
Silent for a couple moments, he eventually said, “It’s just not… When I think of him, I know the shit he did wrong, but I know he was a good leader, a great dad, and a—”
“He was still a decent husband, Rex,” I tried to soothe. “Your mom wouldn’t have taken him back if she hadn’t forgiven him.”
“What if he never told her?”
“I don’t think that’s likely.”
“Why not?”
“Well… the timing.”
Having looked Kendra up, I knew her birthday correlated with the time when Rene and Bear had almost separated.
I said ‘almost’ because it hadn’t exactly been that cut and dry.
Rene had miscarried a child and, afterward, had withdrawn from the world.
Her depression had been so intense that, to this day, I could remember how she’d wandered around the compound as if she were in a daze.
“I think you should have faith in the man you knew. He wasn’t perfect and never claimed to be. I’m sure Bear, more than anyone, would—”
“How did he let Kendra do it?”
“Do what?”
“Whore herself out,” he seethed.
“There’s a letter to you about it,” I said uncomfortably. “I just know what the will says.”
“Did he leave any bequests to Kendra?”
“No. Only her mother.”