It shamed me, to be honest.
I’d always kept some distance from the Sinners, mostly because I couldn’t handle being close to Rex, couldn’t deal with the dichotomy of my personality when I was with him.
My focus always remained on the old me and how different this newer version was.
How much worse she was by comparison.
But the men were all my family, and I’d made no effort to know their women. Had had no real interest in knowing them.
My selfishness knew no bounds.
With a self-deprecating smile, I murmured, “Thank you for letting me be a part of this.”
She blinked at me, her curls bouncing as she laughed. “You’ll be cursing me later. This is pretty much how it always starts and ends—chaos.”
“That makes sense. Giulia called these meetings Posse? Or something like that?”
Her nose crinkled. “We’re her Posse. Are you joining?” she asked, her interest clear.
“Is it like a sorority? Will I have to pledge?”
Something lit up in her eyes at my teasing. I didn’t want to think that it was relief because that meant my rep had preceded me—
Oh, who the hell was I kidding?
Of course it had preceded me.
“I mean, you can if you want, but I won’t be sending you on wild goose chases and making you switch that glass of water for vodka,” Giulia drawled.
Her voice was close, and it took me a second to find her in the doorway. She looked like hell. The air around her was charged, as if she had the power to start her own hurricane and to tether it to her.
I’d seen her in various rages over the course of her stay at my place, so her bad mood wasn’t difficult for me to spot.
“I hated pledging,” Lily grumbled as Link finally put her down when she complained all the blood was rushing to her head.
He supported her as she got her bearings, asking curiously, “Was it like in Legally Blonde?”
I snorted, but Tiff arched a brow. “You’ve watched Legally Blonde, Link?”
Lily grinned. “What do you think? We can’t always watch Chopped.”
That was clearly some kind of inside-joke because warmth filtered into Link’s expression and he bowed down, whispered something in her ear, then pressed a kiss to her lips.
“On that note,” he intoned, “I’d better be going.” His gaze caught mine and he smiled. “Good to know you’ll be keeping these reprobates out of jail, Rach.”
Amused by how different his reaction was to Nyx’s, I shot him a smile in return as he wandered away, taking a different exit to the one I’d come through.
“He’ll be going to see Maverick,” Lily explained as she walked over to me. Her hand came to my arm and she squeezed gently. “There’s a drink station set up in the living room where we’re going to be sitting if you need a refill. Want to come with me?”
I nodded, surprised by her gentle tone.
“It’s okay, Lily. You don’t have to be watchful around me. I won’t run off.”
She squeezed. “I know, but it can be intimidating. These women are…” She shrugged, and while her smile was impish, it was also loaded with a genuine caring. “They’re strong and forceful. I don’t doubt you’ll fit in, but it could be nerve-wracking to wade into the fray.”
“I appreciate the thought.”
And I did.
I smiled at her as she murmured, “We’re sitting in this room.”
“Not the glass room?” Giulia complained. “I like the sofa.”
“Not today,” Lily countered. “The pink room’s in a loose circle. I figured it might ease Rachel in better.”
“You don’t have to make any changes for me,” I argued, feeling the flush of heat burn a path along the crest of my cheekbones.
“No, it’s a smart move for your first time.”
Amara grumbled, “Why was my first time not smart?”
“Because you’re dangerous,” Giulia sniped. “You need comfort not structure.”
Amara pondered that. “I see this.”
“She’s a loaded gun,” Lily drawled with a soft laugh as she tugged me toward the ‘pink room.’ “But she means us no harm.”
I had to snort at that.
“But the rest of the world isn’t so safe?”
Shooting me a smirk, Lily agreed, “Exactly.”
The pink room lived up to its name.
Magenta armchairs, stylized with hard edges and lines to give them a cubic shape, gleamed under the glow of a large golden chandelier. They were spaced in a loose circle with a kind of extended glass table between them. It was lower to the ground than a regular dining table, made for the armchairs, I guessed.
Hell, it was pretty much an upper-class version of the new clubhouse bar.
“It’s a weird room, isn’t it?” Lily confided. “But I couldn’t change it.”
“Why not?”
“I like the chairs too much.”
She guided me to one and I took a seat, understanding why when the chair seemed to suck me in.
Placing my glass on the table, I watched as the others drifted into the room too.
Amara stormed in, Giulia pretty much surged in on that wind of hers she seemed to be generating on her own. Alessa, living up to her old nickname, Ghost, seemed to float in, Tiffany like she was a catwalk model, Indy stomping in in her Doc Martens and Stone rushing in, a hectic color on her cheeks.
No one seemed surprised to see me, but I was surprised to see them.
Indy and Stone had been friends since they were younger, and I knew Tiffany and Lily were the same. Alessa and Amara had been through similar trials by fire but I could see they weren’t close.
Giulia and I weren’t the odd ducks, no one was, even though connections had been made years earlier and friendships forged before these women had become Old Ladies.
It was a surprisingly poignant sight.
We came from so many different walks of life yet we all knew what it was like to survive something heinous.
Of course, that wasn't our only connection.
A gathering of women who were strong enough to tame the Sinners’ councilors, a rowdy bunch of bastards who’d been wild and free until they’d all been snagged up by their Old Ladies.
Okay, who was I kidding?
The Sinners would never be tamed.
I knew that from seeing Nyx with Giulia.
She dampened down the wildness in him, but it still raged on—she just never got burned by it.
As everyone took a seat, Tiffany made to close the door, but Lodestar sneaked in before it snickered to a close.
Giulia arched a brow at her. “What are you doing in here?”
“Might not be an Old Lady but I’m an honorary Sinner,” Lodestar groused.
Giulia didn’t argue, so her presence wasn’t a problem, but it made me wonder if Lodestar had never attended one of these group meetings despite her past.
Either way, Tiffany moved a chair from beside an expensive vanity table that had an even more expensive bronze looming over it which sat pretty beside a drink tray with glasses and an ice bucket for anyone needing refreshment. She passed the seat to Lodestar who sat down with a sigh.
Her injuries from the clubhouse blast had been extensive, and I knew she’d only been released from her casts and the wheelchair recently. Her stiffness indicated that she wasn’t back to normal just yet.