She bites her bottom lip so hard, I’m surprised she doesn’t draw blood. “Melvin figured it out. He said he, uh, hacked Janelle’s phone and found the messages she sent Ernest that basically explained what she was doing that night.”
I should feel relieved, right? I should be clicking my heels that I’ve been exonerated, but for some reason, I feel like punching a hole in a wall. Fucking Melvin. I can think of few things as humiliating as having a panic attack in front of that guy.
“Would’ve been nice if you’d just asked me. If you’d said, ‘Hey, asshole, did you cheat on me?’ And I could have told you myself that I’d rather take a hot poker to my nut sack than cheat. But I’m glad you got the answers you were looking for.”
I start to get into my Rover when she calls my name.
Her stricken face makes me freeze, and shame hits me hard.
I close my eyes, hating myself for not controlling my anger. It’s not Sienna’s fault she got mired in my family drama. This whole thing started because the woman let me move in with her to help me, for fuck’s sake.
A moment later, I pull her into my arms and hug her tight while she sniffles against me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into her hair. “I don’t know what got into me. I’ve missed you so fucking much. It’s been killing me not to be able to talk to you. To think that you might suspect the worst of me has kept me up at night.”
She doesn’t say anything, but after a few minutes, she backs away and wipes away the tears that escaped. “I just wanted to apologize for how things went down when I got back from Dallas.”
She explains how she called Melvin, who got her father involved. Being the absurdly rich men that they are, they swooped into town a few hours later.
We sit on my back bumper, I wrap my arm around her shoulders, and she tells me about how upset she is with her dad.
“Sorry, sunshine. That sucks.”
In a strange way, though, I understand why her father hopped on a plane so quickly. If I thought my daughter was in some kind of danger, I’d haul ass to get to her side too.
I can’t stop looking at her. Cataloging details about her I’ve missed. But I don’t see my vivacious Sienna. Her big brown eyes don’t sparkle and her face looks pale. She looks exhausted.
“I’m sorry I blocked you. If it means anything, I unblocked you the next day but then lost my phone at a gas station.” She fiddles with the hem of her dress. “And I wasn’t intending to ghost you forever. I just needed a few days to take everything in. I’m sorry, though. I know that probably screwed up your childcare. I was trying to stop freaking out. Those photos just...”
She doesn’t finish, and I don’t press her to.
I tilt her face toward me. “I would never do that to you.”
She nods, but I don’t see the same woman in front of me that I’ve been living with. She’s reserved and hesitant.
Like she doesn’t trust me.
I remove my arm and stand. But before I can say anything, she asks, “So you’re going out with Cherry now?”
At first, her words don’t make sense. “What are you talking about?”
She motions behind me to where all of us had been talking earlier.
“I heard Johnny say he was happy you were moving on and going out with Cherry.”
I’m seriously going to kill him. The man only has one volume, and it’s loud as fuck.
I look her straight in the eye, because I want her to understand I’ll never lie to her, and I tell her about the assignment. And then I ask, “Are you planning to run off with Melvin?” Because those are the odds of me hooking up with Cherry.
She laughs, and that smile on her face means everything to me. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her how much I love her, but she starts talking. “He’s an old family friend. My father’s age, for the record. So no. I’m not having a fling with Melvin.”
But then her humor fades away. “I’ve been thinking, though...”
I wait for her to continue, and she looks away.
This can’t be good.
“I think we’ve been moving too fast. And if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I fit in your life. You have your daughter and school and football.”
She doesn’t need to explain. “So you don’t want to move back.”
Her eyes shine, but she shakes her head. “I just think I got in too deep with you too fast, and then things with Janelle in Dallas made me feel like someone pulled the rug out from under me.”
She says she can help with Lily, that she and Magnolia can take shifts, but I’m too caught up on her leaving my sorry ass to process it. I want to howl and break shit because I ruined her trust in me. Why did I drag her to Dallas with me? What was I thinking?
She clears her throat. “I need some space to figure out a few things.”
She needs space?
I nod because what else am I supposed to do? Get down on my knees and beg her to love me?
While I appreciate that she wanted to clear the air and talk through things, the end result is the same. She wants to break up. Because everyone on this planet knows that when a woman says she “needs space,” she wants you out of her life.
I’ve already told her how much I’ve missed her. What will words about love do except make me feel like a bigger ass?
When she drives away, I can’t help but feel like I just lost one of the best things in my life.
54
SIENNA
“Thanks so much for letting me crash with you.” Magnolia was the first person I called when I decided not to come home because I knew Ben would need extra help with Lily.
Her house looks straight out of That ’70s Show. If it took place in a giant haunted Victorian. Between the shag rug on the floor and the bead door curtain, I have some serious questions about how she ended up here.
Maggie adjusts her glasses and smiles. “This house creeps me out at night, so really, you’re doing me a favor. Just watch the steps. They need some work.”
“I’ll help you with the rent or mortgage or whatever.”
“Thank God. I didn’t want to ask in case you were on your last leg, but I’m not gonna lie—I could use the help. Not for the mortgage, but I need to do a couple of repairs.”
I’m surprised Ben hasn’t told her about my family, but I guess I shouldn’t be. He’s not the kind of guy to go around blabbing gossip about people.
Maggie gives me a quick tour and warns me about the trouble spots where loose baseboards or water damage have taken out a few steps. Apparently, she inherited this place from a relative she didn’t even know well.
We settle in the living room with some hot chocolate, and I get out my textbooks, but no matter how many times I read the page in front of me, I can’t process a word.
“Maggie, can I ask you something?” When she nods, I give in to the urge that’s been eating away at me since I saw Ben last night. “Is Ben doing okay?” I’ve already peppered her with questions about Lily, but I wasn’t ready to talk about him yet.
Last night I felt overwhelmed and tongue-tied. He looked so beautiful after practice with his damp hair and t-shirt that clung to his wide chest. Seeing him talking to Cherry knocked the wind out of me. I’d had every intention of seeing if we could work things out, but hearing Johnny talk about Ben and Cherry scared me.