I bombarded Melvin when I found out that he’d spoken face-to-face with Ben, but he’s been tight-lipped about the whole thing. My dad has him doing security audits on all of his properties because Melvin’s in the doghouse for helping me without giving my father a heads-up.
Maggie gives me a sad smile. “Ben is his usual serious self. I can tell he misses you, though.”
I swallow and wish I could rewind the last few days. If there’s a bright spot, it’s that my dad relented on the security team. I just have to check in more with “his people.” I’m sure they’re probably tracking my new phone too, and I guess that’s fine. If I really want privacy, I’ll just leave my phone at home.
I’m going to use the next few weeks to regroup. To focus on classes. Teach yoga. Try to raise money for my after-school yoga program. To find my light, so to speak.
And pretend I’m not heartbroken over losing Ben.
The hardest part is that after I shared all of the reasons I didn’t think Ben and I would work, he didn’t argue. He didn’t fight me. He just accepted it. Or maybe, deep down, he agreed with me.
A man who loves you would fight harder, right?
I wish I had some fight left in me, but I’m wrung out. I’ve already experienced being the only one in a relationship, and I don’t want to have to persuade Ben we should be together.
“You miss him, huh?” Maggie asks as she pulls me into a hard hug.
“You’re stronger than you look,” I squeak against her shoulder.
She laughs and lets me go. “Have more hot chocolate. I find that makes everything better. Even broken hearts.”
I’ve only known Maggie since early August, but apparently she reads me like a book.
“Thanks.” I accept the refill and promise myself that I’ll stop moping around soon. “I miss him a lot.”
“I know. You guys will work things out.”
I’m not so sure. Worse? I’m not sure I’m what’s best for him. We come from really different backgrounds. His aunt and uncle hate me. His ex probably wants me dead.
“This breakup or whatever this is isn’t his fault. Not really. I’m just not sure where to go from here.”
Like I told Ben, I’m always the first girl to jump off the pier or skydive or learn ski tricks.
But I don’t feel brave anymore, and I’m not sure how to get that back.
55
BEN
“¡Qué guapo!” How handsome. I roll my eyes as my aunt squeezes my face like I’m seven. My aunt and uncle must’ve taken Sienna’s challenge that they do more because they showed up on my doorstep a few days ago with a mountain of food and promises not to cause any more trouble.
“Thanks.” I’m in a crappy mood after another near loss this afternoon. There’s nothing more frustrating than sitting on the sidelines when there’s something you could do if your asshole coach gave you a chance.
And now I have to schmooze boosters at that dumb fundraiser tonight when all I want to do is sleep for the next week.
Good times.
Tía Teresa adjusts my tie and then demands that my uncle take some photos.
“Isn’t he a good-looking boy? Qué lástima Janelle—”
“Tía.” I’m not talking about Janelle tonight. Shit with her just gets worse and worse. My uncle found out that she had run up tens of thousands in credit card debt, which was the reason she gave in to her parents’ demands that she try to get back together with me. Not only did they think I could straighten her out, but they promised to pay off her debt if she did.
I’m pretty sure only a professional can help that woman.
As far as I know, she’s back with Ernest. Good luck with that, man.
“Are y’all gonna be okay with Lily tonight? I’ll have my phone on me, and I’m planning to come right back home after, so—”
“You don’t have a date, do you?” she asks out of nowhere.
A beleaguered sigh leaves me. “No. I don’t.”
“I’m sure there are so many nice girls out there who’d love to go out with you.”
“Tía, I know you mean well, but I don’t want to be with anyone but Sienna. And since she doesn’t want to see me right now, I’m flying solo.”
Her face falls. “We messed everything up for you with her, didn’t we?”
That’s my family. Kind of intense and a little crazy but well-intentioned. We’ve already hashed it out. I don’t want to dredge up any more drama.
“It’ll be okay.” I say the words on autopilot. She’s not usually someone who stirs up shit, but she definitely set the groundwork for that clusterfuck.
I don’t tell her I miss Sienna like I’ve never missed anyone but my parents when they died or my sister when we got separated as children.
Before I leave, I kiss my daughter, who’s sitting in her highchair. “Bye, peanut. Be a good girl. I’ll be home in a little while.”
“Bye, Daddy!” She gives me a messy grin. She has a ring of chili all the way around her mouth.
It seems wrong to have my aunt, uncle, and Lily in Sienna’s house without my girl here.
I feel like I’m missing something elemental. A limb. Part of my soul. Maybe my heart.
As I open the front door, Fowler is standing there about to knock.
He does a double-take when he sees me. “I thought you and Sienna broke up.”
“Nice to see you too.” I close the door behind me and lock it. “She moved out.”
He’s wearing a suit, sans tie, so he must be on the way to the banquet too. He stoops to peer into the front window.
“Dude.” I smack his shoulder. “Why are you peeping in my house? I told you she’s not here. What do you want with her anyway?”
“Oh, um…” He dangles something shiny in his hand. It has a charm of a butterfly or something on the end. “I found a bracelet at the house. In the couch cushions. You know, way in there. Thought it might be hers. Didn’t think she’d want to talk to Cal, so I brought it over.”
I hold out my hand. “I’ll give it to her.”
He snatches it back. Tucks it into his pocket. “Nah. It’s cool. Like I said, I found it. Maybe it belongs to someone else. I’ll just wait until I see Sienna around.”
I watch him jog back to his car.
Fucking weird.
Unless he’s trying to get Sienna to go out with him.
Fuming at the thought, I drive to the banquet, which is being held in the large ballroom above the student union.
By the time I get parked and through an insane amount of security, I’m late. I make my way to the table, which, for some reason, is at the front with some mucky-mucks who are supposed to donate a lot of money. I’ve missed some great speech, blah blah blah. I smile across the room at Krud, who can’t strangle me in front of the boosters.
Krud has squeezed himself into a suit and is hamming it up and pretending he’s not an ass as he wanders around shaking hands and slapping backs.
Thankfully, my seat is next to Olly, who I’m happy to hang out with. Too bad he brought Amelia.