Soon after, we’re all rushing to shed our shirts and make sure our phones are out of our pockets before diving in.
“Too slow, big brother,” Sterling boasts, pointing at Orrin. “Looks like dinner’s on you.”
“I hope things are going well at the body shop,” Declan calls out. “You should never let me order when I’m starving.”
“Like I’m not used to it. Hell, the five of us can eat a large all on our own, and then the girls will probably split one. That’s six.”
“I ordered eight, just to be safe.” Declan smirks.
Orrin grumbles under his breath, but it’s all in good fun. He’s the oldest of nine, and you would never know it when they all get together. Even the twins, Maverick and Merrick, who just graduated this year, all seem so close in age when they’re together. I spent a lot of time at their house growing up. Carol and Raymond Kincaid have more patience than any other parents I’ve ever met.
“Incoming!” Palmer calls out as she comes running toward the pool. We barely have time to move out of the way before she’s splashing into the water. “Ramsey, get your ass in here,” my sister calls out for her best friend.
I turn and see Ramsey smiling, shaking her head at my sister's antics. She makes it to the edge of the pool and sits, sticking her feet in the water. I swim to where she’s sitting and run my hand over her leg that’s underwater.
“Are you not getting in?” I ask her.
“Oh, uh, yeah, maybe later.”
“Ramsey.”
“Deacon,” she sasses, and my cock is instantly hard.
“Tell me why you’re not swimming.”
“I just,” she starts to feed me some bullshit line, but that’s not who we are. She set the rules, and now she has to abide by them.
“I need your words, sweetheart. Your truth,” I remind her.
“I’m not used to swimming in crowds. I’ve gained a little weight since I’ve been here, and I just… don’t want to take my cover-up off just yet.”
“No.” I move in closer, positioning myself between her legs, and wrap my arms around her waist. “You’re perfect. They played with your emotions, but baby, that’s not going to happen here. Your family is here, and Palmer, and it’s just me. If you think there is anything underneath this sheer piece of black fabric that I don’t want to set my eyes on, you are sorely mistaken.”
“It’s hard to push them out of my head. I’m doing better. It’s just times like these that I remember words that were said, and I revert to that girl.”
“You were never that girl. That’s who they wanted you to be. The only person I want you to be is Ramsey. You have to decide who that is. If you truly don’t feel comfortable, I won’t pressure you, but don’t let something those assholes said to you keep you from having a good time.”
She nods and gives me a smile that’s forced and doesn’t reach her eyes.
“You’re beautiful, Ramsey. Not just your body, but your heart and your mind. Don’t let them keep holding you back. Be you.” I pause, giving her time to process what I just said. “Now, tell me, do you want to swim?”
“I do. I love to swim.” This time her smile is brighter.
“Take this off,” I say gruffly, pulling at the sheer black cover-up hiding her body from me. “I want to see you.” I move back, giving her the space she needs. I dip under the water to cool myself off. Not from the heat of the sun, well, that too, but from being so close to her. When I emerge, she’s sitting on the edge of the pool in a black bikini.
I’m moving before I can think better. I grip her hips and pull her into the water with me. Luckily, it’s only about five feet where we are, and I can stand because she wraps her legs around my waist.
“So fucking sexy.” My voice is raspy even to my own ears.
“They’re watching us,” she says, burying her head in my neck.
“Does that bother you?” She doesn’t answer, so I ask her again, “Ramsey, does it bother you that they’re watching us?”
Slowly, she pulls away and lifts her head. Her blue eyes are brighter than the sky over our heads. Instead of giving me her words, she leans in slowly and presses her lips to mine. The kiss is brief, and it speaks volumes. She took what she wanted. She made a choice for herself. Not because she thought it was what I wanted, but because it was what she wanted.
“Not when it’s you.” Her soft reply is only for me, and I don’t know if she means for the words to wrap themselves around my heart, but that’s exactly what they do.
thirteen
Ramsey
I’ve been on dates before but never with a man I actually wanted to be on a date with. Tonight is my first official date, and it’s with Deacon. We texted back and forth all day yesterday, and most of today, and the more time I spend talking to him, the more I like him.
For me, that’s scary and exhilarating at the same time. I feel like a sixteen-year-old girl all over again, only this time, I get to make the decisions. I’m getting to choose the boy, well, in this case, the man, and I’m giddy. That’s the only way to describe myself.
I’ve changed my outfit three times already, and I’m desperate enough to break down and call my best friend. “Help,” I beg as soon as she answers the video call.
“What am I helping with?”
“I don’t know what to wear.”
Her eyes soften. “Ramsey, take a deep breath,” she instructs, and I do as she says. “Now, slowly exhale.” Again, I do as I’m told. “There. Now, he’s going to like you in anything. He’s into you. Don’t think too much about this.”
“How can I not, Palmer? This is the first time I’ve gotten to choose my date. This is a big deal. I don’t have much to offer him. He’s older, successful, and handsome, and he has his shit together. I’m a twenty-two-year-old who works three jobs and ran from her parents and her abusive ex-boyfriend.” The truth of my anxiety tumbles freely from my lips.
“Let’s dissect that, shall we?” She holds up one finger. “First of all, so there are a few years or ten between the two of you. Who cares? You’re mature, and you’re both into each other. That’s inconsequential. Second,” She holds up a second finger, “you are the epitome of successful. You left the only home you’d ever known, moved to a new town to stay with family you barely knew, and look at where you are. You have your own place, a nice dependable car, and money in the bank. You’ve done all of that, Ramsey. You’re a hard worker, dedicated, and you’re a fighter.” She holds up a third finger. “Third, you’re beautiful. I hate that what they did to you made you think otherwise, and I hate that you’re too caught up in shying away from others that you don’t see the way men look at you. I hate that you don’t see the way that my brother looks at you.”
A month ago, I would have pushed her words to the back of my mind, not allowing myself to believe them. Today, however, they hit differently. They cause hope to bloom in my chest and warmth to fill my soul. When will I let myself realize that this is my life? I’m not what my father wanted me to be. I’m so much more.