“And now?” I take a drink of my sweet tea.
“Now, I realize that what my parents, and my sisters, and even my buddies have been telling me is true. I’m working my life away. I don’t want to wake up in another ten years and have nothing to show for my life but a career. I want a family of my own.”
“You want kids?”
“I do. And a wife.” His eyes hold mine, and I try really hard not to squirm under his gaze. “Do you want kids? A husband?”
“It was always just assumed that I would marry Robert and give him an heir. It wasn’t something I wanted with him, but that was what my parents would have demanded if they’d managed to get me down the aisle with him. The choice was never mine. When I told my father that I refused to marry Robert, things got… heated, and that’s the night I left.”
“And now?”
“Yeah, I want kids. I want to be better than my parents. I want to show my kid or kids that they’re loved and that the sky is the limit to what they can do.”
“And the husband?” His voice is gruff.
You.
A vision of life with him by my side flashes through my mind. “I want a man who will love me and honor me. I want someone who will stand beside me and let me make my own choices. I want someone who is in my corner always but still not afraid to tell me when I’m wrong.” I quickly clamp my mouth shut when it dawns on me that I’ve basically just described Deacon.
“Do you plan on staying in Willow River?” he asks. There is a slight tilt to his lips, and at first, I worry that he knows I was describing him, but then I remember I’ve asked for honesty and have vowed to give it in return.
“I am. This is my home now. There’s nothing for me to go back to in New York.”
“Here you go. A pizza burger and fries.” The waitress sets a plate in front of Deacon. “And a bacon cheeseburger and cheese sticks for you. Can I get you all anything else?”
“Rams?” Deacon asks.
“No. Thank you, this is perfect.” I smile at the waitress.
“I’ll be back to check on you,” she says and scurries away.
“I can’t believe we’re eating at a place that serves burgers and fries for a date.”
“Were you hoping for something fancier?”
“No. Not at all. This is… everything I ever wanted. I just wanted to be normal. I didn’t like having to be ‘on’ all the time. Image was everything to Donald and Angela Smithfield.”
“I was hoping you would like this place. I went back and forth about where to take you and what we should do, but from our conversations, I just wanted to give you a little piece of what you missed out on.”
“Thank you, Deacon. This is perfect. I can’t think of a better night. Ever.”
A lazy smile tilts his lips. I avert my gaze and focus on my food before I just sit and stare at him the rest of the night. It’s so easy to get lost in his gorgeous honey-colored eyes.
“Well, what did you think?” he asks.
“I loved it. I’ve not seen any of the others, but I need to.”
“My girl has been sheltered,” he teases, wrapping an arm around my waist and guiding us to his car.
“I work three jobs,” I remind him as he opens the door for me. Always the perfect gentleman, even when no one is watching. He waits for me to be belted in before closing the door.
“Is that a ‘need to’ thing? Or just a ‘security’ thing?” he asks once we’re on the road.
“A little of both, I guess. I have a good nest egg, but I never want to be in the position of needing to rely on someone else for my basic needs. If Aunt Carol and Uncle Raymond hadn’t taken me in, I don’t know what I would have done.”
“I hate even thinking about the way you were treated and the life you were living, but I can’t hate that it brought you here to Willow River. To me,” he adds, glancing over before putting his focus back on the road.
“I know this sounds terrible, but I don’t even miss them. My parents, I mean. Or Robert, for that matter. I just… They were never good to me. No matter how hard I tried to be what they wanted me to be, they just didn’t care about me.”
“You know you’re not alone, right?” he asks. “Ramsey, you will never be alone again. I know with absolute certainty that the Kincaid clan will never let that happen. They’re good people. I’m not sure where the relation comes in. I don’t know if it’s your mom’s side or your dad’s, but they are nothing like the family you left behind. You have Palmer, and you have me.”
I nod because there is a lump in my throat. I know it’s dark in the car, and he can’t see me, so instead, I reach over and place my hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. Without taking his eyes off the road, he links our fingers together, placing a tender kiss on my knuckles before resting our joined hands on his muscular thigh.
The remainder of the drive is quiet but comfortable. In fact, I’ve never felt this overwhelming sense of calm with anyone else.
When we pull into my apartment complex, he rushes around the door to open mine. It’s weird to have a man do it when no one is watching. The only time Robert ever did anything remotely nice for me was when it was for show. I shouldn’t compare the two, but they’re light-years away as far as their differences go. It’s just going to take some getting used to.
“Thank you for tonight,” I say when we reach my door. “Do you want to come in?” I offer. I’m nervous, but I’m not ready for the night to end.
“Yes. But I won’t,” he quickly adds. “I don’t trust myself to not want to take things further, and we’re not there yet.”
“What if I said that we were?”
He leans in and kisses just below my ear. “You’re making it really hard for me to be a gentleman.”
“Is that what you are?” I ask.
“That’s what you deserve.”
“It’s okay if you don’t want me or if you’ve changed your mind,” I blurt.
“Ramsey, baby.” He takes my hand and places it over his very hard cock. Heat pools between my thighs. “I want you. I’ve never wanted a woman the way that I want you, and I’m so proud of you for asking me in, but I want to do this right. You’re not a sleep-with-the-guy-on-a-first-date kind of girl, and I know that anything worth having is worth waiting for.”
“What if I want to be?” I challenge. I’m not sure where this confidence is coming from. The only explanation I can come up with is that it’s him. Deacon gives me strength.
“Do you?”
“I had such a good time. I’m not ready for the night to end.”
“Tomorrow night.”
“What about it?”
“Instead of going out, we can have dinner at my place. That will give us more time together, just the two of us.”
“That’s a long time from now.” I don’t know what I’m saying because he’s right. I’m not the kind of woman who jumps into bed with her date on the first night. I’m also not the type to be so vocal about what I want or how I’m feeling. All courtesy of the man standing before me.