“This… Well, Deacon. He’s the first thing I’ve wanted for me, and more than stability, for a very long time. I have all these emotions coursing through me. I’ve never had a guy affect me this way. I’ve never had them want to spend time with me and me with them in return.”
“Show me what you have on.”
Propping the phone up on my nightstand, I take a step back. “This is my third attempt.”
“You know I love that dress. Shoes?” she asks.
“I was thinking of my brown strappy sandals.” Walking away, I grab them from my closet and hold them up. The dress I’m wearing has a high neck and cutouts for the arms. The pattern is paisley, in dark blue, oranges, reds, and cream. It goes well with my dark hair, and the brown sandals match it perfectly.
“Ramsey, you look beautiful. I’m confident that the other two outfits were perfect too. Don’t try too hard. Just be you. If Deacon doesn’t see how incredible you are, then you don’t need him. I don’t care that he’s my brother. If he’s too blind to see what’s in front of him, then good riddance.”
“I really want him to see what’s in front of him,” I whisper, but I know she hears me.
“Just be you, Ramsey. It’s impossible not to want to be around you.” As soon as she says the words, there’s a knock at my door.
“He’s here.”
“Go. Have fun. And I want to hear all about it.”
“Thank you.” I blow her a kiss, end the call, grab my phone and sandals, and rush out of my bedroom. Pulling open the door, my breath escapes my lungs. Deacon is dressed in a black button-down, which is rolled up at the sleeves, and a pair of dark-washed jeans that appear to be made just for him if the way they’re molded to his thighs is any indication. His hair looks as though he’s run his hands through it multiple times. It makes me want to reach up and do the same.
“You’re beautiful.” The words come easy to him, and he takes a step forward. Slowly, he slides his arm around my waist and presses his lips to my cheek.
“Thank you. You too. I mean, you look handsome.”
He smiles, and a swarm of butterflies takes flight in my belly.
“Are you ready to go?”
“Yes. I just need to put these on.” I hold up my sandals. “Come on in.” I back away, giving him room to enter my apartment. Taking a seat on the edge of the couch, I make quick work of strapping on my sandals. I grab my small clutch and make sure I have everything I need, adding my cell phone before closing it. “Ready.” I glance up to find him watching me. He just stands there, staring at me. “Deacon?”
“Sorry, I’m just trying to tell myself that devouring you is off the table tonight. You really do look incredible, Rams, and it’s been too long since I’ve laid eyes on you.”
“You saw me Saturday.”
“It’s Monday. That’s too long.” In two long strides, he’s once again standing in front of me. He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I told myself I was going to be a gentleman. I want more from you than your kisses, but I also crave them.”
“You want to kiss me?”
“Very much.”
“I’d like that,” I confess.
That’s the only encouragement he needs. His lips are soft and warm yet firm at the same time. His hand glides behind my neck as he pulls me closer. His scent surrounds me, and I have to grip the front of his shirt to keep from falling over. His kiss literally makes my knees weak.
Too soon for my liking, he’s ending the kiss. “We should go. If we don’t, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”
His words cause a tingle to race down my spine, yet it’s not from fear but from the heat behind his words and the need that I have for him racing through my veins.
I want to tell him that we can stay in, and I would be fine with that. However, a bigger part of me wants this date. I want this experience, and I want to share it with Deacon. “I’m ready,” I tell him.
He nods and, with his hand on the small of my back, guides me out of my apartment. We stop just outside the door so I can make sure it’s locked before he leads me to his car. “Where’s your truck?”
“I started to drive it. The thought of you climbing up in it in a dress was both torture and pleasure. Torture won. No way am I risking any other man seeing you but me.”
“You could have helped me,” I tease. It’s not something I’ve done with dates in the past, and it feels foreign, but then again, with Deacon it feels right. I’m a walking contradiction.
“Yeah, I thought about that too, but I was missing you and knew I needed to keep a level head. My hands on you won’t help with that.”
“You seemed to separate from me okay at my place,” I say as he opens the door for me.
“Trust me, darlin’, there was nothing easy about it.” He waits until I’m strapped in before shutting the door and rounding the car.
“So, where are we going?” I ask once we’re on the road.
“I thought we could drive over to Harris, have dinner, and see a movie. You mentioned that dating wasn’t really something you got to do or choose, and something tells me that the fuckstick you were dating didn’t plan outings to please you.”
“I’ve never done dinner and a movie. Not on a date. With friends, but looking back, they were never my true friends, not like Palmer is to me. They wanted to be with me because of my last name and my parents’ money.”
He reaches over and places his hand on my bare thigh. “I’m here for you, Ramsey. Just you.”
We manage to have easy conversation the remainder of the drive to Harris. We talk about college, and it’s easy to say that his experience was different than mine. We talk about our families, his and mine. Both the ones I left behind and the ones I have in Willow River.
“So tell me, what do you see yourself doing? If you could have any career, what would it be?”
This is the second time he’s asked me this question, and I still don’t have an answer. I need to give my future some real thought. I need to look past the security that I’ve built for myself and think about what else lies ahead. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ve always known that the choice wasn’t mine to make, so I never let myself dream of anything different.”
Deacon is sitting across from me at the restaurant. We’ve ordered our meals and are just waiting for our drinks. “I think you should give yourself some time to consider what you really want. Not just as a career but out of life. I know meeting you has put things into perspective for me.”
“How so?” It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that meeting me could have that kind of impact on his life. That dating me has given him any kind of new perception on life and his career.
“I’m a workaholic.” He flashes me a grin. “You can even tell Palmer that I admitted it. I was so focused on making something of myself. My parents lived paycheck to paycheck growing up, and I didn’t want that. Don’t get me wrong, we never wanted for anything, and my sisters and I all went to college, but I still just wanted more. When I was hired at Patrick and Gordman, they were talking about retiring in a few years. I wanted to prove to them that I was someone they could trust their years of hard work with. I wanted to be the only logical candidate when it came time for that to happen.”