“I overreacted,” he says. “I was panicked and I cut you down. It wasn’t fair. What happened to Andy could’ve happened on my watch, too. I was scared and I blamed you. I’m sorry.”
My heart skips.
I’ve been wanting to hear this for days.
Tell me you care about us.
Say you want me to move back in.
He’s silent, and the hope filling my lungs fades.
“Sure, Daniel. I forgive you. I’m not big on grudges. Gives you premature lines.” I push the bunny back into his hands and grab my bag.
He frowns. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true. Women care about aging, but I don’t think there’s shame in it—”
“What I mean is, don’t shut down on me.”
He gets ahead of me in the hall, cutting me off.
I toss my head. “How’s tenure going?”
His hands fist, frustrated at the change of subject. “It was going well until… I was about to call you when I got your voicemail. The talk went great. And it was your idea.”
Daniel’s gaze searches my face. There’s a sadness in him, and a longing.
“I’m glad.” I swallow, fighting to keep the emotion from my voice.
I brush past him and start toward the living room.
He grabs my hand. “Kat, please.”
Tell me you need me. You want me.
Tell me this has been the best two months of your life. Because it’s been the best two months of mine.
“I need to give you something.” He disappears into the house and returns a moment later. He presses a slip of paper into my hand. “For the rest of the semester.”
I stare at the check.
I want to tell him to go fuck himself.
I want to tell him I never needed the money, that I didn’t want to be alone and he already gave me a place to stay and more.
But if I stay like this until I decide which of those to tell him, I’m going to cry, and I don’t want to cry in front of him.
So I shove the check in the back pocket of my jeans. “Goodbye, Daniel."
Liv: Someone’s here to see you
I arrive back at their place to find a tall man at the door and nearly drop my schoolbag.
“Clay?!”
He turns and grins. “Wanted to check on you.”
“But you have a game this weekend.”
“Tomorrow in New York. Needed a detour and you still have Find my Phone turned on.”
He folds me in his arms and I exhale hard.
“Let me take you for dinner,” he says. “Or we can get takeout. You won’t even have to fight off the fangirls.”
My lips twitch for the first time all day. “I could use a fight.”
In the end, we get takeout.
Clay’s still recognized a few times when we pick up the food. He signs a handful of quiet autographs but doesn’t pose for selfies.
Back at his hotel, we shut the door and eat.
“There’s something I need to say to you,” I start.
He looks up, surprised.
I tell him everything.
My roommates moving out.
The nanny gig.
Grad school and my professor.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you all of that,” I finish. “But we don’t talk. We haven’t really talked in years.”
Clay shifts forward. “It’s my fault Mom and Dad weren’t there when you got sick. Hell, it’s my fault it happened in the first place. I was the one playing games and tournaments all the time.”
I sigh. “It wasn’t your fault. They chose to follow you all over the country. Same with their work—it was an excuse. They don’t like weakness. I think they were afraid it would rub off on them.”
“You’re a lot of things, Kat. Weak isn’t one of them.”
My eyes burn and he rubs a hand through my hair like we’re kids again.
He reaches for his phone.
“What are you doing?”
“What I should’ve done a long time ago. Looking out for you.”
I grab the phone from his hand. “I don’t want your money, dumbass! I never did.”
His brows pull together as he tries to wrestle it back.
He wins, because he’s six-five and a professional athlete.
I’m five-eight and a professional lecture-sitter-inner.
But when we’re done, we’re both flat on our backs.
“All I wanted was you,” I grunt at the ceiling.
Clay huffs out a breath next to me. “Basketball was something I could focus on. Stick my head in the sand when shit got rough. I told myself it was the most important thing I could do. That it would help you in the long run if I made it pro, but now I’ve made it and you won’t let me help you.”
I roll onto my side to face him. “You left me. You weren’t there for me, and it hurt.”
His face contorts in profile. “I was selfish. College was rough—not like what you went through, but I had my own shit going on. I couldn’t fix you and I hated that. So I withdrew and focused more on my own stuff, the things I could control.”
My brother was a kid, too. I never asked what was going on for him.
I sit up and cross my legs. “I just wanted you there. Not because I needed saving, but I wanted my big brother next to me.”
He straightens and wraps me in his arms.
“I’m late, but I’m here now.”
I huff a breath against his shoulder. “You want to tell me what shit you were going through?”
“Some other time.”
I nod. We’ve got enough to talk about tonight.
“I’m still sending you money,” he murmurs. “You can burn it if you won’t spend it.”
“How can I burn a digital transfer?”
“You’d have to cash it first.”
I snort.
“Oh, and Mom liked the bracelet.”
“She texted me to say thanks. Did you get the Pandora or the Cartier?”
“Fuck if I know.”
I laugh until my shoulders rock and my stomach hurts.
“Come to the game tomorrow. I’ll get you killer seats, and we can hang out after.”
“Deal.”
33
DANIEL
“Professor. We’ve reviewed your tenure package.” The head of the committee looks at me across the polished table in the dean’s meeting room.
Since arriving at Russell U, I did everything right.
Threw myself into learning how to be the best teacher and researcher I could be. I never missed a deadline.
Never even questioned why I wanted to do this except to provide for my kid.
The stuffed rabbit Andy gave me for good luck is stashed in my briefcase. He made me promise to take it for my important day.
“Your record has been exemplary. Your application was successful. Congratulations, Professor.”
It’s done.
I’m in.
Respect, prestige, and nearly unlimited freedom are all mine.
I’ve pushed the rock uphill when so many other aspiring faculty have failed.
“As you know, this comes with a significant pay raise. You’ll be eligible for an office in the old wing of the building. And, of course, have your pick of classes to teach.”