“But I’m innocent,” he screamed as they led him out.
Kelly couldn’t help connecting to his desperate outburst. Something about his voice and demeanor made her wonder if he was telling the truth.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Rolling his shoulders in weariness, Jason set his dirty clothes in his go bag, a dull headache pulling at the backs of his eyes. He had slept last night, curled up next to Kelly, but it had been fitful and added to his lack of sleep from interrogating Dr. Blake the night before. The day had been filled with staring at a computer screen, writing up reports, then filing the paperwork all the while questioning this case.
Sure, there was a mountain of evidence against the man, but it all seemed so…pat. Not to mention, Blake was a man of creature comforts and Jason didn’t peg him for the kind of brutality it would take to do what this killer had done.
But the case was closed, and they had their suspect.
He and Davis had backlogged cases on their desks waiting for them. With the serial killer case buttoned up, he would be heading back to his CGIS desk, seeing less of Kelly at work, and no longer her bodyguard, at home.
But that wasn’t what was causing him problems. With no reason to stay at her place, he wondered where they stood. It was his personal relationship with Kelly that concerned him the most. He wasn’t in any shape to discuss it with her right now. He didn’t want to be irrational here. It was important to him to make the right decisions for the right reasons, not necessarily the easy reasons. He had never shirked his responsibility, and it gutted him to even consider going against the grain.
He needed to get away, get some distance and bounce the ideas off his mom. She was always a good listener and had never been biased in her life…well, except where his dad was concerned.
She’d never been able to slip that noose. Jason was fairly certain she wasn’t seeing him romantically anymore, although he was convinced that she still loved him. Jason would like to see her move on. Find someone she could invest in. But pressuring someone to think his way was counterproductive. Not that she wouldn’t value his opinions, there were just some things that were too personal, too deeply embedded in the heart to be extracted, too painful to influence.
And, he was biased…toward his dad.
On the one hand, his dad had been there for him on many occasions, never missed one of his games in high school, was a great resource of advice and help when he’d decided on the Coast Guard, and he’d showed up in Kodiak when he’d torn his rotator cuff.
That had thrown Jason for a loop.
How could he do all those things as a father, but never acknowledge him as his son?
That and his confusion and fear were fucking with his ability to think clearly.
He had to get away for just a short period of time.
The weekend. That was all.
The door opened and Kelly came into the room. He glanced over at her and saw her stop dead in her tracks, her eyes widening with surprise, and the look that swept across her face left him feeling pretty much gutted. He straightened, his gaze locking on hers, then in a gruff voice, he said, “Babe.”
She stared at him for an instant, then made a flustered gesture with one hand toward his bag. “Y-you’re leaving?”
“Yes.”
She continued to stare at him, then she made a quarter turn and covered her eyes with her hand, and her chest heaved. In two steps he closed the space between them, and he caught her by the back of the neck. “Only for the weekend…God, Kelly, don’t cry,” he said roughly.
“I knew this was coming,” she said into the strained silence, his jaw tightening when he felt how tense she was. “I know we have complex problems to resolve, but I want to resolve them. I’m not running away again.”
He pressed her ashen face against his shoulder. She had been so damned important to him, and he’d lost her and Kiko. He was desperate to feel her against him. There was no recovering their past. It was all over and done with. It was all about the present and the future that was in question. Her chest heaved again, and she pressed her face tighter against him, then on another uneven breath, she slid her arms around his waist and held on for dear life.
Trying to ease the sudden knot in his throat, he tightened his arms around her and rested his head on top of hers, the hard wad of tension in his belly finally letting go. He gave her a few moments to regain her equilibrium, then he began rubbing her back. It took about thirty seconds, but she finally went slack against him. She took another deep breath as he ran his other hand up her neck, under her hair.
His voice was low when he murmured, “I’m not running either, babe. I swear. I just need some time to unfuck my head and get everything into perspective. I’m just going to Mission Hills to see my mom. She’s a great sounding board, and I want to tell her everything…about you, about Kiko, about our dilemma.”
She nodded and flattened her hands against his back. Experiencing a flurry of emotions, he tucked his head tighter against hers and caressed the base of her skull with his thumb, her hair like silk against his hand. Waiting for the thickness in his chest to settle, he continued to stroke her neck, wishing like hell he knew how to reassure her.
He gave them both a minute, then eased his hold a little and shifted her head so he could see her face. She looked hesitant and very fragile, her eyes revealing her uncertainty and fear.
He had to go for humor. “So, what’s it going to be, Wholigan?” He deliberately used the affectionate nickname from her job, trying to ground her a little, ease the strain and not make it such a big deal he was going to be absent for a couple of days, even though it was a big deal. “Unless you’ve got that magical phonebooth…the Tardis…tucked away somewhere on your sweet body, I’ve got to get going.” He was gratified for the effect it had on her. Deepening his smile into a grin, he lowered his voice into a soft whisper. “Yes?”
For the first time since she’d reappeared in his life, he saw a glimmer of dry humor in her eyes. He was so proud of her. She was being the brave woman he knew she was. “You are so transparent, but thank you for that.”
He chuckled and rested his arms on her hips, determined to recover what they’d had this last week.
As if she was afraid of what he would see in her eyes, she dropped her gaze. “Two days,” she whispered.
Jason gazed down at her bent head, her hair shining like satin in the bedroom light, and his chest got tight all over again. “Two days,” he answered, his voice husky.