He closes his eye, pressing his nose into mine. “I hear you,” he whispers against my lips. “But this risk isn’t an easy one, and I like easy.”
I move my bottom lip with his. “But aren’t the best things in life not easy?”
He curves his lips as he moves his nose along mine. “I think my dad has said that a time or two.”
“Exactly. Believe me, Ash, I’m the risk you want to take.”
“You don’t have to convince me, Ally,” he says earnestly, and his eye tells me he means his words. “At all. But still, I’m so used to hiding myself and the part that feels things, that I’m worried when I let them out, you’ll be scared away.”
I tilt my head to the side. “Or I’ll fall so deeply for you, I won’t see any other way out.”
He smiles as he wraps his fingers around my wrist. “That doesn’t freak you out?”
“No, ’cause I want it,” I say simply. “You’ve always wanted a relationship. Why don’t you try a real, loving one?”
He exhales hard. “I was in one back at the volleyball court,” he says and I grin, sliding my thumb along his bottom lip. “But you’ll have to be patient.”
I scoff. “Believe me, I’m a pro at patience. Just look how long I’ve waited for you.”
“I wish you hadn’t,” he says softly. “I wish we had done this sooner. Maybe then I wouldn’t be how I am today.”
“It wasn’t our time. Now, it is.”
Something shifts in his eye, and I feel it all over. I know what I feel is true. I also know that when he allows himself to feel what I am feeling, fear will be a thing of the past. I can be patient because I know my forever and a day is in my hands.
I just need him to catch up.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ally
When I get to my dorm, I’m on cloud nine.
I’ve had some good sex in my very short life—while Taco is a dipshit bastard, he was still good in bed—but nothing, and I’m not saying this because I love the dude, compares to Asher. I can still taste his skin, feel his fingers on me. And when he bit my ankle? It was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. The way he sank his teeth into my skin brought out some crazy Twilight fantasies, but I’m not a teenager and I don’t want Edward Cullen. No, I want Asher Brooks. All of Asher. Okay, maybe I am a bit partial, but holy hell, he makes me feel amazing.
I swear Asher loved every inch of me. Every. Single. Inch. If there was something he could lick or touch, he was doing just that. He wanted me. Fully. And that was an experience. I think maybe that’s why it was so great with Asher. Between the fact that we know and care for each other, he worshiped my body, my mind, and my soul. Shit. It was amazing, and whoo-wee, I want more. So much more and I get to have more when I go back to his place.
But going back to his place, even though I promised I would, has me hesitating. I don’t want to overstay my welcome, but I want to be with him. I hate that I get like this. It’s obvious he wants to see me. Even before we started burning up the sheets, he wanted to hang with me all the time. I don’t think I’m overstaying, but honestly, I really don’t care if I am.
I just want to be with him.
All of him. Naked. Dressed. Gray sweat pants. I’m down for anything. As long as it includes him, his mouth, and us. I love us. I love him. Oh my, I sound like a love-sick teenager… I feel like one too. What a feeling. It’s unreal. For so long, I wanted this, wanted Asher because he filled me with such happiness even only as a friend. I’ve also seen him be a boyfriend, and he is incredible. So tentative and kind.
But wait… He was like that, and he never really loved his past girlfriends? What in the world? That blows my ever-loving mind. How? How did he do that? How did he keep himself so detached? When a guy would smile my way, I looked like a puppy about to get a treat. I’d latch, fall in love, and boom! Brokenhearted within weeks. I want so badly to have it all. My person and my career, just like my mom. But Asher has kept that part of him locked up. That’s unreal to me. I know hiding my feelings for him was rough all these years, but for him, he’s never let himself feel for anyone.
No wonder he resisted me so well.
Not that I’m saying I’m all that, but you can always find me with some Doritos.
Aw, Asher would appreciate that pun.
I grin as I park his car in my space. He makes me all giddy, but I’m still curious about this not loving people thing. It’s hard to believe. He almost married Jasmine. What is his deal? I shake my head as I get out of the car, locking it behind me. Before I can start for the dorm, though, my phone rings. I get it out of my purse and see it’s Fallon.
Why am I scared?
I answer. “Hello?”
“Hey, hun. Are you with my son?”
“No, ma’am. I’m on campus.”
“Crap, I have his phone.”
“I know. He asked me to come get it from you.”
“Okay. Don’t you have a game tonight?”
“Yup,” I say, all pleased she knows. It makes me feel special.
“Awesome. I’ll go pick him up, and we’ll head there. Can you send him a smoke signal?”
I snort. “I’ll send him a message. I left my iPad there.” Shit, I shouldn’t have said that.
Without missing a beat, Fallon says, “You’re the best. Thank you, sweetheart.”
“No problem. See you later,” I say, and just like that, she hangs up.
O…kay…
I fully expected questions, demands, about why my iPad is there. But I guess it’s normal behavior for us. I blink twice at my phone and then hit my messaging app that is set up to message Asher on my iPad.
Me: Your mother called. She’ll pick you up before the game. Six o’clock. Also, I don’t think she suspects anything.
He doesn’t answer back, so I head inside. I say hi to some of my teammates before rushing upstairs to my room. When I get there, the door is open, and Angie is lying on the bed, typing on her computer.
“Hey,” I say happily as I grab my backpack. “I wish I could stay and chat, but I gotta go.”
She sends me a forced grin. The only reason I know that is because I’ve seen her real smile, and that is not it. Unable to handle that since I know I brought Taco around her, I head out. “Quick thing!” she calls to me.
I am already out the door, but I poke my head back in. “Yes?”
“I got into that program in South Carolina. I’m moving after the season is done.”
“Oh.” I lean into the doorway, and while it sucks because I don’t want her to leave, I know it’s for the best. She’s wanted to get into that program; she wants to help athletes with addiction. It’s admirable. Also, it will give her a fresh start. “That’s amazing, Angie. I’m so proud of you.”
“Really? You aren’t upset?”
“I would be if you left me midseason.” I wink. “But no, girl. This is huge. You’ve wanted this. I am over the moon for you.”
Thankfully, she sends me a huge grin. “You haven’t heard anything back about your application?”