‘And so are you.’
A moment of silence descended slowly and awkwardly.
‘That came out so entirely wrong,’ Seb said eventually, one large hand now covering his eyes.
I was trying to keep a straight face, but it was a battle I was quickly losing. Even through the screen, I could feel the mortification radiating off him in waves, and there was a spot of high colour on each cheek. In all of the time I’d known him, I’d never seen Seb flummoxed or stuck for words.
‘I can’t believe I just said that,’ he said, his eyes still covered, elbow resting on the pale wood of his desk.
‘Don’t worry about it, honestly.’ I suddenly wished, not for the first time, I was in the same room as him so that I could gently remove that hand and smile into those eyes that always made me think of melting milk chocolate and reassure him. ‘I know you didn’t mean it how it sounded and, frankly, even that’s pretty polite compared to some of the stuff I’ve heard over the past year.’
He peeked out between two fingers. ‘Then it’s definitely a good job you refrained from telling me about those.’
I gave a nod of agreement.
‘Am I forgiven?’ he asked.
‘For saying I’m doable?’ I grinned.
He gave me a look that was part embarrassment at himself, part exasperation at me, and altogether way too attractive for ten o’clock in the morning on my first day back at work in a new year. ‘Accidentally.’
‘Yes. You are.’
‘Thank you. And what I meant to say is that you are worth all the effort in helping you find whatever it is that you need to make yourself happy.’
‘I’m not unhappy. Honestly. I’m just… well, after last year I’m just exhausted. I know Jess meant well with her plans and, after a while, she did convince me that it could be a good thing. And we did have some fun times. But, on the whole, it was just too full on for me. That much activity could have been happily spread over three years and been enough. And, obviously, with Jess finding the love of her life rather unexpectedly partway through, I felt a bit of gooseberry at times.’
‘So why did you carry on?’
‘Because if I hadn’t it would have felt like giving up.’
One corner of his mouth rose in amusement. ‘And you call me stubborn.’
‘You are.’
‘And you’re not?’
‘Not in general, no.’
‘I think you’ve got more of that trait than you think.’
I opened my mouth to protest, but Seb held up a hand. ‘It’s not a bad thing. Sometimes we need a bit of determination. Look at how far it’s brought you with running your own business, sticking out a year of challenges just to prove to yourself you can do it, and now having the gumption to turn round and start saying no to people.’
‘Gumption. That’s a good word.’
‘It is a good word. Sometimes it feels like there’s not a lot of it about these days and then someone like you comes along and surprises me.’
‘Especially when I have Wotsits in my hair.’
‘I reckon you could pull it off.’
‘Maybe.’
‘So, what’s the actual plan with this year?’
‘Basically saying no to stuff I don’t want to do, and just taking time for myself and doing the things I want to, rather than letting all my free time get sucked into stuff I feel obliged to do. I really only came up with the idea last night, so I haven’t quite figured all the details out yet.’
‘But you already have a tonne of books on order?’
‘Arriving later today. I don’t hang around.’
‘No, I’ve learned that. It’s why the charity has only become more and more efficient and effective since I hired you as my virtual assistant.’
I laughed. ‘As flattering as that is, I don’t think I can take that credit.’
‘Nope. It’s true. Before I found you, I knew what I wanted to do, and I was doing it, but I was also drowning in paperwork, real and virtual, and getting more and more frustrated because I knew if the charity was run more efficiently, we could be helping more people. And then there you were. The rest is history.’
‘Well, I’m glad you took a chance on me too. As for what else is on the list, I’ll have to come back to you on that.’
‘If you need a hand, then just give me a shout. I’d love to be able to help.’
‘I will. I promise. Although I have decided on one thing. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for ages, actually, but then Jess came up with that crazy idea for last year and I knew it wouldn’t work, but now I think it’s perfect.’
‘And what’s that?’
‘I’m getting a dog!’
3
The following Saturday morning I was sat in the waiting room of the local rescue centre, glancing nervously at a connecting door every few seconds. If only I’d had the same level of excitement on any of the dates I’d had in the past year as I did now. And then he was there, trotting along on the lead and heading straight for me, his fuzzy body wiggling and wriggling as he rested his paws up on my leg and pressed his little head into my hand as I gave him all the rubs and cuddles I could. He was mostly toy poodle, a little miniature schnauzer, and a dash of mystery, but clearly all heart and cuddles.
‘I think we can say he definitely likes you,’ the kennel assistant laughed as I picked the little dog up and snuggled him into me, whereupon he nuzzled into the crook of my arm and made himself comfortable, surveying the waiting room and looking for all the world as if he was right where he was supposed to be. And that was exactly how it felt. My year of saying no was beginning with most definitely saying yes to this little boy.
‘You really called him Humphrey?’ Seb asked, grinning at the little fuzzy face now peering at him through the screen. ‘Is that even legal?’
I covered Humph’s soft ears with my hands. ‘Don’t listen to the big mean man. He’s just jealous.’
‘You’re not wrong, there. He looks like he’s being thoroughly spoiled.’
‘In a good way.’
‘Of course. We all need a bit of spoiling from time to time.’
I glanced up from popping Humphrey back in his soft bed down by my feet, where he was now busy walking round in circles to find the exact point which would be the comfiest. From observation, this usually took him three or four turns. Right on cue, he plopped down with a contented sigh and within moments was snoring gently. ‘I guess we do.’
‘So, he’s settling in OK?’
Seb had been travelling on business quite a lot over the last few weeks, raising the profile of the charity and taking on a keynote speech at a conference in America. We’d spoken by message on and off, but this was our first proper catch-up for work in three weeks.
‘He is. I was a bit worried how he’d be as the rescue place thinks he’d been abandoned and had lived on the streets for a short while before some kind soul brought him in to them. But he’s so chilled. It’s brilliant. He loves his toys and walks but seems happy to just sit curled up with me when I’m reading or working.’