“Junie, I’ll give you whatever you want. You’ll live the life you’ve always wanted to live. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Cash, how do you know you’re capable of giving me the life I want when you don’t even know what that entails?”
“’Cuz, I’ll spend the rest of my life tryin’ to succeed ’til I finally do.”
I smiled. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” I brought my hand up to brush a strand of hair away from his eyes. “But still ... I can’t marry you now, Cash. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to see where this—us—can go. I care about you. Deeply. You know that. I’m here for you. We’re best friends, remember?”
He grinned, his eyes shining bright against the morning sun. My response seemed to appease him for the time being. His intense gaze lessened, replaced with a blaze I was all too familiar with. This undeniable attraction between us.
It was mesmerizing.
All consuming.
Thrilling and yet terrifying.
I wanted Johnny Cash McGraw. I always had. Since I was a little girl, he was mine. I never thought he’d turn into a different person. This new man, the rock star, the legend, I didn’t know him. He scared me. And I was quickly learning they were two different people.
Night and day.
Jekyll and Hyde.
Oil and water.
Johnny and Cash?
Still, the irresistible connection I always knew was there was alive and thriving between us. Even as a little girl, Cash understood me. I understood him. We had this common ground that stemmed from the love of music. At the time, I was a child who had a crush on the boy from down the street.
Now as a woman, it evolved into something else entirely. My boy grew into a man who now wanted me. I was no longer the baby girl in his eyes but the woman he wanted to marry. Maybe he thought I could save him. Fully aware it was exactly what I showed up to do.
No words needed to be exchanged. Cash could read me like the back of his hand.
“So what’s this shit ’bout you comin’ here for me? What was Lars?”
I shrugged, smirking. Allowing him to change the subject. “A ruse.”
“Is that right?”
I nodded. “I was mad at you for never following through on your promises. I guess it was my version of payback.”
He grinned again, placing a hair behind my ear. “My Junie is spiteful, I see.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to knock him unconscious. I still feel bad about that.”
“You’re lucky I only stopped there. Seein’ you in his arms, Journey, after all these years, was like a kick to my fuckin’ balls. You went from this baby girl who loved to dance to my music, to this woman wit’ tits and an ass. Grindin’ on a fuckin’ rock star. Makin’ out wit’ him in front of a crowd. The fuck was that?”
“I wanted to make an impression.”
“Oh, you made quite the impression, Junie.”
“Were you jealous?”
“No. I was too fuckin’ pissed, little girl. How did you meet him?”
“The same way I told you. He did invite me on his tour bus, and I am supposed to be writing an article on touring with a rock band for school. None of that was a lie. I knew you’d be at the festival, and I took a chance you’d see me there. You know,” I sassed, “since Life of Debauchery chooses their groupies first, right?”
He ignored my snarky remark. “And if I hadn’t, would you be sleepin’ in that motherfucker’s bed instead of mine?”
“No. I would’ve found you. I told you, I’m here for you. Come home with me.”
“Junie,” he rasped, licking his lips. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Just ’cuz you think I deserve to be in Bailey’s life, doesn’t mean everyone else will. She’s your brother’s kid, not mine.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t agree. I love my brother, and I love Bailey. She and I have always had a special bond. I know what she deserves, and she has the right to know who you are. I’m not saying you need to tell her the truth. That will come out in time. But you can at least be in her life.”
“I won’t disrespect your brother or Harley like that.”
“You won’t.”
“Does Harley know you’re wit’ me?”
“No.”
“Does your daddy? Jackson? Your family?”
“Umm ... my mom knows.”
He jerked back.
“She’s always liked you. She knows how much you meant to me, how much you still do. She was the one who suggested I come to see you.”
She was.
Little did anyone know how much he’d truly need me.
Until it was too late.
Chapter 4
“I found out there weren’t too many limitations, if I did it my way.”
-Johnny Cash
<>Cash<>
“Your momma told you to come here? For me?”
“Why do you find that so hard to believe?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “The press isn’t very kind to me.”
“I imagine they wouldn’t be, considering you like to break their expensive cameras.”
“Fuck them. You don’t know what it’s like to be hounded by those pieces of shit. Thinkin’ they have the right to know a goddamn thing ’bout me. The tabloids need to make money, and what sells is controversy. We’ve made a career outta our debauchery, but most of the garbage you read is made up bullshit or it’s blown outta proportion to create media mayhem. It’s all part of the limelight. Comes wit’ the territory of bein’ a rock star. I can’t imagine for one second your momma bein’ okay wit’ you in this lifestyle. Are you tellin’ me the truth or blowin’ smoke up my ass to try to convince me to come back wit’ you?”
“Jackson is an NFL god. She knows what the press is capable of. It isn’t what the tabloids are saying about you that gets to us, Cash. It’s the fact that you haven’t come home in over twelve years. The last time anyone saw you in person, you were wiping blood off your mouth. Fighting with your father.”
Truth.
Journey had always been mature, wise beyond her years, an old soul at heart. Only proving it more and more as the days went on.
“What do you know ’bout me and Harley?”
“I know you don’t talk, and you haven’t since Bailey came into the picture. She didn’t tell me why, but I’ve never asked. Although I’ve wanted to hundreds of times. I didn’t want to pry into someone else’s business. If she wanted me to know, she’d tell me.” She paused, preparing herself. “For the longest time, Harley wasn’t herself. She didn’t smile, laugh, or enjoy being around family. She isolated herself, much like you have for all these years. Harley changed, though.”
“When?”
“After Jackson was injured, and they found out the truth about his future.”
I was winded. She stole my goddamn breath right outta my burning lungs. “Your momma,” I whispered, high enough for her to hear. Referring to their biological mom’s illness.
Journey bit, “She’s not my mother.”