“I miss her too.”
“How are things with Nathan? I bet it’s weird, isn’t it?”
You have no idea. “Just a tad. He mostly stays out of my way though. I don’t even know where he is today.”
“Are you getting on?”
Are we? “Yes. There have been a few disagreements,” understatement of the century, “but we’ve moved past them.”
“Why do I feel like you’re not telling me something?”
I just can’t be bothered to go into full details of the tale that is Nathan and Guinevere. It’s too complicated and I wouldn’t even know where to begin. “I’m telling you everything.”
“Okay.” He doesn’t believe me. “I have to go. I’m meeting Zoe in twenty minutes. Keep in touch.” Zoe?
“You too.”
I hang up the phone and walk over to the fridge. I hope he can come down. If he does, I’ll definitely make him a feast fit for a king.
My mind drifts to Nathan and although I’m still angry at him, I’m wondering if he’ll be back for dinner. I text him and ask him, but after an hour I still have no reply.
The fridge is bare and needs restocking urgently. There’s not much in the way of good meal food but what is there is edible.
I’m desperate to do the shopping but Nathan still isn’t back and the sun has finally started to descend. Leaning back, I pick at my meal and casually rub my stomach. Today has been a better day, not a great one, but with the anger I’ve felt it’s helped to keep my mind from the things it seems to like clinging to, such as Caleb and how much I ache for him.
I hate how much easier it’s becoming. It’s still hard, really fucking hard, but it’s not as hard.
The days don’t move as slowly and the pain in my chest isn’t constant. It only comes when I think of him or when I’m reminded of him. The pain is welcome. It reminds me that my life with him was real.
The door opens and shuts with a bang causing me to jump in my seat. Nathan strolls into the room, his tongue teasing his lower lip. He stops in the middle of the room and watches as I uncurl my legs from beneath me. “Get ready, I’m taking you out.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Get ready.”
“Where?” I ask, eyeing him as he turns back into the hall and grabs my jacket off the end of the banister.
“There’s a… just get ready.”
“Fine,” I sigh and allow him to help me with my coat. In seconds we’re outside and I’m being lifted into his car. “Now I’m intrigued.”
He smiles slightly as he climbs into the driver’s seat. “You’ll enjoy it… I hope.”
“Blondie came to see you today,” I announce as the engine starts up.
“Who?”
“Lorna, your girlfriend.”
His smile vanishes, only to be replaced with a frown. “She’s not my girlfriend.”
“Does she know that?”
“Yes.”
“She walked all the way from the village.”
His frown deepens. “Where was her car?”
Shrug. “I asked her the same thing. She didn’t give me an explanation.” I eye him warily for a moment. “Girls only do something like that if they feel more for you than whatever it is you think she feels.”
“She’s just a… we just… she’s not my girlfriend.”
“If you say so.”
“I insist it,” he responds, his tone clipped. “Can we stop talking about her now? How was your day?”
“It was uneventful. We need to go shopping. There is zero food in.”
He sighs and glances at me. “Have you eaten?”
“Yes.”
He chews on his lip for a moment, his eyes nervous. “Does this mean you’re staying?”
Does it? “I… do you want me to?”
His head turns towards me, his eyes determined and set on mine. “Yes.”
“I can’t…” I look away an exhale a long breath. “I can’t keep dealing with your mood swings. Things are…”
“I know. I’ll do my best to stop being the way I’m being. I’m just not used to this.” He gives me a sad smile before looking back to the road. “I’m glad you’re staying.”
Melting a little, I smile to myself. Fingers crossed things get better and stay that way. “Although I don’t know how much longer I’ll last without food.”
“Okay, I’ll do the shopping in the morning.”
Now’s my chance. “Can I come? I’d like to start cooking and baking again. If that’s okay?”
“Sure. But if I say no to something, don’t argue with me on it.”
“Whatever.” My mood just soared a little. “Thank you.”
“How’s the baby? I’m sorry I missed your appointment.”
“I’m not diabetic or anything, thankfully.”
“That’s good then.” He reaches over and places his hand on my bump, shocking the hell out of me. It spreads a warmth across and through me. “Does it kick yet?”
I wet my lips that suddenly dried. “Sometimes, but it mostly just feels like fluttering.” I stare down at his hand. It feels weird and I’m uncertain how to react. It’s not like Nathan to just casually touch me like he’s done it a million times. He pulls back, sensing my discomfort most likely.
“If he starts again, tell me.” He clears his throat and rubs his hand on his thigh. “If that’s okay?”
“Sure.” It’s an unusual request from him but I don’t have a problem with it. “Have your parents been in touch?”
“No and I don’t want you to worry about them. They’re my problem, not yours.” He says this softly, regret evident in his features. “I’m sorry for everything that happened yesterday. I should have protected you. They weren’t supposed to be back for another week.”
I blink in shock at his apology. He’s already apologized. Is that what this is about? “It’s okay, I get it. We all do shitty things when we’re mad.”
His body tenses. “I hate it when you swear.”
Oops. “Sorry,” I mumble and look out of the window. “I didn’t realise until I’d already said it.”
“Try to. It doesn’t suit you.”
Okay then. “Where have you been today? You didn’t respond to my text.”
“Out,” he says and that’s all he says. Why does he have to be so cryptic and closed off? It only makes me even more curious as to what he’s thinking and doing and everything else he could possibly hide in that closed off mind of his.
“Out?”
“As in not in the house.”
“As in the location known as…”
He chuckles, his eyes sparkling in the dark. “Out.”
“You’re so weird.”
His smile widens. “Yes. Probably.”
“Where are we going?”
“Out.”
“Grr,” I growl, wanting to nipple twist him. “You’re so frustrating.”