“I don’t. You deserve your own fame, baby.”
My heart thrilled at the use of the endearment. My fingers slid between two of the buttons on his fine wool flannel shirt and round his hard abs. I’d never seen him wearing flannel before. Jax’s hand roamed up my thigh until it rested on my hip, his thumb rubbing back and forth. Aside from the giant erection beneath me, he showed no outward signs he wanted to take me to bed, but I could feel him struggling. I could feel the tension and adoration in the caress of his lips on my forehead.
“It doesn’t seem important now. If we agree to combining, you’d be able to relax and finish your book without pressure.” I reached up to place soft kisses along his jaw as my fingers continued to explore. “I love you, too,” I whispered. “I don’t care about anything but being with you. I couldn’t be happy knowing your reputation took a hit over this. It wasn’t your fault. Please?”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. You’re all that matters to me.”
Jax sucked in his breath. “I told myself to stay away from you… that you couldn’t handle me, but… I couldn’t.” His hand threaded in the long hair flowing down my back and he began to play with it, sending tingles and shivers racing over every inch of my skin. “You’re mesmerizing, Addison. From the moment I laid eyes on you, then read your words. You’re so beautiful, but it’s your words… they own me.”
I smiled softly at his use of my full name, still cradled in his arms. From others it might sound condescending, but coming from this amazing man, it was sexier than hell. “I felt the same way.”
His mouth took mine and he shifted us both on the couch until I was beneath him and he nudged his knee between mine until he came down on top of me. My lips opened to allow his tongue to explore my mouth fully, even sucking on it to bring it in deeper. My hands explored his strong back and denim clad butt, trying to push beneath the waist band. Thankfully, he wasn’t wearing a belt.
I could feel my body opening in desire. “I want you inside me,” I managed breathlessly, between kisses. “On top of me.”
Jax dragged his mouth from mine until he buried it in my neck, softly kissing and sucking from my jaw to my collar bone. “I just want you. All of you.”
I brushed back his hair when he lifted his head, staring deep into his dark blue eyes, made darker by the lack of light in the room. They sparkled with intensity as he looked down at me. He felt so amazing next to me, on top of me, pressing me into the cushions of the sofa. “You have all of me,” I said with a soft smile, my fingers tracing the side of his face.
“I know we have only known each other a few months, but for the first time ever, when I think of my future it’s more than one book after another. I want to write our own love story with babies and a happy ending. Will you marry me?”
I gasped softly as I took in the gravity of what he’d asked me. I was speechless and he mistook my amazement for trepidation.
“I understand if you want to wait a year or two… but I have to know you’re mine. Now and always.” His voice was filled with emotion, and his eyes were serious and imploring. “I don’t know how to live without you, anymore.”
My eyes flooded with tears and my throat tightened with emotion as my heart swelled to bursting. I didn’t think I could love this man any more than I already did, but seeing him this vulnerable, allowing me inside his heart, was the most incredible feeling I knew I’d ever feel.
My arms tightened around him instantly as tears fell down the sides of my face. “Yes. I don’t care if it’s in an hour or twenty years… yes!” I smiled. “That’s… if I get first billing on the books,” I teased through my tears. I was so euphoric I thought I’d explode in a burst of light.
Jax’s white teeth flashing in the darkness as he laughed happily. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now, how about a little research?” he asked with a wicked grin.
I giggled and nodded gleefully. “I saw that, you um, named your book Smut University. Cute play on words.”
“I thought so, but I have to clear it with my writing partner. Do you think she’ll give me my way?” Jax asked wryly.
“Always,” I breathed as my lips began to play with his, denying him the deep kiss I knew he wanted.
“Prove it,” he demanded, the instant before his mouth overtook mine and his body began to claim his ownership over mine.
Epilogue
New York was bustling. It was an early May and there was a spring in my step.
I’d just come from a meeting with Marcia and was meeting Jax for lunch at one of the trendy Indian eateries that we had yet to try. After the huge success of Uncontrollable, she was pushing to publish Smut University in August. Life couldn’t be more amazing, I thought as I walked up 6th Avenue on my way to the restaurant.
I felt so incredibly free. I’d graduated with honors from COLUMBIA just last week and my career was already off and running. Finally, Jax and I could move forward with our relationship. We were closer than ever, but after spending a magical Christmas in Paris, we kept it all on the down low. We did take a chance of being discovered when Jax surprised me with a trip to the Bahamas for spring break, however, he chartered a plane and we stayed in a private bungalow at one of the more private resorts. It was a week spent in heaven.
A gag order that had been slapped on Gloria and the agency kept the awful truth of the “almost debacle” from coming out. The only issues were a couple of minor tabloid rumors that had surfaced around the time of the first book being published. We did a few signings and promotional appearances together and managed to keep the university, my family, and the world from knowing the truth of what we were to each other. We spent as much time, and as many nights together, as we could manage and still keep things secret.
My mother, who had been a fan of Jax’s books for years, had been after me to introduce her to my professor since the beginning of the semester. It was a little creepy having my mother fan-girling over my boyfriend and so I decided not to tell her we were dating until she had time to get used to the idea that we were publishing together. She was over the moon about the book, appeared even more excited to finally meet Jax, and though I was happy when she’d insisted that he join my family for our evening out of celebration, it was a bit awkward hiding our feelings from the others. I had to stop myself from saying the wrong thing or looking at him in a way that might give it away, more than once.
Jax contented himself with reaching for my hand and holding it beneath the white linen tablecloth of the fine dining establishment. My dad kept telling my mother to calm down throughout the evening, clearly irritated at her behavior and my brother was clearly embarrassed by it, too. During the meal, mother monopolized the conversation going on and on about his novels, and though Jax was gracious, he seemed reserved. I could tell he would have rather just been open about our relationship.
Now, with graduation behind me, I was excited to start my new life with Jax. Writing would allow us to live anywhere in the world, though both of our families were in New York City and New York State, and Jax loved teaching at COLUMBIA so much, I couldn’t see us moving away from the city. We’d already talked about traveling to many exotic locations across the globe. The skyscrapers lined the sky, towering above me in all their majestic glory. I looked up to see the clear blue sky that was dotted with billowy white clouds. I was so happy, I felt like Cinderella arriving at the ball.