Em has never confirmed that there is anything going on between her and Austin, always telling me they’re just friends. I know her well enough to be confident she isn’t diddling me while dating Austin.
Except it seems no one else knows that, and that worries me. Em’s tough. She doesn’t let bitchy talk get to her. And there’s been plenty of talk over the years because we live together. People are judgmental assholes and thinks it’s impossible to be friends with the opposite sex without one or the other becoming too invested, wanting more. Which is bullshit. Em and I have always been friends. Now we’re friends who jam the clam, too.
Though I’m positive there’s nothing between her and Austin, it doesn’t look good from everyone else’s perspective. It makes Em look like she’s playing two guys. I don’t care how it reflects on me, but it also makes Austin look stupid. His friend and apparent girlfriend messing around behind his back. He might not realize it, but other people are noticing.
Em’s not the type of girl to string two guys along. For fuck’s sake, she still hasn’t kissed a guy. She can polish my pole like a pro, but I can guarantee there’s no chance of anyone else getting in her pants, because it takes time to build trust in a relationship. Time most guys aren’t willing to give. Except maybe Austin.
But Austin’s not pathetic. He’s not stupid. He wouldn’t stick with a girl if she was screwing around on him.
Me? Ehhh. Until a couple of months ago, I’d dip my wick into any mouth, as long as the chick was hot and willing. I didn’t think twice about it if she had a boyfriend. If she dropped to her knees for me, that was her and her boyfriend’s problem, not mine.
Can’t do that with Em. I care about her too much.
I frown.
Shit.
I need to stop this. Now. Until Em and Austin set the record straight, and let everyone know they’re not dating, at all, never have been, there will be no more dicking, no more lusting and thrusting, no more bumping uglies.
It’s done.
It’s the only way to protect both Em and Austin’s reputations.
My muscles protest as I push myself further, running up and down the stairs that lead to the top of the cliff overlooking the entire cove. I can make out the camp in the far distance and wonder if anyone has noticed that I’m missing. I’ve been running for hours. My lungs burn from lack of oxygen. My legs ache, trembling from the strain of running for so long.
I pause long enough to take a drink at the water fountain and splash my face and head with water before I turn around and run back down the stairs and along the beach to the camp. It’s getting late, and we’re leaving in the morning.
Not soon enough.
Em greets me with a smile when I make it back to the tent. She’s lying on her stomach in her bikini, reading. She’s hot. But there’s something about the way she lies on her stomach with her feet crossed at the ankles, hair piled on her head while she reads that’s so beyond sexy. It makes me want to crawl over her, bite her ass cheek and plough her through the floor of the tent.
I groan and squeeze my eyes shut, turning away from her tempting form.
“Hey, where’d you disappear to?” She shuffles around.
I avoid meeting her gaze, panting for breath, sweat dripping down my back. “Running.” Isn’t that obvious?
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come with you.”
“You were having fun in the water with Austin.” I don’t mean to snap at her, but my voice comes out harsher than I expect it to. Damn hormones. I’m trying to pull myself together and not go back on the decision I made to stop this, but her scent washes over me. My knees go weak, and I want to lick a line from her throat to her…
No. I don’t.
Taking a deep breath, I crouch down and pull out clean clothes from my bag.
“Colt,” Em says, crawling over to me. “Everything okay?”
Her hand is soft and warm on my arm, her eyes flicking between mine with worry. I drop my gaze to her chest, my fingers flex. All it will take is a small flick of my wrist and I could brush her nipple through her top.
But I don’t. I pull away and adjust my shorts to hide my erection. “Fine. Going for a shower,” I say and run out of the tent like a bat out of hell.
The hot spray of the shower does little to calm me down. All I want to do is go back to the tent, wrap Em in my arms and apologize for being a dick. But I don’t.
I stand under the shower and let the water wash away the reservations I have about doing this.
The last thing I want to do is become the guy that screws his girl, takes her virginity and dumps her days later. Not that Em is my girl and I’m dumping her. But then why does my stupid chest hurt every time I think about what I have to do?
Bracing my hands on the shower wall, I drop my head and let the water sluice down my back. The sound of the heavy stream and the thoughts in my mind drown out all sound, and I don’t hear her until it’s too late. Until her arms wrap around my waist and she presses her face into my back.
My back stiffens and I don’t move. I should move away. I should tell her we can’t do this anymore but she fits so perfectly against me.
Her hands caress my stomach, dusting over my ribs. “You seemed on edge. I wanted to make sure you were okay,” she says, pressing herself closer to me.
I squeeze my eyes shut, enjoying her touch on my skin. “I’m fine.”
“Colt, look at me.”
I can’t though, because if I turn around it’ll be game over. I’m not strong enough to resist her. I’m already hard and throbbing, and all she’s done is wrap her arms around me. If I let her see I’m ready for her, she’ll get the wrong idea and make ending this that much harder.
She rubs my back, kneading my tight muscles. “You’re tense. What’s wrong?”
I still don’t move, don’t speak. My fists clench at my sides as Em’s fingers work the muscles in my neck. It’s when her lips press to my spine I snap. Spinning around, I grip her hands in mine, holding them away from my body as I step toward her, crowding her space until she backs up against the shower wall.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her we can’t do this, but I lean into her instead, just wanting to breathe her in one last time, feel her skin against mine one last time before I fuck it all up because of stupid Austin.
And then she ruins my resolve in one move. Hands still clasped in mine, she drops to her fucking knees.
I see something in her eyes.
Curiosity. Eagerness. Desire.
But there’s a hint of something else. Fear, maybe? Vulnerability.
She’s putting herself out there, taking a chance and going after what she wants. Which is something I’ve imagined over and over, yet never discussed with her.
“Is this okay?” she lifts her gaze to mine, pulling her hands from my slackened grip. No, this is not okay. She has to stop. She traces one finger along my shaft and places her other hand on my thigh. “I’ve wanted to try this, but I’m nervous. I don’t know what to do.”
I move my hand to her face, brush my thumb across cheek and slide my fingers into her hair with every intention of pulling her away.
“Em.” My voice is croaky, rough. My throat dry. I swallow, trying to moisten it. “I think you...”