I chuckle softly to myself. There were years I hoped this day would come, that Graham would tell me he’s here to stay, but somehow hearing it now, it’s different. I almost wish he would go to avoid the pain of having to be around him again while not being able to hold him.
“I don’t believe you for a second, but for your mom’s sake, I hope it’s the truth. Like I said, I didn’t do this for you. I stopped caring what you wanted or made you happy a long time ago.”
After leaving Sandy’s house, I decided to go for a drive and blare some music before I head into the salon for the day. I had some time to spare before my first client and while I had things I could get done, I needed some time to collect my thoughts. Going for a long drive was one of the few ways I’ve been doing that nowadays.
Something about rolling down your windows, turning up the music, and taking the back roads around this town was soothing to my soul. I sang Miranda Lambert so loud I couldn’t even think about how much I missed Graham. For a second, with the wind blowing through my hair, it almost seemed like the weight of missing him all these years was gone too.
Going into the salon, I knew if I couldn’t get my mind right Kinsley would pick up on something being wrong. I still wasn’t ready to tell her about seeing him, even if I knew sooner or later it was going to happen.
Driving down the alley behind the salon, I pull into my parking spot and put it into park. I run my fingers through my messy strands. I should be thankful the messy, beachy waves is the style now. My windblown hair almost looks like this was intentional.
Sliding my purse over my shoulder, I swipe my lip gloss over my lips. On a normal day, I would run home and take a quick shower after working out in the yard but it’s a short day and I plan on having a night in tonight, so I didn’t bother.
“Hals, that you?” The door chimes as I enter through the side door, alerting her of my arrival.
“Yeah, Kins. It’s me.”
I make a beeline for the back room to drop off my purse, but I don’t even make it through the doorway when her head pops in behind me.
“You alright?”
I swear, there is no one on this earth who knows me better than Kinsley Hudson. She’s like my soul sister and I love her deeply, but today is one of those days I wish she couldn’t read me like a book.
“Of course,” I say, putting extra emphasis on my chipper tone hoping to throw her off.
I glance at her over my shoulder. Her hand is perched on the side of the door and her eyes narrow, looking at me. Her laser like stare burns holes into me, and I want to tell her to knock it off.
“You’re not fooling me. Try again. What happened?”
“Can we talk about it later? I’m not sure I am ready to talk about it yet.”
She pauses, as if she’s not sure if this is one of those moments where she should press further hoping she can get it out of me knowing talking about it will help make me feel better or if I truly need her to give me the time.
I don’t know one way or another myself because I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready to talk about Graham being back in town and how I’m going to force myself to live my life like he’s not.
“I’ll give you some time because I think it’s what you need, but not too much. We’re going to talk before we leave tonight, alright? So, whatever is going on in that pretty head of yours, I’ll help you with it here in a bit.”
She doesn’t give me a chance to reply, as she spins on her heel and walks right back out. Who am I kidding though? If she wants to talk about it, we’re gonna talk about it. There’s no way around it.
Over the next couple of hours, I busy myself with my clients. I was happy because one of my friends from a few towns over, Ryan, stopped by. She’s the girlfriend of Graham’s friend, Maverick. I always love catching up with her. Her sassy and spunky personality is just what I needed to pull me out of my earlier mood.
We spent a couple of hours together, dying her hair and trimming it. While I hadn’t expected it, she asked me if I had a chance to see Graham recently, and I could once again feel Kinsley’s eyes staring at me as I nodded my head at Ryan in the mirror. She knew about the first time, seeing as she helped orchestrate it, but by how she’s looking at me now it’s obvious she knows it’s not the only time.
Ryan picks up on it being a subject I’d rather not talk about and doesn’t ask anything more, instead moves on to share how Mav has been working with Graham. I wasn’t the least bit surprised.
Maverick and Graham were as thick as thieves growing up. He lived a few towns over where Gage, Graham’s cousin, lived. Although they didn’t see each other often, I know how much their friendship meant to Graham. It’s how he met Dean, so I guess it only makes sense Maverick would be helping them get their company up and running.
By the time Ryan took off, I was worn down and ready to shower, put on my pj’s and watch a movie with a glass of wine. I was hoping Kinsley would see it and give me a break, but when she walked out of the back room a few minutes later I knew there was no chance.
“Sit, you look tired as hell.”
Well, at least she can still read me even if she isn’t going to cut me some slack.
“You saw Graham again? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s part of the reason why I didn’t want to talk earlier. I knew he was back, but I still don’t think I was ready to be around him. Just like I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it right now. It’s not like I can avoid him though. Arbor Creek is a small town, I’m bound to run into him at some point. I guess I just need to rip off the Band-Aid already.”
She nods her head and I can sense the sympathy. Walking toward me, she wraps her arms around my shoulders and pulls me into a hug.
“You know it’s going to get better, right?” she mumbles into my ear. “It’s not always going to feel like this. You’re so strong, Hals. You’ll be happy again.”
Tears prick my eyes as I blink through them, not wanting to let my emotions get to me. I don’t try to speak though, so I simply respond with a nod.
We stand like this for a minute and when I let out a heavy sigh, she finally releases me enough to step back to make sure I’m okay.
“I know I will. I just felt like seeing him was like reopening an old scar. I just need to stop thinking about the past, the what could’ve been. I need to stop touching the wound because there’s no way I’m going to heal if I don’t.”
6
Graham – One Month Later
* * *
Shuffling through a stack of papers, I search for the one I need. I knew I should’ve hired an assistant when Dean brought up the question, but we didn’t need the extra expense right now.
Getting Compass Security up off the ground after returning home has not been easy, especially when my business partner, Dean, is working seven hours away in Chicago. Having an assistant would really come in handy right now.
I was up late last night with my mom. Her blood sugar dropped, I was worried to leave her unattended. I opted to sleep on my old twin mattress. It was my only option if I had any hope of getting a wink of sleep at all.