Finally, he whispers that it was all just “a big mistake.” He isn’t referring to Tristan. He’s referring to his two-week fling with Hannah.
“Are you kidding me? I’m just supposed to be okay with this? You meet some girl, spend two weeks with her, call it a fling, and that’s the end of it? Just a mistake? Be serious! Do you have any idea what it was like when that woman showed up and dropped him off? I couldn’t even get ahold of you!”
Finally, he tells me everything I need to know: That he knew all along and had no plans on ever telling me. Escaping to the army and getting me out of Endings was the only plan he’d ever really had, hoping Hannah and their son would just disappear.
He says, simply, “I know, Cal. I’m sorry.”
“And why didn’t you tell me? Do you think that you could possibly mention something like a kid to your fiancé? Was I just supposed to find out when Tristan turned eighteen?”
“I didn’t believe her. I didn’t think he could be mine. I had no idea I was even on the birth certificate. I still don’t know how she did that without a signature. And we only did it once, well, twice.”
“I’m going to be sick.”
“I’m so sorry, Callie. I don’t know what to say or how to fix this.”
“You can’t fix this! It’s too late!”
Austin sighs and I swear he’s about to cry. I refuse to feel sorry for him—he caused this situation.
“And don’t look all sad like a puppy! I don’t feel sorry for you. No one will! You did this, not me! You ruined everything. Do you know how long I waited for you to come home? Spent the last two months planning a stupid wedding that isn’t happening now.”
Austin’s head snaps up. “The wedding is off?”
“Um, yes! Duh. You think I’m marrying a liar? Hell no! I waited how long and was faithful to you? I’d be crazy to marry you now.”
Now, he does cry. Finally, he says, “I’m so sorry, Cal. You have to understand. I was a kid. It happened with one girl over a two-week period. She was, I don’t know, pushy. And I was dumb. It was a mistake. I even told her that. I never expected to hear from her again. And, I didn’t, for a long time. It’s not like it was love. She was just a girl who—”
“No! I’m not listening to this! We were supposed to be each other’s one and only. You ruined that too. How fucking long were we together? I’ll never be able to trust you. Just, just get out!”
“Get out?”
“Yes. I’m done. D-o-n-e done. Got it? So get the fuck out of the car. I’m done with you. I’m staying with Stixx and Cyber until I figure out what to do. Maybe Cyber’s got some friends I could hang with. You know, just a quick, two-week mistake. Luckily, I take my pills!”
“Cal, we can work this out. I need you.”
“No. I’m done. Get the hell out and call someone else to give you a ride. In fact, why don’t you call baby Momma. Oh, wait, she’s in jail! Good pick, there, Austin. I don’t even know you! You hate drugs!”
“But—”
“Our wedding was a week away! A week! This should be the happiest time of our lives. You ruined everything! Get out. Get out of my life. I am done with you, Austin Rivers! Oh, and by the way, not that you care, but your kid is at Julie’s.”
“Ya know, he was just a kid. And Bess says it was a one-time thing,” Stixx says, snapping her gum. “Maybe ya’ll can still work this out. Ya’ll been together since you was kids. It’d be a shame…”
“So I’m supposed to just get over it?”
“Nah. You have every right to be mad at him. If my old man did that, well, hell. I’d be hankering to do something about it, too. I’m just saying, long-term. Maybe there’s a way ya’ll could work it out.”
“I don’t know. I mean, I didn’t sign up for this. And every time I look at that kid, all I’m going to see is her—whoever she is.”
“Old men are hard to come by. Ya’ll have history. Besides, Bess says she looks like him and who knows how long the homewrecker will be locked up. Cyber’s ex has been in for years. No chance of her getting out any time soon. Good riddance. I don’t let it bother me. Everyone has a past, ya know?”
“Austin’s past is supposed to be with me.”
“I hear ya, girl. Maybe you should go see Es. It’s the future you’re worried about, right? And the wedding is so close.”
“The wedding is off!” I frown, sorry to have snapped at Stixx, who doesn’t seem to have noticed or even care.
“For good?”
“I think so. I mean, be serious. Would you marry him after this?”
She shakes her head from side to side, picking at her lip ring. “But I was never much for legal bullshit anyway. I don’t think love needs a contract. But that’s just me. Girls like you, well, you are more …traditional.”
I laugh, eyeing Cyber’s name tattooed on her ring finger. “You’re probably right. I was just so excited. I’ve spent months planning that wedding. Trying to make sure everything was just right. Then this.”
I push away a tear, threatening to morph into a puddle of them, with the back of my hand. I stand, determined not to cry all over again. “You know what? You’re right. I’m going to go see Es. I need some kind of plan—something.”
“Good! That’s right girl, take matters into your own hands. You’re better off doing something about this than stewing. Try to stay busy. Time will help fix this,” she says, looking down the narrow hallway of her tiny trailer. She whispers, “Don’t think Austin’s any different than any other man. You think Cyber’s perfect? Oh, hell no! But, in the end, he’s worth it.”
Stunned, I try to picture Stixx and Cyber—as odd as they can appear—ever having problems. But they are perfect for each other. What kind of problems could they possibly have? I can almost hear Grandma laughing, telling me not to be naive, from the sky. Has he cheated on her, too?
“Bess said the kid’s super cute.”
I shrug. “He’s okay. Messy though. I have no idea how Austin’s possibly handling him alone. I don’t think Austin’s ever been around kids. Not like I have either, but still.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind being a fly on the wall over at Maggie’s! When’s she home?”
I shrug, swallowing the lump of guilt in my stomach for not checking on Austin’s grandmother. “It’ll be awhile.”
“Oh no! Is she going to be okay?”
“I hope so. I haven’t checked on her. I feel horrible about that, too. Ever since they dropped Tristan off, I’ve been sort of out of it. I have no idea what’s really going on. I mean, she had another stroke—her fourth—but she’s out of intensive care. She’s Maggie. She’s pretty strong.”
“I’ve always liked her.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“She was so excited about your wedding. Ran into Willow at the Lodge. All she could talk about was how happy Maggie was.”
“This isn’t exactly making me feel better.”