Stixx bites her top lip. “Oh. Yeah. You’re right. Sorry. I think everyone was just so excited for ya’ll. Look, I support you no matter what you do and I don’t blame you for calling the wedding off. You’re welcome to stay with Cyber and me as long as you like.”
“Thank you. Really. It helps a lot. I’m thinking of talking to Rory and seeing about renting a cabin of my own. I need to wait for my financial aid to come in for school. Then, I’m going to need a part-time job. Do you know anyone looking for a caregiver?”
“I’ll ask around. I heard Willow’s sister’s moving in. Just lost her old man. Maybe her? I’ll check.”
“Thanks, Stixx, for everything.”
“You can’t stay with Stixx and Cyber forever, love. I really think you need to go back to Maggie’s and work it out with Austin.”
I want to ask Es where her crystal ball is. I want to tell her that her tarot cards suck and that I’m pretty sure she’s faking it. I press my lips together and fold my arms over my chest.
“You know, when my daddy got bad, it sort of helped me.”
“Helped you?”
“Well, staying distracted and all. When Maggie gets back she’s going to need you. And the child—what’s his name again?”
Some psychic. Doesn’t even know the kid’s name. “Tristan.”
“Yeah. Tristan—pretty name—is going to need you, too. His momma’s out of the picture.”
“For good?”
Es nods. “Well, you know I believe in free will. I don’t want to sway your decisions. But, yes, the tarots tell me she won’t be seeking rights to him. Too young. Too all over the place.”
“Too young? But she’s my age. It’s not like she’s a teen mother.”
“Age isn’t always in numbers, dear. She’s just not there. And some women just aren’t meant to be mothers.”
Like me. I didn’t sign up for this.
“You are meant to be a momma.”
What the fuck. She’s reading my mind?
I can’t stop myself from scowling at her. I know she’s trying to help. Still, she’s telling me everything I don’t want to hear.
“Blood doesn’t define motherhood, dear. Tristan’s still really young. You could do a lot to help that young man. He’s going to need stability.”
If she’s such a great psychic, why didn’t she see this coming? “I’m not his momma. And what am I supposed to do? Just get over it? Austin cheated on me! Everyone is forgetting that part!”
“Once. He cheated once.”
“Twice. Isn’t that in your cards?”
It’s her turn to glare. “I meant, with one girl.” She shuffles the cards, laying them in precise lines across her coffee table. She doesn’t look up again, rubbing her forehead and squinting, like she’s concentrating to be sure she has it right. For a moment, I feel bad.
“Callie, I have no other way to read this. No matter how I do it, it boils down to the same thing. It’s always the lover’s card. It represents a deep connection; one only soulmates share. I know you don’t want to hear it. I get that you doubt me—everyone does—but I’m telling you, Austin is the one for you, and I’d advise you to go back to Maggie’s and try to work it out. I’m not saying it will be easy, love. But, like I always say, it’s an uphill battle fighting destiny. Have you thought about forgiveness?”
I’m tempted to use one arm to push all her cards onto the floor. Instead, I stand. “Fine. I’ll go talk to him. But no promises.”
Es smiles, for the first time since I got here. “Good! You won’t regret it.”
I won’t regret shutting everyone up. Maybe Austin’s right. I need to get out of Endings.
Tristan is down for his nap. Austin and I are doing our best to make use of the quiet time to get the house ready for Maggie’s return. Having a toddler in the house has made a mess of things, to say the least. I’m busy with laundry when Austin rushes in the room.
“Cal, look at this!” He shoves a three-page letter in my face.
I put the fabric softener down, rubbing my ring-free, bare hands on my jeans, and take it from him. From what I can surmise, Hannah has voluntarily agreed to terminate her parental rights. Who does that? “She’s just going to throw him away? Like, not even fight for her own kid? I don’t get it?” I lean up against the washing machine, waiting for Austin to update me.
“Apparently, she’s looking at least ten years. I don’t exactly know the details, Cal. My lawyer said she doesn’t think it would be fair to try to hang on to him. She doesn’t want him visiting her at a jail. I mean, I don’t either, so that’s good.”
“Well, no. That would be horrible. But he has to miss her. She doesn’t even want to see him?”
Austin shakes his head. “Probably thinks it’s too hard.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“So what happens now?”
Austin shrugs. “More court. Always more court. But if she signs her rights away, I’m the only legal parent. I reckon that means it’s all me. Well, us, I mean, I don’t know.”
So, basically, a full-time package deal. “Oh.”
“Look, Cal. I know it’s a lot. I’m not trying to pressure you. It’s not like I planned on this, and I won’t blame you if you decide to leave.”
I turn back to the washing machine, turning Tristan’s favorite blue T-shirt, the one he wore the day Sally dropped him off, right side out. I toss it in with the rest of the clothes, turning back to my former fiancé, the man I’d planned to spend my life with. Austin—father of Tristan. Austin—what, exactly, to me?
“I can’t think about this right now. We need this house ready for Maggie. And she’s going to kill us about the dog.” I can’t imagine what Austin’s grandmother will say about Rocky, the German Shepard and Pitbull mix rescue puppy Austin brought home last week as a friend for Tristan and cancelled wedding consolation token for me. We are so dead. “Where is he? Has he been out?”
“Yeah, that Drake kid came over again. He’s walking him right now.”
“I love Drake.”
“I don’t.”
“What is your issue with him? I’ve known him since he was knee high to a grasshopper. He’s just a kid!”
“I don’t know. He’s too fucking helpful or something. I’d like to smack him upside the head. Why can’t Paige walk the dog?”
Makes you look bad. “Austin! He’s just a kid. And Paige sucked anyway. Plus, she moved to Maine.”
“Yeah, I guess. But still…”
“Look, if he wants to walk the dog for five bucks, let him. That kid has problems. But who, exactly, are we to judge? We have enough of our own.”
“True.”
“Here,” I say, handing him a laundry basket. “Fold these. Tristan will be up soon, and he needs a bath before Maggie gets home.”
Austin salutes, his dimples making their first appearance of the day. “Yes, ma’am!”