“I know.” I wring my hands together, staring down at them. I need to stop, but I can’t. I have never been more nervous about seeing someone in my life. I don’t know why I’m freaking out, well, technically I do, but still, Elijah is my best friend. We can survive this? Can’t we?
“Are you going to talk to him about it? It’s been seven days. I know he’s texted you.”
Yeah, only a million and one times.
Damn her for knowing me so well, and damn Elijah for being the gentlemen he is by trying to reach out to me. I didn’t expect him to, and wouldn’t have judged him if he didn’t. I figured he would treat me the way he had treated all the other women that came to his bed, like a quick fuck.
But instead he called, left messages, and texted me every single day, even going as far as showing up at my place when I didn’t answer. I pretended not to be home of course.
“No, I’m going to avoid the topic at all costs,” I reply before taking a sip of my wine. It might be the most cowardice move in the book, but I don’t know what else to do. I told him it was just one night. I’ve had to spend the last seven days convincing myself of it as well and I just want things to go back to the way they were, to keep the memories of the most amazing night of my life as my own personal treasure.
“I’m sure that’s going to work out great.” Erin giggles, rolling her eyes at me.
“I guess we’ll find out later, won’t we?” I sass back, tilting my head to the side at her.
“Uh, no, girlfriend, we’re going to find out right… about… now.” Erin snickers, her gaze moving past me and catching on something behind me. A heat creeps through my belly, up my chest and onto my cheeks.
I know it’s Elijah, she doesn’t even have to say anything. I can feel his presence the moment he steps into the room, and I can sense his body coming toward mine, each step vibrating through me. The air shifts and my skin starts tingling, small goosebumps forming against my flesh. We’re like magnets, attracted to each other, being pulled right into each other’s magnetic field.
“Good luck.” Erin winks at me right before I turn around to face the man who stole my heart all those years ago. Parts of me wonder if I made the right choice back then? Since denying him what he wanted pushed him into being the player he is today.
“Hi,” I greet awkwardly when he stops right in front of me. Damn him for being so much taller than me and forcing me to have to tilt my head back to look up at him. Eyes as blue as the ocean pierce mine. Crossing his arms over his chest, he gives me a disappointed look.
“Why haven’t you answered any of my texts?”
Dear lord. I didn’t expect him to be this mad, maybe annoyed or a tiny bit upset, but not this angry. He acts like I actually hurt him, and I don’t know if it’s because of that night or because I’ve been avoiding him.
My lips suddenly feel chapped, and my tongue heavy.
“I… I uhh… I was busy,” I lie.
His eyebrows lift as he blinks slowly. Obviously not believing me as I had hoped he would.
“Busy? For seven days? So busy that you couldn’t text me back? That you couldn’t let me know you were at least okay?” His words come out in a flurry and his jaw tightens with tension. An ugly silence settles heavily between us. We’ve fought many times, but never like this. This feels different, like the earth is shifting, breaking apart and we’re on two different sides of the crumbling ground.
With a jaw cut from stone and fury in his eyes, I doubt I’m going to get out of this. He looks like I’ve broken his heart. He un-crosses his arms and lets them fall to his sides.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Shit. He knows. Of course he knows. I almost slap myself. I was hoping he wouldn’t notice the bloody sheets, but I’m not surprised he did. When I noticed them, I damn near had a heart attack. I can’t imagine what he thought first thing in the morning.
“Had I known…” He trails off, his voice soft, his words meant to soothe, but they don’t. Something in me snaps at his response.
“What would you have done, Elijah? Told me no? Took me slower?” I’m seconds away from throwing my hands up in the air. He’s looking down at me like I’ve kicked his dog. What the hell does he expect? “Look, don’t make a big deal out of this. We are both adults and we agreed on it to be one night only. Me being a virgin changed nothing. What’s done is done, Elijah.”
Looking down at me like a bear caught in a trap, he growls, “What the fuck, Bailey? You aren’t some quick lay to me. You’re my best friend, so yeah, the fact that you didn’t tell me you were a virgin and still let me fuck you pisses me off a little bit.” He takes a step back, shaking his head as if I’m the one in the wrong here. The vein in his forehead throbs, giving way to his anger.
Why is he so mad?
I blink slowly, trying to decipher what’s taking place. We can’t do this here, not now, and maybe not ever. It was one night. One single night. Nothing else, nothing less.
So what if I saved myself for him, so what if I’ve wanted him since he kissed me that one time in high school and I made him promise never to do it again. He doesn’t have to know that it was all a lie. He doesn’t have to know how much I truly do want him.
Confessing my feelings won’t change anything… Elijah isn’t the boyfriend type, I always knew that, but I made my choice... I knew what I was getting into. I just never would have predicted that he would act this way.
So angry, so hurt…
“Can we not talk about this right now,” I whisper. My gaze sweeps the room, and I hope no one has heard our heated decision. “We can talk about this later, maybe tonight. I don’t know. Honestly, though, there isn’t anything else to talk about.” I brush a couple of stray strands from my face and peer up at him. His lips are in a thin line, his eyes hard. My insides heat at the image of the man before me. Why is he so gorgeous? Even angry like this, he makes me want him.
Pursing my lips, I ask, “Can we just get back to normal?”
The muscles in his jaw flex and his hands ball into tight fists. Angry, gorgeous looking, Adonis. He’s like a Little Debbie snack, and I want to devour him with one bite.
Elijah sighs, his minty breath washing over me. His shoulders visibly sag, and it looks like he’s given up, and thank God, because I can’t bear to fight with him right now.
“Sure, let’s pretend like we didn’t fuck. Let’s pretend nothing happen between us at all… let’s forget, Bailey. As if I could ever fucking do that.” The bitterness in his tone stings my skin. He looks me up and down, his eyes bleeding into mine with the coldness of a blizzard. “Next time you want someone to fuck you, give me a call. I’ll gladly do it, and then after, we just forget about it.” I watch him turn on his heels and walk away. I’m not even aware that I’m crying until I feel the coldness of a tear sliding down my cheek. I brush it away with the back of my hand.
That didn’t just happen. I blink a couple of times, willing the tears away. I didn’t think he would care. Truly I didn’t, but now that I know he does, I’m not sure what to do. I stand there for a long time trying to compose myself, trying to figure out where we go from here.