He helps me out of the car and leads me through the doors, where we’re instantly led to a private table in a room that’s absolutely beautiful. There’s a fountain in the corner and the room is filled with plants and tiny trees I don’t know the name of. The table we’re seated at is only a foot off the ground. I guess we’re sitting on the padded floor then.
“This is great.” I smile and take in the scenery and sounds. “I didn’t even know this place existed.”
“Really? I’m surprised Caleb didn’t bring you. Before he met you, this was one of the first places we dined when we came to this area with our father. They do authentic Chinese food, none of the stuff you get at a regular takeout. It’s delicious.”
“Caleb didn’t like Chinese food as far as I’m aware.” I shrug a little. “We had it sometimes but all he’d eat was the chow mein. Although, if you say this isn’t that kind of food, it makes no sense that he wouldn’t bring me here.”
Nathan looks at me, his teeth worrying his lip. “He made friends with the staff a few years back. Maybe they had a fall out and he didn’t fancy a confrontation.”
Maybe. It’s just a restaurant; it’s not a big deal.
Still…
“I’ll let you order for me.” I give him control over my food for once, mostly because I don’t have a clue what’s on the menu. It’s all stuff I’ve never heard of.
He nods and presses a button on the corner of the table. Seconds later the door opens and in walks a very friendly woman with a notepad. Nathan orders quickly before waving her away. It’s barely a minute before she returns with our drinks. I’m glad to see they’re just glasses of water and fresh juice. If he’d ordered alcohol I wouldn’t be pleased. Now that I think of it, I’ve never seen Nathan drink. I don’t remember there being any alcohol in his house either.
“So,” I curl my legs beneath me and stare across at Nathan, who is sat with one leg beneath him and the other knee pointing at the ceiling. His arm is resting on the ground, keeping his torso lifted. I’ve never seen him so casual. Well, as casual as one can be in a suit. “What’s the occasion?” I motion to the room and give him a questioning look.
His words come instantly after mine finish. “I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry for… everything that happened before. You didn’t deserve the treatment I gave you.”
Okay, that’s shocking. I’m not entirely sure what to say. “I forgive you?”
“Are you asking me if you should forgive me?” He smiles; it’s mischievous and slightly alluring.
“No, I just wasn’t sure what to say.” My admission makes his smile falter. I look away and thumb at the mat beneath my legs, making the straw-like material fray slightly. “Do we talk about it?”
Out of the corner of my eye I see him tense. “I’d rather we didn’t.”
“Of course. But maybe we should.”
He tenses further. “If it’s about what you… what you saw, then don’t. I really…” He exhales a shuddering breath and closes his eyes for a moment. I can only imagine what he sees in the darkness of his mind. “So, this thing with you and Eric. I thought you said you weren’t dating anyone.”
Smooth change Nathan, I’m impressed. “Yes, I did say that.”
He quirks a brow at me, “And?”
“And he persuaded me to change my mind.” We both look away once more, almost as if saving each other from the emotions in our eyes. Mine are confusion and sorrow, two emotions I’ve felt quite regularly as of late.
“Persuaded you how?” His voice is barely a breath, his eyes watch the falling water not too far behind me.
“How do you think?” I snap, running my fingers through the roots of my hair.
The door opens, stopping him from responding. Trays of food in small dishes are placed before us. I’m relieved to see forks next to the chop sticks. I can’t figure out chopsticks at all.
“You were right, this is delicious.” I say around my first bite and groan a little. Nathan, who is now sat comfortably in front of his food, tucks in and nods his agreement. “It’s not as good as your food though. I’ve missed that. I guess I became used to having dinner waiting for me when I arrived home.”
I’m startled by his admission but I don’t say anything. It’s his fault he’s missed out on that. As much as I’d like to pardon the way he behaved, I still lay a little of the blame on him. He reacted out of fear and anger. I understand that, but he still behaved like a dickhead and I can’t so easily forget that. So I remain silent and continue eating.
“That’s not the only thing I’ve missed.” He adds a few minutes later. His voice is quiet, almost as if he doesn’t want me to hear him but can’t stop himself from telling me. “I’ve never liked living with another, not even my family as I was growing up. As you can imagine, I wasn’t much of a people person after…” He trails off, but I know what he’s referring to. The abuse that no doubt twisted him into the man he is now. He’s not a bad man, just a… what’s the word? Different maybe? Well, he’s definitely different. “You forced me to take another look at my life, Guinevere.” Our eyes meet, a silent connection forming between us. My eyes burn slightly as I think back to the pain he’s been through and the pain he’s forced on me due to his own sufferings. “You made me happy.”
My breath catches and a choked sob escapes me. I don’t know why I’m crying. Relief that he’s here maybe, or memories of the hurt and the ache I felt on his behalf. Memories of that small boy being hurt so badly, the same small boy I see in the shadow of vulnerability that comes across his gorgeous, almost chocolate brown eyes.
“Gwen.” His voice is pained. He moves around the table in an instant and pulls me into his arms. I cling to his chest and let it out, my hands fisting in his shirt, no doubt creasing it. I don’t care.
In one swift move he’s cradling me on his lap as I cry into his neck. One hand combs through my hair as the other grips my ribs. “Don’t cry.” His hoarse voice only makes me cry harder.
“I want to resurrect him and kill him, Nathan.” I sob and pull away slightly so I can see his face. “I would honestly commit murder if he were alive. I hate him so much.” My anger pierces through my sorrow for him. Questions fill my mind, questions I know he won’t appreciate but I have to ask. “How did your parents not know?” He looks away as I pull back in an attempt to make eye contact.
“Don’t.” He begs, pulling me back to him whilst rocking slightly.
Using my hands on his chest, I break free of his firm hold. “No, it just… why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t anyone protect you?” Deep breath. “I don’t mean this in a horrible way but it’s not like it isn’t obvious that you’re hurting. Especially with the…” I motion to his hands and he winces. “Issues you have. If Dillan suddenly hated being touched or hated using his hands I’d wonder why.” He doesn’t answer. I search his face but read nothing. “They didn’t know… did they?”