“Problem?” He whispers directly into my ear. I shudder at the feel of his breath touching the shell. A riot of blissful cells attack my spine as they fight their way to my entrance. When they settle in my stomach, I bite my lip and close my eyes.
Forcing my eyes open, they widen instantly when I see how close Nathan actually is. His face is an inch from mine. Leaning closer, he runs his nose along the side of mine and brushes his bottom lip ever so lightly against my top one.
This is wrong. What’s he doing? What am I doing?
His hand slides up and up finally his pinkie finger rests against the soft fabric of my lady boxers. “Oh god.” I breathe when he puts pressure there, almost cupping me but not quite. My head falls back and my legs part. Nathan’s free hand cups my cheek; my hand grabs it at the wrist and my eyes come to his. He waits for a moment, scanning my face for my reaction.
Stop it! Get away! This isn’t right!
But my head moves forward until our lips only gently skim each other. His breathing quickens and he shifts in his seat, getting a better angle. He swaps his hands, the one between my legs now gripping the back of my neck and the one that was holding my cheek is now holding my heated mound, which is almost unbearably wet.
I’m such a slut.
Heated eyes hold mine as we both go to kiss each other but never quite make it, our mouths teasing the other with skims and light touches. I sit up straighter, my hand gripping the top of his shirt. He smiles slightly, triumph clear in his eyes. I don’t care. I feel warm. Too warm. And desperate. So very desperate to be filled, to be held, to be touched.
“Forgot my charger.” And the moment’s lost.
Nathan shoots to the other end of the couch, his stance casual as my mum enters the room. I blink out of my daze, sitting ramrod straight and looking anything but casual. Mum quickly grabs her charger. She gives me a look and I know she’s seen a lot. Too much in fact.
I look away, feeling like a teenager again. “Goodnight.” she calls and vanishes into the dark hallway.
Letting out a breath, I look at Nathan when I feel his eyes on me. He holds out a hand, the top side flat on his lap, inviting me to go to him once more.
I shake my head and stand. “I should get Dillan to bed. It’s late.”
Nathan sighs, his disappointment clear, “Okay Guinevere.”
Taking my son, I do just that, going slow with every single step that getting Dillan ready for bed requires, from his nappy to his pyjamas.
When I go back downstairs, Nathan is in flannel pyjama bottoms and a white vest. He’s also fast asleep on his front on the couch. I pull the quilt to his shoulders and run my fingers through his longish hair. When he sighs in his sleep, I leave him alone and retire to my bedroom.
What the hell did I just do? If my mum hadn’t come in… I dread to think.
It takes me a while to fall asleep as is expected. Once my brain has finished over analysing every small detail regarding Nathan, without getting any answers as per usual, it finally allows me the rest I need.
An hour later Dillan wakes up. I feed him and fall instantly back to sleep but, when I do, warmth hits my back. I’m too far gone into the land of slumber to question who, why, how and what is behind me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“We need to talk.” Mum snaps after I see Nathan to the door.
“Not now.” I grumble and place my coffee in the microwave. This morning hasn’t been a good one. It didn’t help that I woke up sprawled all over Nathan, who seemed to be watching me whilst I slept, his fingers combing through my hair.
Yep, that didn’t go down too well. Not with me, but with my mum, who caught Nathan in bed with me and has obviously assumed the worst.
I got up, got dressed and fed Dillan as Nathan got dressed and apologised to my mum without explanation. He had to leave for his meeting. I didn’t utter a word to him before he left, even though he tried talking to me. Instead he followed me to the door, kissed my forehead and muttered goodbye, to which I grunted in response.
My mum, after slamming my bedroom door without saying a word, stomped downstairs and into the kitchen. Now I’ve got to deal with her and I don’t want to.
“Have you stopped seeing Eric?” She snaps, her hands on her hips and her eyes angry. “Because last I checked you were both still dating?”
Oh god. “I know, Mum.”
“What are you thinking?” She sighs, clearly exasperated. “You need to choose and you need to choose today, before things get serious!”
“Choose? There’s no choice! I don’t want Nathan like that!” I hear the words leave my mouth, but I don’t feel them. Oh god. “It’s wrong; he’s Caleb’s brother.”
“I know that, but I don’t think it’s wrong. I think you both…”
“Mum!” I squeal, jumping back a step in shock. “It’s even worse than if Caleb and I had broken up and I jumped into bed with his brother. It’s sick and it’s wrong.”
“Then you need to make that clear to Nathan.”
“I will.”
“When?”
When? Damn. “I don’t know. Today?”
“Good. Because if he asks, I won’t lie for you and Nathan isn’t stupid. He’ll figure it out eventually.” She walks over to me and places Dillan in my arms. “I love you very much, you’re my little girl, but you’re being very, very stupid. Eric is nice, but I think your heart lies somewhere else.”
“Yes, with my ‘should be’ husband’s ashes.” I mutter, taking my coffee from the microwave. Great, it’s cold again.
“Now you’re lying to yourself.”
“Eric is fun, he’s handsome and he’s not related to Dillan’s father. He’s easy and uncomplicated. That’s what I need.”
“No, that’s what you think you need.” Are my mum’s parting words before she grabs her bag off the breakfast bar and leaves the room. I hear the front door close, but not before she calls, “Choose. Before it’s too late and one of them chooses for you.”
“I don’t want your uncle.” I say to Dillan, who looks up at me with smiling eyes. “Seriously. I don’t.”
Do I?
“Let’s get you dressed chubby bubby. I’ve got things to do and you’re coming with me.” I kiss his open mouth, laughing when he wobbles his head in an attempt to suckle at my lips.
******
I glare at him, my anger apparent. “I can’t believe you snuck into my bed in the middle of the night!”
“The couch wasn’t comfortable. I couldn’t sleep. Besides, it isn’t like we haven’t shared a bed before.” He looks around the room and shakes his head. “This isn’t it.”
Nathan and I are currently looking at a few houses in town. This is house number one and he hates it. Not that I blame him; it stinks of damp and needs a lot of work. Although it has potential, Nathan wants somewhere he can just move into and soon.
He called me as I was strolling through the supermarket, Dillan strapped to my chest, filling my trolley with a week’s worth of shopping, and asked me to attend these viewings. I agreed, mostly because I need to speak with him about last night, but also because I need to put a stop on our relationship, whatever that may be. The lines are very blurred.