“Oh, you could have said that.” She’s going to hit him, I just know it. I snigger slightly, wanting to see my mum’s face but not daring to look around the doorway for fear of being pulled into the conversation. “I’ll have pudding,” Nathan calls. “If you’re still offering.”
“Why will nobody answer me?” Mum whines to herself because nobody answers her. “We’ll talk tomorrow, Guinevere.”
I hope not.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Climbing into bed with Nathan after settling Dillan in his cot, I lie on my back beside him, our arms touching. He turns onto his side, propping his head up with his elbow. His hand traces my face, starting at my brow and brushing over it softly before moving down my nose.
I close my eyes and ask the question that’s been gnawing at me ever since he confessed his secrets earlier today. “Why did you hit Caleb? Was that because of me?”
His fingers, that were moving over my cheekbone, go still. “That’s a long story.”
I peek at him through slightly parted lids. “We have time.”
He sighs, flopping backwards onto his back. “I’m tired. Can we discuss it another day?”
I roll onto my side and prop myself up on my elbow, much like he did seconds ago. “You’ve already told me some of it. Surely you can…”
He gives me a look, the same look he used to give me when I was living with him and he found me irritating.
“Fine,” I snap and roll over, putting my back to him. “You promised no secrets.”
“If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not discuss the man who took your virginity whilst I lie in bed beside you.” He says this softly, his tone not matching the look he gave me. “Why did you used to walk backwards on the beach? I used to sit and worry you’d fall. Not that you’d hurt yourself; apparently sand is soft to land on when you’re not too high.”
“Footprints.” I gulp, thinking back on the days I was, as he said, carefree and innocent. “I used to be amazed by footprints.”
He moves closer. I feel his chest against my back. Again, he props himself up using his elbow and starts stroking his fingers through the side of my hair. “Footprints?”
“Yes. Footprints.”
“Why footprints?”
“Because on the sand you can see them, but only for a short while.”
He runs his chin over the curve of my shoulder. “I’m still not following.”
“It’s silly. I used to be obsessed with wondering who had walked over that spot before me. Were they sad? Were they happy? What had they been doing?” I laugh a little at the thought. “I miss having such a clear mind, where those kinds of thoughts were the only ones I woke up with.”
His lips press against my shoulder. I feel them smile against my skin before his arm comes around my waist and his face nuzzles into my neck. “Go to sleep.”
My eyes close and my body relaxes, especially with his heat smothering me in the most delicious way.
Just when I think he’s fallen asleep, he shifts and presses his cheek against my ear. In the quietest voice, he whispers, “Tell me you love me, Gwen.”
My breath catches in my throat. I push back against him, snuggling my backside into his crotch as my hand finds his by my breast. I hold it tight and whisper in the quietest voice, “I love you, Nathan.”
He kisses the side of my jaw, directly below my ear and holds me even tighter.
Moments later, we fall asleep.
When I wake up in the morning I’m shocked to find the bed empty beside me. I’m also shocked that the sun is shining and Dillan hasn’t awoken yet. Upon further inspection, I see that Dillan is also missing.
Nathan.
Climbing out of bed, I rub my tired eyes and try to focus through the blurry coating of dryness that rests over my eyeballs. I don’t prevail, so I stagger into the bathroom and splash water on my face.
“Morning.”
“Jesus!” I yelp, spinning on the spot. My hands immediately clutch the sink behind me as I try to calm my beating heart. “What are you doing?”
“Bathing Dillan.” He says this like I’m stupid. Which I am, because that’s exactly what he’s doing and it’s clear to see. “He woke up four times last night. You didn’t wake up once. You must have been tired.”
Or I knew Nathan would deal with it, so my mind wouldn’t switch on. “Sorry.”
He shrugs. “He was easy to manage.”
“Good.” I chew on my lip for a moment, staring at a bare chested Nathan, kneeling on the ground next to Dillan’s baby bath, who is kicking away happily in the warm suds.
“You need a bath.” Nathan says, patting the shower door. At first I think he’s telling me I’m unclean, but then I realise he’s talking about our lack of a bath tub. “Hold out the towel.”
I do as he says and wait as he carefully picks Dillan up and hands him to me. We wrap him together and I clutch him to my chest as Nathan dries his hands and pulls on his gloves.
“If you go and get ready, we can be at Jeanine’s by one.” Nathan lifts Dillan out of my arms and nuzzles his chubby cheek with his nose. “Quickly, you’ll need to feed him before we go. I gave him some more gripe water with his morning bottle, but you’re out of expressed milk.”
“Jeanine’s?” He follows me into the bedroom.
“Yes, she wants to see Dillan and I want to take you somewhere.”
“Where?” I enquire, rummaging through my drawers to find the perfect outfit. “Outdoor or indoor?”
“Outdoors, it’s not too cold out today.” He nods when I hold up a long, loose, baby blue dress. “Wear a cardigan on top.”
I do as I’m told, grabbing a black woollen one which hangs loosely over the shoulders.
Nathan takes Dillan’s nappy bag and leaves the room, but not before telling me I only have five minutes to get ready.
It’s a good thing I braided my hair yesterday or it’d be a frightful mess right now.
Before long we’re in the car and on the road. I’m grateful my mum wasn’t up whilst we were getting ready. It means I got to miss out on the interrogation.
“Do I still get free reign over the radio?”
Nathan waves his hand towards it.
Yay.
“I’m thirsty.” I announce after a few more minutes of silence.
“Me too, but we don’t have time to stop.” He rubs his chin. It’s the first time I’ve seen him with any stubble. It’s only a light shadow, but I have to admit it makes him look very handsome.
“We’ll just run in, grab a drink and run out again.” I suggest.
He shakes his head. “No food or drink in the car.”
“Are you serious? You’ve let me before.”
He rolls his eyes. “That was one time; you were pregnant and grieving.”
“Well now I’m breast feeding and wondering whether or not you want this journey to be relaxing or not,” I threaten, smiling smugly.
He completely ignores me, his eyes staring at the road ahead.
“Nathan?”
“Yes?”