“Can I ask you something?”
He shifts in his seat, his tongue swiping at his lower lip. “What do you want to know?”
How do I say this? “Was… umm… was Caleb…”
His hands tense on the steering wheel; any tighter and I’d be worried about the strength of the wheel. “No.”
This brings me relief. “I don’t understand why it was just you that…”
“Caleb rarely went to our grandfather’s. Maybe he didn’t have the opportunity.”
I don’t believe him. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that he wasn’t… I wish you hadn’t had to… but…”
“Spit it out,” he snaps, clearly getting annoyed with my lack of proper English at present. It’s a difficult thing to talk about. I can’t just say it outright. Can I?
“It makes no sense that he’d only target you.”
He doesn’t respond. His face holds that usual blank façade that I hate so much.
If he doesn’t want to talk about it, I guess I can’t blame him. There are other things we should discuss. I’ll mention those instead.
“Are you going to tell me why you hit him now?”
“No.”
“But…”
“It’ll put me in a bad mood and spoil our day. Let it go.” He’s not already in a bad mood?
Huff. “Fine.”
He lets out a long breath, his eyes narrowed in irritation. “Don’t start being mardy. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I don’t see why, you promised no more secrets,” I point out, glaring at his profile.
“And I said I wouldn’t keep secrets from you, but I didn’t say when I’d divulge said secrets. I will tell you… eventually.”
I laugh in disbelief. “If we want to move forward then we should talk about these things.”
“I agree.” Finally! “But right now, at this point in our relationship - which, may I remind you, has only just begun - it isn’t time to get into such things. They’ll only upset you and I don’t want that. Especially not today.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I continue to argue. “Or they’ll upset me more when our relationship is further along because I’ll wonder why you kept things from me for such a long time.”
“Or you’ll never talk to me again.”
“That could happen now or in the future, depending on the severity of the secrets.”
He looks at me, anger and pain evident in the hard set of his jaw and the widening of his eyes. “That’s good to know.”
“If you just…”
“Enough!” He shouts, suddenly pulling the car to the side of the road, forcing me to grip the handle above my head. “I told you; I’ll tell you in my own time and on my own terms, not yours. Life isn’t as simple as you think; there are a lot of things to consider. If you don’t want that, then tell me now so I can at least leave with a small shred of dignity.”
Blink. “But…”
“Gwen,” he snaps, turning in his seat to face me. “This is me; this is how I’m always going to be.” He holds out his hands for a moment as a way of showing me himself. “This is how I want to do it and I’m not going to change my mind. Decide right now if you want that. If you don’t, then we’ve made a severe error where this relationship is concerned. If you do, then be quiet and just enjoy the day!”
He’s almost panting by the time he’s finished. He’s also right.
“Don’t talk to me like that,” I say quietly, looking away from his glare. “I really hate it when you talk to me like that. You make me feel like a child.”
He sighs and puts the car back in gear. “Why do you have the ability to make me so angry, yet so… annoyingly guilty all at the same time? I’m sorry for shouting.”
“I’m not sorry for prying, but I am sorry for pushing.”
He rolls his eyes heavenward as if praying for help with the issue that is me. “You’re not going to let it go are you?”
I answer honestly. “No. Especially not if it concerns me, which I know it does.”
Reaching over the console, he places his hand on my thigh. “Then do me one favour.”
“What?”
“Don’t bring it up again for just a few weeks. Let’s just enjoy being us and get to know each other before we tackle the heavy subjects.”
Gah. Can I do that? “I can do that.”
He smiles and taps his cheek with his finger. Feigning reluctance, I lean into him and press my lips to his cheek for a few moments. When I pull back the first thing I notice is his closed mouth smile. “You spoil me,” he jokes, giving my thigh a squeeze. “Let’s go.”
I wait for him to start driving before I announce, “In the time it took you to tell me off, we could have stopped and had a quick coffee.”
“Please,” he begs jokingly. “Somebody get me a gag.”
Arsehole.
His face sobers as his hand leaves my thigh and comes to my hand. “I know I can be difficult, but always keep this in mind: any decisions I make regarding you will always be because of how I feel for you.” He gives me a sharp look, one full of determination and concern. “I will always protect you, always. You might not agree with that but you will have to deal with it, because it’s never going to change.”
Something fills inside me, something that’s felt hollow for a really long time. I smile softly at him and wonder how I ever thought he was a cold unfeeling person. “Good to know,” I respond breathlessly and squeeze his hand back. “So… what are we doing today?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“I hate surprises.” I lie; I love them. I’m just very impatient.
He grins and points out a sign to the next service station. “Ten more miles. My girlfriend’s thirsty.”
Sigh. “Are we starting with that again?”
“Yes.” He gives a firm nod, making me giggle in response.
******
Jeanine holds me tight as soon as she sees me. And by tight I mean tight.
“Can’t breathe,” I choke out and she finally pulls back.
“Good god girl, I’ve missed you!” She beams, pinching my cheeks with both hands. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. I’ve missed you too.” It’s the truth; we bonded during my time here with Nathan. At times she was my only friend, not to mention the fact she delivered Dillan safely and I’ll be forever in her debt. “How is everything?”
“Nothing to complain about,” she says, still beaming. “Come on in. Bring that little boy with you.”
“That’s fine. Nathan can walk now, haven’t you heard?” I comment dryly, squealing when Nathan squeezes the back of my neck and gives me a scowl for good measure.
“So, all I know is, I’m to watch this gorgeous little bundle for a few hours. May I ask as to why?” Jeanine cuts right to the chase the moment we step through the door.
“It’s a surprise,” Nathan says and gives me a look that tells me to ‘wait for it’. “For my girlfriend.” And there it is.