Ivan sighs. “Did Grace say anything?”
I shake my head. “I haven’t talked to her yet. I can’t lose her again.” The thought of losing Grace after everything sends my heart into overdrive with panic.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to tell her? I mean, about kissing her?”
I shake my head. “I wanted my girl back, plain and simple. The kiss just happened.”
His brows shoot up. “When I told you to go talk to her, I didn’t think you’d kiss her.” He scratches his neck, then clears his throat. “Look, Levi is my man too. I get where he is coming from.”
“What do you mean?”
“His ex cheated on him. Grace kissing you back? It’s messed up, dude.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and exhale. “Shit.”
“Yeah,” Ivan says, and my eyes peel open to meet his. “A complete fuckery.”
I try to swallow around the lump forming in my throat but fail miserably. “Tell me how to make this better.”
He shakes his head with a sigh. “I wish I knew what to tell you. Maybe wait until you get out of this place first?”
I focus my gaze on my lap as a sudden rush of emotion washes over me. Tears burn the back of my eyes, and I blink several times to stop them from falling. I might harbor resentment against Levi on principle, but I never set out to hurt him the way I did.
“Want me to text Grace and see if she’s still coming?” Ivan asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. My right shoulder is still pretty sore. Since I couldn’t use the fingers on my injured arm to text Grace, Ivan did it for me last night.
“No. I don’t even know how she can stand to look at me.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, man. It’s not the end of the world.”
Rubbing my eyes with the heel of my palms, I sink into the pillows. “I think I’ll catch a few hours of sleep.”
“Sure, man.” Ivan squeezes my shoulder. Just as he turns to leave, the door swings inward, sending my heart sprinting again. Luke strides in, darting a look in my direction. Ivan turns back to face me, and mutters, “Try not to murder your uncle, okay?”
I force a chuckle. “I’ll try to control myself.”
They exchange greetings at the door, and my best friend leaves. Then Luke shoots me a big smile and waves his hand behind him. “Look who’s here to see you.” The door opens wider, and Seth, who is more like my little brother, shuffles into the room, his mother following.
Seth sidles closer, his gaze darting to my injured leg, then back to my face.
I flash him an easy smile. “Hey, kid. Good to see you.”
He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans and returns my smile with a slight quirk of his lips. “Hey.”
I roll my eyes. “Wow. Someone’s happy to see me,” I tease.
Seth shrugs and drops his gaze to the floor.
I glance at his mother as she moves to hug me. “He’s taking what happened to you a little too hard.” Then, she takes a step back. “You okay? Father Foster says you’re doing really well.”
I nod, flitting my gaze to meet Luke’s. “I am. I mean, things could have ended really badly. So, yeah. I guess the Big Guy up there is keeping an eye on me.” Even after I left my calling of serving Him, God hasn’t abandoned me.
I know I should feel guilty, but in my heart, I’m confident my decision to leave the seminary was the right one, and no one will convince me otherwise. A just and fair God, the God I’ve been praying to for as long as I can remember, would understand that.
Luke walks closer and props his bag on the seat Ivan vacated. “Of course He is. God hasn’t abandoned you, Solomon.” He rummages around inside the bag and pulls out a new phone and a pair of headphones. He sets them on the bedside table and nods his chin. “Your phone’s broken, so I got you a new one.”
My lips pull up reluctantly. “Sweet. Thank you.”
He nods. “Sure. Need anything else?” He seems to realize he’s walked into a trap when I cock an eyebrow at him as if to say, Yeah. We need to talk about Grace. He clears his throat and faces Seth, who is watching me silently. “I’ll leave you guys to catch up.”
After zipping his bag and slinging the strap over his shoulder, he reaches forward and ruffles my hair affectionately like he did when I was ten. “See you later, son.”
And just like that, I groan inwardly. I’ve never been able to stay pissed at him for long. It’s infuriating, and I wish I didn’t have a soft spot for him.
“Does it hurt?” Seth asks, shuffling closer while eyeing my injured leg.
“A little. The pain medication helps.”
We chat for about ten minutes until Nurse Roth interrupts us to let us know she needs to check the stitches and change the wound dressings.
Seth seems less hesitant as he shuffles closer to hug me, before he and his mom leave, promising to visit again.
Later, after nurse leaves, I grab my cell and scroll down my contacts. Thank God the SIM card is still intact and her number’s there. Without giving my mind a chance to chicken out, I tap the screen and press the phone to my ear.
Six rings later, Grace answers with a mumbled, “Hello.”
I swallow, rendered speechless by her voice. Yep, I should have thought this through. Now I’m staring into space, listening to her soft breathing like a serial killer. Or a creeper.
“Sol? Is that you?” she asks, her voice cracking like she just woke up.
“Yeah, it’s me. Um, hey.”
“Hey,” she answers, squeaking sounds filling the line. “Sorry. Stupid bed makes so much noise.”
“You should get those screws and bolts tightened.”
“I really should. Or get a new bed,” she says, then clears her throat. “I got your message yesterday. Sorry I couldn’t visit you.”
I missed you. That’s what I want to say, but I’m not sure where we stand. So I ask, “Everything okay?”
She sighs, and I hear her bed sheets rustling. “I’ve been feeling headache-y. That’s why I couldn’t make it yesterday and today.”
She’s sick? I sit up too fast on the bed and groan when pain shoots down my leg.
“What happened?” she asks worriedly. “Did you hurt yourself?”
“It’s nothing. Just a little pain in my leg,” I reassure her quickly. “Are you okay? Maybe you should get your head checked?” I take a deep breath to rein in my worry. “Luke and Ivan filled me in on what happened to you.”
“I’m fine,” she says, sounding tired. “The past few days have been a bit rough. That’s probably why. But I’m feeling better.”
I sigh. “Promise?”
She’s quiet for a few moments, and my heart is beating fast, waiting. Then she whispers, “Promise.” For several seconds, we just listen to each other breathe.
“I’m sorry I put you in that position—”
“I kissed you back, Sol,” she says in a rushed voice. “I just couldn’t not kiss you.”
“Are you angry with me? Because I totally understand.”
She blows out a shaky breath. “I’m more angry with myself, Sol. So very angry and disappointed . . . The collateral damage is huge. God. I can’t. I have to go.”