I glanced behind me, then at the tray of coffee in my hands, still outstretched over the counter. “Oh, right. Sorry. Bye.”
Tears threatened again for Gregory suddenly pushing me out the door.
He’s busy, that’s all. And you’re over-emotional.
I took the coffees outside, blinking hard at the sunlight that was relentlessly bright this morning. I went to the corner and hit the button to cross. The light was red, then turned green and a countdown of twenty seconds began to let pedestrians know how much time they had to cross.
“You waiting for a personal invite?” a man said, as he strode past me to cross the street.
I blinked. “What?”
The timer on the crosswalk was down to eight seconds. I hurried across and tried to calm my racing heart.
I lost twelve seconds?
“Not yet,” I murmured to myself, sucking in a deep breath. “It can’t be this fast.”
I crossed the hotel lobby that was mercifully dark and cool. I rode up to the sixteenth floor. No problem. No lost time. Outside our hotel room door, I took a final, steadying breath and keyed inside.
“Here you go,” I said, too loud and high-pitched.
I set the coffee tray down on the desk beside the window where Jimmy stood, wearing jeans and nothing else.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“You mean my gaping at you standing at the window, looking incredibly ripped and manly?”
He crossed his arms, his mouth grim.
I sighed. “You’re right. No bad jokes. I… I think I lost a few seconds. Twice. Once at the coffee shop and once crossing the street.”
Jimmy’s bare shoulders slumped, and his mouth parted, but he drew himself up quickly, mentally bracing himself.
“But I’m okay now,” I said. “I need to call Delia. Let her know the plan.”
I need to call her before I can’t remember what I wanted to say to her.
“I’m going to shower,” Jimmy said slowly. “Don’t…”
“Don’t wander out the door?” I smiled grimly. “I won’t. It might’ve been my imagination. Go. Shower. I’ll call my sister.”
He nodded and went to the bathroom, probably to take the fastest shower in human existence. I sat on the bed and called Delia.
She answered after one ring. “How are you?”
“I’m okay,” I said. “We need to talk.”
“When are you coming back? James said it would be today. Are you driving now?”
“You need to rescind the conservatorship or power of attorney or whatever hold you have over me.”
“We’re not talking about that now. You need to come back. Be safe—”
“I’m safe with Jimmy,” I said. “I’m coming back, but I swear to God, you cannot use your power to keep him away from Blue Ridge. Or wherever I end up. You cannot.”
She sighed. “Thea, just come back and we’ll talk about it.”
“We’ll talk now. I might not be around to talk to when I get back. Or maybe you’d prefer that?” I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry. I know you’re only looking out for me.”
“Has it started?” she asked, her voice gentle.
“I don’t know. Maybe. Does Dr. Chen know how long I have before I… go back?” I put my hand to my forehead, willing myself not to fall apart yet.
“No,” Delia said. “I asked her, but it’s been a disaster in Sydney. She’s trying to get as much info from Dr. Milton about the patients who survived.”
“Keep me posted,” I said. The water shut off in the bathroom. “We’re heading out soon. But we’re not racing back. We’re going to stop and have lunch and take our time.”
If I have time.
“Look, I think you need to go to a hospital. The patients who had strokes…”
“They were taking the Hazarin weeks ahead of me. I’m driving back with Jimmy and I’m not going to hear anything more about it. It’s horrible enough that I’m losing…”
Myself. My consciousness. Everything I built with Jimmy…
“But I mean it,” I added quickly, turning my back to the bathroom door. “If you care about me at all, you won’t keep Jimmy away from me. I came here of my own free will. Do you hear me? My own free will. I love him.”
The bathroom door opened, and Jimmy strode out in a towel. Relief so evident on his face, I guessed it was the last time he’d let me out of his sight.
“I gotta go,” I said. “I’ll call you from the road.” I ended the call and tossed my phone on the bed.
“How’d it go?” Jimmy asked, drawing on a pair of boxer briefs.
“I’m afraid she’s going to keep you away from me.”
“Let her try.” He yanked his jeans on.
“She can. You don’t work at Blue Ridge anymore. She might ban you from visiting and I won’t even know it. Or I will, but it’ll be buried where no one can hear me.”
Jimmy sat on the bed beside me. “I won’t let that happen.”
“You can’t stop her—”
He kissed me. “I don’t want you to worry about it.”
I did worry. I knew my Antony would fight Delia for me. He’d fight too hard and she’d have him arrested.
“It’s that damn conservatorship,” I said. “If I knew she didn’t have power over me, I’d feel a lot better about…”
Sliding back into oblivion?
I shuddered.
“There is a way we can take the power away from her,” Jimmy said slowly. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot, actually.”
“A coup? A sneak attack? Put eyedrops in her coffee?”
“We get married.”
My eyes widened and my heart began to beat so loud, I could hardly hear myself.
“Married?”
“I don’t expect… I mean, it’s fast. I know that. But legally, she can’t keep me from seeing you if I’m your husband.”
My husband. Jim Whelan will be my husband. I’ll be his wife.
“You’d do that for me?”
“Of course, I would. It doesn’t have to be for real,” he added quickly. “If you don’t want it to be.”
I glanced down at the flowered bedspread, tracing a line of a lily. “What if I want it to be?”
A soft inhale of his breath. An exhale. “Do you?”
I nodded and raised my eyes to his. “I think I do, Jimmy. I’m never going to love anyone like I love you. Ever. I know that in my heart. My soul. But you’re right. It’s so fast and—”
“Then it’ll be real.” His fingers stroked my cheek. “Because I want that too. I love you, Thea. I’ll never love anyone else.”
My face crumpled as I kissed him, bittersweet happiness flooding me, followed by reality.
He’d visit me every day. Disrupt his life. Maybe not go back to school.
“Wait, Jimmy, we shouldn’t.” I held his hand in mine. “It’s not fair to you. It’s not right to chain you to me like that. We have no idea how long it’ll take before Milton makes a new drug. Years, maybe. Or never.”