“Grace, wait up!” Sol’s deep voice warms my back. “Gracie!”
Closing my eyes, I bite my bottom lip to suppress a shiver. I wish he’d stop calling me that.
One, two, three seconds.
I inhale deeply and open my eyes, then turn around. I should probably say hi and hug him or something. But that’s a luxury my heart can’t afford anymore. “You’re back.”
He jams his hands into the pockets of his black coat. “Yes.” That word lingers in the air between us for several seconds. He looks around and frowns, taking in the cluster of people hovering close by, openly watching us. Shaking his head, he steps forward and puts his hand on the small of my back. He leads me toward my car, away from curious eyes.
“It’s like they don’t have anything better to do than gossip,” he says, clearly pissed off.
“What’s juicier than a girl who made the perfect boy fall from grace?” I mutter, suddenly feeling resentful.
I can’t pinpoint exactly why I’m bitter; might be because he dropped back into my life out of the blue or because of the gossip. I feel his eyes on me, and I let out a nervous chuckle. “See what I did there?”
I cringe. Not the right time to make jokes, Grace.
“You didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do,” he mutters. Stopping in front of my car, he drops his hand and steps back. His hardened features, illuminated by a street lamp close by, soften as he exhales through his mouth. “You look beautiful.”
In another life, those words and the way he’s looking at me would have ignited warmth within me. Instead, they evoke a resounding ache deep in my bones.
“That’s not fair, Sol.”
His brows scrunch up. “What?”
“You saying I look beautiful with that voice and that look,” I grit between my teeth. “It’s not fair.”
He steps closer until all I can see and smell is him. “I’ve missed you so much.” He continues slaying me with his words, slaying me with his eyes.
I shake my head. “Sol, stop. Whatever you’re doing, I need you to stop. I can’t do this again. I’m not yours—”
“What if I want that?” he asks softly.
Oh, God. Is this a dream? Because if it is, I want to wake the fuck up. “Want what?”
He removes one hand from his pocket and runs it through his tousled hair. “This is not how I planned to do this,” he mutters. “I’m nervous, and I’m messing it up. I’m so sorry.”
I take a step back. “You’re not making sense, Sol.”
“Can we talk? Please?”
I’m still stuck on his previous words. “Planned to do what, Sol?”
He blows out a shaky breath. “I know I blew whatever chance you and I had when I left.” He pauses, the muscles in his neck moving as he swallows hard, then licks his lips. Leaning down and bringing his eyes level to mine, he continues, “Of all the decisions I’ve ever made, leaving you, breaking us, is the one I regret the most. I-I guess, uh, what I’m trying to say is I want—need you . ..” He inhales deeply, then exhales the words, “I miss you and me.”
I blink once. Twice. My skin warms and cools as his words wrap around me, unraveling me. My brain snatches the twenty-six letters of the alphabet floating in my head and attempts to form words, arranging and rearranging them.
The necklace feels heavy against my skin as if to remind me of the boy who gave it to me. I close my eyes and Levi’s face flashes behind my lids, his gray eyes earnest and intense as they look into mine, grounding me. The way he smiles playfully, teasingly, lovingly. Then the image is gone, replaced by intense blue eyes that send me soaring with just a look, that always seem to see through my façade. Half-smiles especially for me.
My body is a battlefield, and I’m trying to process what I’m feeling, but it’s too much. I’m Pandora, and I’ve just gotten a glimpse of what is inside my box.
“Uh, Gracie?” Sol’s voice, filled with uncertainty, punctures through my thoughts.
My eyes snap open and collide with blue eyes that have my heart shooting for the stars and my lungs fighting for air.
I can’t do this. Call me a coward, but right now, I need to think. I need space.
So I force a smile and say, “I’m sorry. I have to”—I gesture at my car—“um, go.”
Without waiting for his answer, I dig out my car keys from my bag and press the fob with shaking fingers, praying my shaky composure holds until I’m alone.
Sol doesn’t say anything, but the heat of his gaze is like a furnace on my back, waking up feelings I’d safely locked away for good.
Her hands shake so much as she tries to unlock the car with the fob. When she finally manages to get it, she swings the driver’s door open, tossing her purse inside. For just one second, panic strikes through me. She’s walking away—again. Seriously, this is getting old. And right now, time is on my side. The only person standing in my way is Levi—but I won’t let him ruin this.
Grace and I, we start and end together. I know I haven’t been clear about this in the past, but I’m about to show her. To prove to her that we belong together. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.
I’m here. I came back. I’m all in.
Just as she’s about to get inside the car, I stride forward, grab the door and stare down at her. She shrieks and jumps back, spins around with her hand clutching her chest. When she realizes it’s me, she glares and her nostrils flare.
“What the heck, Sol? You scared me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I acted without thinking. Look, we need to talk, okay? I’m not letting you walk away again. Not this time, Gracie.”
Her body sags against the car, and she shakes her head. “Not tonight. Can we do it—”
“Just a few minutes. I know it’s late, but I just need you to hear me out.”
I step closer and her eyes widen and her hand plants on my chest. “Stop. Don’t move any closer, please.”
I study her face and the way she wets her lips as if she’s nervous. She’s breathing faster now, and her hand on my chest curls into a fist around my coat. That’s when I realize she’s not scared of me. She’s reacting to me. I still affect her the same way she affects me.
So I push, because I want to see more. Because I’ve missed her and the rush I get from being around her. Because I’m desperate to hear her say that she missed me, too. “Why, Gracie?”
“Why what?”
Raising a brow, I move forward to make my point and the hand on my chest pushes me away.
“Because . . .being close to you is not a good idea. Especially now. We can’t do this.”
“Why?” I ask stubbornly.
“Because Levi and I are together now.” She says this like it’s some kind of armor. Like it’s going to stop me. My jaw clenches and my fingers grip the door until pain shoots up my arm. “Plus, you and I, our story is a series of cliffhangers. We’re a mess.”
I duck my head so we’re eye level. “Haven’t you realized it yet? Yes, we’re a mess. But we’re each other’s mess, and we function better together than when we’re apart.” She opens her mouth to say something, but I shake my head because I need her to hear me out. “I know seeing me here is a shock for you. But I’m not going anywhere, Gracie. You say our story is a series of cliffhangers. We can change that. We can write the rest of the chapters to our story. I know you and Levi are together. It kills me, Gracie, and it kills me to know that he gets to see your smiles and hold your hand and . . . I’m here. All I’m asking is for a chance.”