Andrew finally raised his head. His eyes were blurry from tears and the darkness behind his hands. “What do you mean?”
Brian stood by the front door, angled so he could see Andrew in the kitchen as well as the driveway. His bags were at his feet, arms wrapped around his waist, and there was paint smeared across his shirt and neck. “You accept it. Accept me, with no doubts or questions. I think that’s why I can’t figure out what I am because when I’m with you, it doesn’t matter. You make it so easy for me to do whatever I want without me understanding why I want it. I can’t just keep pretending it doesn’t matter now. James made sure of that. That’s why I have to go. I need to not be around you to work this out.”
It sounded fair but Andrew didn’t want fair right then. He wanted Brian. He maybe even wanted to hit James, just a little bit. “How long will you be gone?”
“Don’t know.”
Andrew hesitated, then asked the question he had been dreading hearing the answer to for ages. “What if you decide this”—he gestured between them—“was just curiosity or something?”
Brian didn’t instantly deny it and Andrew’s heart broke.
“I guess we’ll deal with that, if it happens,” Brian murmured eventually.
Michael arrived ten minutes later and helped Brian stow his gear in the back of his 4WD. “We’ll take good care of him,” he assured Andrew, then they were gone.
Andrew knew he wasn’t going to be good for much that night so he got Archy his dinner early, then started drinking. He kept his phone next to his hand, waiting for someone, anyone, to message or call. No one did.
He went to bed drunk and alone for the first time in long enough that it felt wrong. So he went into Brian’s room and crawled between sheets that hadn’t been touched in weeks. Archy jumped up and barged his way under the covers and curled up between Andrew’s feet.
When the phone rang, he lurched awake, only then realising he’d fallen asleep. His phone was on the pillow next to his head and glowing so bright his dark-adjusted eyes couldn’t read anything on the screen. Sliding his thumb over it, he said, desperately, “Brian?”
“No, your sister. Are you okay?”
Andrew groaned and rolled onto his face. “What fucking time is it?”
“It’s eleven p.m. here in Perth, so it’s one a.m. there,” Simone informed him.
“Why are you in Perth?”
“Long story involving a whale shark. That doesn’t matter right now. I got this very vague message from Elle that I should check on you. What’s wrong?”
Because he was half asleep and still a bit intoxicated, Andrew told her everything. Simone was quiet, only prompting when he faded which was usually him letting the phone slip. When he was done, he shut up and waited.
“You’re bisexual.” She sounded pensive, not horrified—which he’d been pretty sure she wouldn’t be—or disbelieving.
“Yeah. Bother you?”
“No. And you’re in love with Brian?” This time she sounded a bit off.
“Yeah. Bother you?” he asked boldly, all his shits used up for the day.
After a long moment, there was a sigh. “No. No, of course not. You two are perfect for each other. And you’re together now?”
Andrew laughed, short and harsh. “I hope so. James’s fuckery today made him question everything, including being with me. He’s gone to a friend’s place to sort himself out.”
“Andrew,” his sister said softly, sympathetically. “I was coming in on Thursday for the wedding. I’ll see if I can get there sooner, okay?”
“You’re still invited?”
“So far. Don’t know if I want to go if James continues to be a raving idiot, though. Have you told mum and dad about you?”
“No. Do you think they’ll hate me?”
“You’re mum’s baby. She’d never hate you. As for dad, could be touch and go. Though I think as long as it’s not ‘I have cancer’ again, he’ll probably be all right with it.”
“I guess,” Andrew muttered, though he hoped his dad wouldn’t see him being with another man as the lesser of two evils.
Simone sighed. “Whatever happens, you got me. And I don’t think Brian would ever leave you, so don’t worry.”
She said goodbye and Andrew burrowed back into the pillow. Hopefully Simone was right and Brian wasn’t gone for good.
When he woke up again, Archy was batting his face with a paw and meowing. There was also banging on the front door.
Half hoping Brian had forgotten his keys, Andrew tucked the cat under his arm and took the stairs down two and three at a time. Snatching up his keys, he unlocked the front door and threw it open. On the other side of the security screen was not Brian, but a tear-stained and red-eyed Elle, a bag at her feet.
Andrew opened the screen and she threw herself into his arms.
“Ella Bella? What’s wrong?”
“The wedding’s off.”
Brian didn’t get much thinking done the first day with Michael and his family. JC—or, as his mother called him when all three names were required, Joseph Connor O’Grady—Michael’s young son, was too fascinated with the new person to leave Brian alone for long. He even woke up on Monday morning with the kid sitting on the bed staring at him.
“Are you my new uncle?” JC asked.
Blinking, Brian mumbled, “What?”
“Uncle Con brings me new uncles sometimes. Are you the new one?”
“Um, no.”
JC frowned. “Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure. Shouldn’t you still be in bed?”
“I have a big boy bed. I can get out whenever I want. Do you want to play Legos with me?”
“Hey, there’s the rascal.” Michael stepped into the room and scooped up JC, who giggled as he was tucked under an arm. “Did he wake you?”
“Alarm went off, so no.”
Michael leaned against the doorframe. “If you don’t feel up for work, call in sick. If you’re distracted you won’t do the patients or yourself any good.”
Brian hadn’t told Michael everything that had happened. Just that there had been an upset with friends and Brian needed some time separate from it and them. It had been painful when he realised he had no one outside of Andrew, James, Elle and the twins that he could turn to right then. However, his new friend had readily agreed to him staying with them, his wife chiming in to welcome him, claiming she wanted to meet the amazing young doctor Michael had told her all about. Teresa had definitely made him feel welcome, as had JC, and Brian had almost burst into tears in gratitude.
“I think I will do that,” he said softly. “I’m pretty much a mess right now.”
Setting JC down, Michael swatted his little butt gently. “Go get your mum out of bed or she’ll be late too.” When they were alone, Michael asked, “Is there anything you need? Anything you want to talk about?”
Certain Michael would listen objectively and undoubtedly have something to offer while being supportive, Brian shook his head. “Thanks, but I think I need to do some soul searching first.”