I finish filling out the paperwork and hand it back to the woman.
“Everything will be fine, sweetheart.” I smile politely and move to the waiting room. I am exhausted, even though I got a full night’s rest last night. It’s been so long since Carson has been sick, and I dread it every year when “sick season” moves in.
We are seated no more than five minutes when an older nurse walks through the double doors leading into the ER. She’s probably in her mid-forties and I’m already much more at ease than I was at Urgent Care last night.
“Carson.” Her tone of voice is extremely caring, and I can immediately tell that she loves her job and her patients. My momma heart eases more. Landon and I stand at the same time. Carson has been asleep against his chest since he took him from me. His cheek is smooched against Landon’s broad shoulder, while his legs dangle freely. If I held Carson like this, his feet would nearly touch the floor, but Landon makes him look so small in his arms. Small and safe.
Once we are situated in an exam room, the nurse takes his temperature again. 104.1. Thankfully, it’s slightly lower than back at the house but that is still a high temp for a kid. Anyone, really.
“His temp is still high. When was the last time you gave him any Tylenol or Motrin?” she asks and looks at her file as she writes down his temperature.
“I gave him a dose right after a cool bath.” I look to Landon. “Probably about thirty minutes ago or so.” Landon nods in agreement.
She removes her stethoscope and presses the end to his chest. He’s lying flat on the bed and doesn’t even flinch when the cool metal touches his bare chest. We wait, and I watch my son’s chest rise and fall as he takes deep, labored breaths.
“How long has this been going on?” Her eyes connect with mine and my ease is long gone now. The look in her eyes puts me on edge.
“A couple of days. We took him to Urgent Care last night. They sent us home with medicine and a nebulizer. He’s only had a few treatments so far.”
“Hm.” She removes the stethoscope and wraps it around the back of her neck, so it hangs freely on each side. “The doctor will be with you shortly.” She quickly exits the room.
I look to Landon. He’s propped up against the wall nearest Carson. His arms are crossed and one foot rests on top of the other. He looks exhausted, which I’m sure he is if he woke up to give Carson a treatment last night then early again to fix breakfast. He mentioned he had practice this afternoon.
“Landon, you can go. I’ve got it from here; you look exhausted. My parents can give me a ride home.”
His head snaps up from the wall. “Absolutely not. I’m not leaving either of you.” He steps toward me. His hands reach out to grip the sides of my shoulder. “You don’t have to do everything on your own, baby. I’d like to stay.”
“But you have a practice to go to this afternoon and you need to get some rest before then.” I glance down at my feet. “I don’t want to be the reason you aren’t playing at the top of your game.” He laughs a deep laugh and that causes me to smile. “What?”
“Baby, I already text my coach and let them know I’d either be late or wouldn’t make it to practice at all.” My eyes go wide.
“Do what?” His hand raises to my chin and he gently presses it shut before kissing the tip of my nose.
“I told you, I want to be here. Let me be here.” I rise up on my toes and place my lips against his gently.
Chapter Thirteen
It’s been a week and a half since Carson was released from the hospital. His bronchitis had turned into pneumonia quickly and they ended up keeping him a few days. Landon only left us for clothes, food, and practices. He insisted on staying but I had to shove him out the door for practice every day.
It's still extremely difficult for me to rely on help from others that aren’t my parents or my sister. For so long, it’s always been me and Carson. I was the one who woke up during the night with him, I kissed his skinned-up knees when he was learning to walk. That’s why whatever this is that’s happening with Landon scares the shit out of me. Kyle did a number on my self-esteem and my trust in anyone of the male species besides my daddy.
Chrissy walks through the door of my classroom and pulls one of my student’s seats up next to my desk in the back of the room. The students are at recess, so I have a free period to catch up on some grading. Which obviously won’t get accomplished since she just walked through the door.
“So, I haven’t seen you much lately. Been busy with your new friend?” She winks at me, which causes me to roll my eyes at her. She has pushed me and pushed me for years to jump back into the dating pool, but truthfully, until I met Landon, I really didn’t have much of a desire. “Mom said he stayed at your house when Carson was sick.” Of course, my mother has given her the rundown of my private love life. Nothing is truly private in this family; I know far too much information about my sister and my mother and father.
“He did. He’s the one that drove us to the hospital when his temp got extremely high.” I move through grading papers, trying to avoid this topic altogether.
“Why are you being so short?” Her leg lifts to rest on the top of my desk, sitting right on the stack of papers I’ve been working on. I quickly shove her foot off and it lands with a loud thud.
“Why are you here?” I drop my pen to my desk and turn to face her. “What do you want to know?” Crossing my arms across my chest, I give my sister my full attention. She won’t stop until she gets all the details anyways, so if I just give her everything now maybe she will go away.
“Did you sleep with him again? How is he with Carson? Dad really seems to like him.” She shoots off a million questions and it makes me laugh. Regardless of how much she drives me insane, I really do love her and her nosy ass.
“Yes, I did. It was unplanned really but he offered to stay with us that night because that big storm was moving in and you know how terrified I am of thunder and lightning.” My phone dings. I reach into my bag that’s shoved under my desk and shuffle through the contents to find it at the bottom.
Landon: Hi, beautiful. I have a question to ask you.
“Is that him? You’re smiling like a damn fool right now.” She pauses, causing me to look up at her. “Oh my gosh, you really like him, don’t you?” Her finger points at me as she leans forward in her seat, inching closer to me. Her eyes are bright, and I swear I can see every tooth in her damn mouth.
“I really do, Chrissy. And to be honest, it’s freaking me the fuck out. It’s so hard to let go of all the shit Kyle put me through and I really cannot figure out why that douchebag is still controlling all of my thoughts, years later.”
“Hey, you have to live. You’ve wrapped yourself up in Carson and your job for so long that you have forgotten to live for yourself. You’re an amazing mom to Carson, but you’ve got to take care of you still, babe.”
She’s right, I know she is. I see other moms still making time for themselves and still being great moms and I know I can do that too, but letting go is just too difficult. “Just promise me you’ll try. Landon seems like a great guy, not many would have gone through what he did for you and Carson at the hospital and never leaving your side.”