“It’s at the bottom of his pool?”
“Yes.”
“Then why did you call him?”
“I didn’t know it was in the pool when I called,” I explained.
“I’m so confused.”
I looked away. “I kind of broke into his house.”
Her brows shot up. “You did what?”
“I was worried,” I defended.
“You broke into his house? Since when did you become a felon?”
I shrugged a shoulder. “His gate was locked. I figured he was holed up inside. I really wanted to see him. I wanted to make sure he was okay.”
“How did you get in if the gate was locked?”
“I used the beach stairs and found a kitchen window unlocked.”
“Wow. Breaking and entering. You are really taking things seriously.”
I rubbed my fingers against my temples. “I’m so worried about him. He was not in a good way when I left on Saturday. He was distraught but not distraught, if you know what I mean. Like he was very robotic. He shut down and pushed me away. He wants nothing to do with me.”
“He’s hurting,” she answered.
“I know but I can help.”
“Evie, you know men are not like women. They don’t want to talk about their feelings. They don’t want to hash it out or cry it out.”
It was not what I wanted to hear. “But he’s hurting. It’s his brother. His little brother. He loved his brother. In his eyes, he lost his only family. It would be like me losing my dad. I cannot even imagine what that would be like. I just want to wrap my arms around him and hold him close.”
“Oh, sweetie, I know you do. He’ll come around.”
“I don’t even know where he is!”
“Evie, I’m sure he went home to be with his father,” she said, sounding so perfectly reasonable.
“But they don’t get along,” I said.
“I think in this situation, they need each other.”
“The look on his face…” I trailed off, flashing back to the moment he heard about his brother’s death. It gutted me every time I thought about it.
Xander was this big, tough man who rarely showed much emotion. In that moment, he looked like he had been cut in two. He was torn apart but didn’t know how to say it.
“I’m sorry,” Nelle said. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be to feel so helpless.”
She had no idea. “And now he’s gone. He wants nothing to do with me. He’s gone and that’s that.”
She rolled her eyes. “And you’re just going to give up?”
“He’s made his feelings abundantly clear.”
“Would you want him to give up if the situation was reversed?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Would you want him to be there for you if you lost someone important in your life? Imagine you lost your father. Can you imagine getting through it without him to lean on?”
That hit home. “No. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t want to be alone, but it’s different.”
“He might not know what it’s like to have someone. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
I groaned. “But I can’t make him want my help.”
“Evie, I know you, like really, really know you. You broke into the man’s house, and now you’re going to throw up your hands and walk away? That does not sound like you. Pity Party, party of one, sitting right here.”
“I’m not giving up, but I’m not going to make things worse for him.”
“Oh, you mean by being there for him? Being a shoulder to lean on? You don’t want to make his life worse by taking care of him and making sure he eats and sleeps and takes care of himself. Absolutely. You’re right. Leave him hanging out there all by himself. That’s clearly the better choice.”
“Your sarcasm is not appreciated,” I said, pouting. “I don’t know what to do. He pushed me away. Twice.”
She reached for my hand. “I know, and while I’m sure that stung a little, I seriously doubt he means any of it. He’s a wounded beast. You’re the right person to help him settle. You’re the woman that can heal his heart.”
“I think I might have misjudged where things were going with us,” I told her. “I had this idea we were an actual couple. I think I was wrong. He only ever saw me as a friend with benefits. I jumped to conclusions.”
“Wrong.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you,” she said. “You wouldn’t have fallen head over heels for this guy if you didn’t think he cared for you as well.”
I worried my lower lip. “It felt like it,” I whispered. “I have to believe there was something. It was more than friends. I know it was.”
“You are using past tense. Don’t give up. Go to him.”
“I can’t do that,” I groaned.
“I know it’s scary, and I know it hurt when he rejected you, but he is worth it, isn’t he?”
He absolutely was worth it. “Yes.”
She smiled. “I guess you have your answer.”
“But that doesn’t change the fact I don’t know where he is. He isn’t answering his phone. Even if I want to help, there’s little I can do.”
She slapped her fingers on the bar. “Dammit, you are acting so defeated. You broke into his house. That tells me you are a resourceful girl. Find him.”
“That is a little easier said than actually done. I’m not the FBI. I can’t run his credit cards. I know he’s in Oregon, but that is a really big state.”
“Think about the little clues he has dropped during the time you’ve been together. I’m sure he gave you an idea.”
I thought long and hard. “The coast.”
She grinned, her eyes sparking with excitement. “There you go. Look at you, playing Miss Detective. You missed your true calling in life.”
I felt a little better. Not a lot, but a little better and more confident I would be successful in my quest to find him. “Thanks. I was kind of losing my shit for a minute there.”
She burst into laughter. “Yeah, you think?”
“I might have it narrowed down, but there are still thousands of places he might be.”
“Start with the dad,” she offered.
I wrinkled my nose. “I’m not sure he would go there. He might visit, but I am pretty sure that relationship is not the kind that would result in him staying with his father.”
“So hotels.”
“Just a few thousand, right?” I said dryly.
“I bet you are up for the challenge,” she said with a grin. “You were always good at tackling big problems. Make a little spreadsheet or whatever it is you do and go from there.”
I rolled my eyes. “It isn’t quite that easy.”
“It isn’t supposed to be easy. You are saving a man from himself. That is going to be tough, but you can do it.”
I mulled it over, trying to dig deep. Suddenly, a light bulb went off. I checked the time and hopped off the stool. “I have to go.”
“Where?”