Chapter 64
Evie
The GPS instructed me to turn right. The roads were ridiculously narrow. I was glad I had gotten the economy car at the airport instead of the midsize I had my eye on. I wasn’t sure I could have navigated the roads with anything bigger than the tiny tin can I was driving.
“I can’t believe you are actually doing this,” Nelle’s voice floated through the car via the Bluetooth.
“I have to. This isn’t for me. This is me doing a public service.”
“Don’t you mean you are doing this because you are hoping to fix him so you can have him?”
“No. That is not what I am doing. Me and Xander are over but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about him.”
She let out an audible sigh. “You have such a big heart.”
“I have a normal heart.”
“Why don’t you turn your little self around and drive back to the airport? Come home and let’s talk this through.”
“I’ll be home soon. Once I do this, I’ll feel better. It will be closure for me. It will give me what I need to move on, and hopefully, he will be able to move on as well.”
“Fine, I’ll see you when you get back. You’re a good person, Evie. I’m proud to call you my friend.”
“Don’t get too excited. I might make things worse.”
“But at least you will have tried, and that’s what matters. It’s the thought that counts.”
I groaned. “I hope he believes that. I’m here.”
“Good luck,” she said before ending the call.
I pulled the car into the driveway of the modest house. I saw him come around the corner of the house carrying a large pair of scissors. They looked more like a weapon. I was seriously rethinking my decision.
It was too late to back out now. I turned off the car and slowly got out. He was standing in the middle of his small yard, holding the cutters and glaring at me. “What do you want?” he growled.
I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but I think part of me thought it would be different than the funeral. I was wrong. “I was hoping we could talk.”
“Talk? Me and you?”
“Yes.”
He considered it and apparently decided he was okay with it. “Fine.”
He walked to the front door, dropping the tools next to the door before pushing it open. I walked inside the house with dark wood-paneled walls. It felt dark and nothing like a beachside cottage. I stood just inside the door and waited for him to tell me what to do next.
“Do you want something to drink?” he asked.
“Um, yes, please,” I answered. I didn’t want to be rude.
“Water?” he grunted.
“Sure.”
He walked to the old-style fridge and pulled it open. He handed me a bottle of water and opened one for himself. “Have a seat.” He gestured to the worn leather couch. “You obviously have something to get off your chest.”
I took a seat and waited for him to sit down. He settled in the recliner that matched the sofa. “Thank you,” I started.
“For?”
“Giving me a chance to talk to you.”
“What is it? Did he do something? If he did, there’s nothing I can do for you. You are barking up the wrong tree.”
“Do something?” I questioned.
“If you’re pregnant, go to him. He’s got the money. Not me.”
“I’m not pregnant, and if I was, I would absolutely go to him.”
“Then what is it? What do you want?”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself to deal with what was likely going to be a trying conversation. “I guess I wanted to start by saying you have raised a good son. He’s a good man.”
He didn’t look convinced. “That’s your opinion.”
“He is. Despite his success, he still needs his father’s approval.”
“He doesn’t need shit from me,” he barked.
“I’m sure that’s what he wants you to think. He wants you to believe he isn’t hurt by your harshness or your withholding the approval and love he desperately wants from you. But I know Xander. He needs both. He’s too proud to ask for it.”
He looked disgusted. “The only thing Xander needs is another mirror. He loves himself and no one else.”
“That is not true. He loved his brother deeply.”
That seemed to soften him a little. “I believe he felt something for his brother.”
“He did. He cared about his brother so much. Losing him has turned Xander’s life upside down.”
“It has been difficult,” he agreed.
“Sir, I don’t want to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, but I care about Xander. I care about him a lot and I hate to see him struggling.”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Xander chose this path.”
“Did he choose to be emotionally abandoned by his father?” I shot back.
He rolled his eyes. “You are one of them.”
“One of them?”
“Do you need a safe place?”
“No, I don’t. Don’t do that. Don’t try and turn your anger on me. I won’t take it. He has every right to be angry and hurt by your actions. He is your son.”
“I had a son,” he spat. “My son is gone.”
“I only got the chance to meet Kade once. I understand why you are so proud of him. He was a great man. He was funny and kind and he loved his big brother. You have another son. You didn’t lose both of your sons. You have a living, breathing son who wants to be in your life.”
“Xander has not been my son in a long time.”
“You can’t just revoke your fatherhood. You are his father.”
“He hasn’t wanted me to be his father for a long time. He doesn’t care for me any more than I care for him.”
“That isn’t true,” I argued. “He is trying to protect himself.”
“From what?”
“You!” I said a little louder than I meant to. “Your disapproval and refusal to give him just a little credit for a job well done has scarred him. I’m not trying to criticize your parenting, but I am asking you to open your heart just a little.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I wasn’t getting anywhere. I was probably just making the situation worse. “He lost his brother, the only person he thinks loved him in this world. You lost your wife and a son, but you still have a son who needs you.”
“Thank you for reminding me of all that I’ve lost,” he said.
Coming to Oregon was stupid. I shouldn’t have interfered. “You have lost a lot. I cannot imagine what that is like. Kade was a wonderful man. I felt his loss and I barely knew him. You and Xander are both suffering. If you two could lean on each other, it would make things so much more bearable.”
“Why are you doing this?” he asked.
“Doing what?”
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be talking to Xander? You’re his girlfriend. I don’t know you. You don’t know me.”