“No way, really?”
“Really. It’s not exactly my dad’s thing. I have thought about going a few times but then I always feel so cheesy. Then I tell myself I don’t have the time and I end up not going.”
“Then, let’s do it,” I said with finality. “Charge your phone. We want to make sure we are ready to snap pictures of any celebs we might see.”
“They don’t actually hang out in Hollywood, do they?”
I shrugged. “I guess we’re about to find out.”
She clapped her hands together. “I’m excited. This is a first for me. Do you want me to drive?”
“I have my car,” I told her.
She raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were selling it?”
“I didn’t actually do it. Yet. I will probably store it or something. I don’t know yet.” Yes, I was indecisive. I couldn’t pull the trigger on anything. Fortunately, I didn’t have to. I could afford to let things ride for a while.
“And your house?”
“It’s still there,” I teased.
“All right, I get it. You don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m sorry. It’s probably not the healthiest option but I need to put it all out of my mind for a while. I don’t want to think.”
She offered me a small smile and gave me a quick kiss. “Then that will be the goal for today. You will be a mindless puppet with zero thinking required.”
A little over an hour later, we were parking the car in an overpriced lot. I took her hand in mine and we found ourselves almost immediately absorbed in a crowd of people. After about an hour of mingling with the crowd, we broke off and found a small café for us to grab a snack and a drink.
“I’m glad you and your dad are talking again. I hated thinking you guys were at odds because of me.”
“We’re good,” she said. “Trust me. I don’t want to pry, but can you give me a hint about what happened between you and your dad?”
“I was born,” I said dryly.
“Stop,” she said. “For real, what happened? Were you especially rebellious in high school?”
“Not really. I’m serious. I cannot name any one specific moment in my life that led to his dislike for me. It was kind of a gradual thing from the moment I was born. That is the honest truth.”
“You are not a bad person,” she insisted. “I don’t get it.”
“I truly believe it is because I didn’t want to go into the military. He had this idea in his head that’s what I was going to do. It was never an option. I was born and I was going into the service in eighteen years. Period. When I started talking about college and stuff like that, he didn’t think I was serious. I disappointed him. My mom kind of buffered our relationship. She kept it at a place where we could at least be in the same room. When she died, it was Kade who filled in as mediator.”
“I am so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I told her. “It’s old news.”
“It might be old news but that does not make it okay.”
“I think I have accepted it. I don’t really think about it much. I was trying to keep things cool for Kade. I don’t have to fake it anymore. Kade isn’t here to try and make us a happy trio. I’m not going to go fishing with him. I’m not going to grab a beer with him. There is nothing more.”
“Did Kade want you guys to work things out?”
“Yes,” I answered. “He did.”
“Do you think you should try for his sake?”
I smirked. “No. I think you saw how that would work out. Fireworks would be putting it mildly.”
“It was a tense situation.”
“That’s how it is in every situation with him. Kade was the guy that settled my dad. He could reason with him. He could manage us. It was strange. I can’t imagine how stressful and exhausting that was for him to deal with. If I could, I would apologize to him. I would tell him how sorry I was I forced him to be a referee. He didn’t deserve that.”
“Do you think there is ever a chance the two of you could find some common ground?” she questioned.
“No. I wish there was a chance. I just don’t see it happening. I admire what you have with your father but what you have is special and unique. I’m not the only person in the world who doesn’t have a relationship with their family. Sometimes, blood isn’t enough. We might be related but we couldn’t be more different.”
She nodded as if she understood, but I didn’t think she did. It was a confusing situation for someone who had never experienced my familial ties. We weren’t the Cleavers or even the Connors. I didn’t believe we were dysfunctional either. We simply were not meant to be the typical father and son.
“Okay, I will leave it alone,” she said.
“Thank you. I appreciate you trying to figure it out, but I really don’t need you to try and fix it. This is something that has been a part of my life for a very long time. I have accepted it and I’m okay with it.”
“Got it.”
“Now, would you like to go to the wax museum or stroll down the Walk of Fame?”
Her face lit up. “Oh my gosh, I want to do both!”
“We will. Let’s start with the TCL Chinese Theater and then we’ll head to Madame Tussaud’s.”
She clapped her hands together much like a child would do. “Awesome. I cannot believe I have never been here. How often do you come here?”
“Not often. I have been here a couple of times but not recently. I’m sure the sidewalk is going to be littered with new stars. Is there one in particular you want to see?”
She appeared thoughtful. “Is it too cheesy if I say Marilyn Monroe?”
“Absolutely not,” I assured her.
“What about you? Whose star do you want to see?”
I mulled it over. “I wanted to see Clint Eastwood’s star, but I found out he doesn’t have one. In fact, very few of the stars I actually admire do. But I guess I would like to see John Wayne’s star.”
“We are old souls.” She smiled.
“I guess we both appreciate the old-school ways,” I agreed.
“Are you ready?”
“Let’s go.”
I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, hers going around my waist as we melted back into the crowds clogging the sidewalks. Despite being in the middle of a large crowd, it felt like it was just me and her. I was enjoying myself and could almost believe we were on vacation together. We were far away from home and the confines of our normal routines. We were far away from the heavy decisions that were awaiting me back there.
Stalling. I was stalling. I wanted to spend as much time with her before I left. I was going to leave. I had come to that conclusion sometime in the middle of the night. I had to. I couldn’t deal with the ghosts. I had an urge to run. Not necessarily back to Oregon but anywhere.
Chapter 62
Evie
We were both avoiding what was really going on. I refused to acknowledge it. I wanted to pretend we were on a normal date for as long as possible. We laughed and played and joked with each other as we strolled over several blocks of Hollywood stars before heading to the museum.