“Fuck me, what are you doing?” Malena’s voice makes Axel jump so high, that for a second he is hanging from the kitchen cabinet with one foot in the air and the stool wobbling like a fairground ride.
“Cleaning!” Axel half shouts back.
“You don’t live here.” Malena snarls.
“Thank God for that.” Axel hisses back.
He can feel it. The tense anger running through her body as she looks around the kitchen, every piece of crockery stacked on the table. The windowsill clear and sparkling. The dead pot plants gone. The floor mopped and the dishwasher humming.
“Malena, I don’t know where all the glasses and plates and things are supposed to live. Could you maybe show me where things go?”
“Mamma loved those pot plants.” Malena’s voice is strained.
Axel steps down and plonks himself down on the stool.
“I figured they might have been hers. Otherwise your Pappa might have known how to keep them alive.”
“He forgot to water them. They have been dead for months.” Malena sits down on a chair at the table. Picks up a glass and puts it back down.
“Why aren’t you at school?” Axel tries, he tries to sound supportive. Not condescending. Not accusing.
“I have a gap today. Not due back until 1.30, so I usually come home and chill. No chance of that today then.”
“Sorry. I know I shouldn’t be here, but I got carried away. The kitchen needed a scrub. I’ve done the bathroom as well.”
“I hope you haven’t got plans to do my room, because if you step across that threshold you are a dead man. I hope that you realise that.”
Axel holds his arms up. “I figured as much. I am not setting foot in yours or Morten’s room. Promise. Do you think I can hoover in Mikki’s room, or would that be wrong?”
“You are pushing it Axel. But whatever. I suppose. Don’t move things around though. Mikki likes his toys where he drops them. Usually on the floor.”
They sit there in silence for a while, sunshine streaming through the window and Malena’s fingers tapping on the table top.
“Pappa said you’ll be staying over on Thursday.”
“Is that okay with you? I mean, you will be in charge. I am only here to back you up and help you. I can cook dinner and tidy up, and then you just tell me what you need help with.”
“I would lie if I said that it’s fine. It’s weird as fuck, this thing with you and Pappa.”
“I can imagine. I find it a little overwhelming too.”
“I just don’t get why you want to be here, stuck in this mess with all of us here, and then Pappa, I mean, what is it with Pappa?”
“It’s a long story, Lena.” Axel sighs. “I mean… I was just a year older than you… the first time I met him.”
“And he was with Mamma? Mamma was his girlfriend. You tried to break them up.”
“Malena. I didn’t know about your Mamma. Promise. He didn’t tell me. I walked away when I found out about your Mamma and I never spoke to him again. Not that it makes things better, but don’t blame your Pappa, he loved your Mamma and he chose her. You need to remember that. He loved your Mamma enough that he let me go.”
Malena just grunts.
“Your Pappa is an amazing man. He is kind and funny and sweet and lovely. He can also be stressed-out and shouty and a bit bossy. I think he might be a total pain to work with. I know his type. But I love him, Lena. I love him so fucking much, that it actually hurts a little. That’s why I’m here. Because where else would I be? I need him like I need oxygen. I know that sounds a bit pathetic, but he is very, very important to me, which makes you guys important to me too. I know you all come as a package, and if I want to be with your Pappa, then I will have to learn to love you guys too.”
“Mikki loves you.”
“Mikki is lovely. So are you, even if you hate that I am here. I’m sorry. I understand what it is like.”
“You don’t know shit about what it’s like Axel.”
“No. That’s true. I do know what it is like to have your Dad leave your Mum, when your Mum can barely function, and then your Dad goes and marries some younger chick he met online and goes off and moves to Spain with her and has two sprogs that I don’t even know what he called. I know what it feels like to feel alone. I know what it feels like to be rejected. My mother passed away a few years ago. I know what it feels like to lose the person who loves you the most. I don’t know what it’s like for you Malena, but I get that it’s hard. I get that you feel like I shouldn’t be here. I can understand if you hate me. It’s fine.”
“I don’t hate you. You are good to Pappa. You make him happy. He smiles. He is better with you around.”
“Thank you. That’s good to hear. That you don’t hate me.”
“It doesn’t mean that I like this whole set up with the babysitting and you staying here all the time.”
“I get that. I will be gone all weekend, and I do work a lot, so you will have Pappa to yourself in the evenings. I promise. I will try to give you space.”
“Cool.” Malena looks down, and Axel can feel it. The tension. The weirdness.
“The mugs go on the bottom shelf in the first cabinet. Glasses on the top shelf.”
Axel gets up and starts moving cups from the table. Carefully stacking them on the shelf.
That’s what they do. They work in silence. Malena grabbing things from the table and handing them to Axel with quiet instructions as to where they go.
It’s fine. It’s almost peaceful.
Malena makes a pot of coffee and they sit at the table and Axel marvels at the clean kitchen and Malena smiles. It might be strained but it’s definitely a smile. A half-hearted attempt at a smile.
“If I buy some new pot plants, will you water them?” Malena asks.
“I would be honoured to.” Axel replies.
It might be a small breakthrough. A tiny fragile sense of truce. But it makes Axel’s stomach warm and his cheeks ache as he walks down the street to catch the tram home.
He left Malena on the sofa with her coffee. She even waved when he said goodbye.
He smiles. Smiles when he buys a pack of condoms and a bottle of lube from the chemist by the station. Smiles as he smooths down the sheets on his bed. He showers. Lets his fingers trace the skin on his chest. Shaves the soft strands of stubble off his chin.
The dressing gown is too warm against his skin but Axel still wears it. Curls up on his pristine sofa with his phone. Axel waits. He doesn’t stop smiling.
To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
From: [email protected]
RE: This week’s assignment
Students,
This week’s assignment has changed with immediate effect. Below you will find a list of books, all are new releases from last year and current. I have assigned a book to you each, with a link to download said book.